


Will You Be Striders

by trickstersGambit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Blood, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance, Gore, M/M, Mind Control, Multi, Mute!humans, Pale Romance, Post SBURB, Post SGRUB, Species Swap, Troll John, Violence, descriptions of masturbation, disturbingly cute grubs, flipping quadrants, formerly will you be striders?, human lusi, post scratch, prospit kids as trolls, redeemed hope classes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:57:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 60,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickstersGambit/pseuds/trickstersGambit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The game ended with the promise of peace, earned on the backs of determined youngsters thrust into a situation they didn't understand, given the gift of a new world all their own.<br/>It should have continued that way, letting the youths experience their world in that peace. Unfortunately fate didn't have that in store for them. With the return of the Condescension, the battle they thought they'd left behind begins anew.<br/>In the fight to defend the world they created, lives are lost, only to be revived centuries later to finish the fight. In that time humans have crafted themselves into a coveted form of Lusi, raising young trolls to think and fight for themselves and their loved ones, and change the world from within the empire's ranks. Roles and species shift and change, but relationships, long forgotten through the stretch of time, remain.<br/>Is it possible, with all the changes between them, for the young creators of the universe to complete the task that wiped them out before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Dave becomes a dad...mom...Lusus...person.

**Author's Note:**

> I am BACK.  
> Did you miss me?  
> Will you be Striders is up in it's unbeta'd form. It will be edited as it's beta'd and that's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it.  
> look for me at [trickstersGambit](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com) and [Reincarnationstuck](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com/)(the blog specifically dedicated to this, and other fics of mine!)

No one remembered where Humans came from. There were legends that said they'd appeared there from another universe, and were protected by ancient gods long past. It was hard for a lot of Humans to believe it when things were as rough as they were. When children were forced to grow up on their own, and the legends that made their history were whispered in the dead of day by people too old to tend to their charges any longer.

It was hard, growing up on a planet where life was dangerous for a human. They were fought out, trolls being stronger and hardier as a species had mostly won the fight for space. Over the centuries humans had had to fight for supplies, adapt, evolve. Fighting the trolls was slowly growing detrimental to the species. Eventually the humans seen by the eyes of trolls were passable as lusi. Care givers to young trolls. It allowed them the things they needed to make lives for themselves

Dave's family was made of sun-starved albino, mute, humans, like all the other people within his village, and the others he knew of. His dad had been marched off when he was too small to remember him, he couldn't remember a time when he had a mother, but he remembered Bro said that they'd been in their teens, he had a different mom. His bro brought home a girlfriend, an errant human with strange gold hair and skin darkened to a peach tone(as compared to their own community, pale yellow, almost white hair, and porcelain-skin) who promptly left, flouncing off in disgust, after she discovered what they were counted as-lusus, guardians and caretakers of young trolls. She was never heard from again and it was always assumed she'd returned to the community she'd come from. That disturbed his Bro(and the troll who was always coming around. Shame on you bro.) They both gave Dave a lecture about continuing the line, at some point. It disturbed Dave, he discovered, watching as his Bro was marched off when Dave was thirteen. Bro had only been nineteen, himself. A scant handful of years older than Dave. Whenever someone in their community came 'of age' they were marched off with the rest of the white beasts. It was just the way things were.

Sometimes Dave wished he was one of the errant humans that ran 'wild' on the troll world.

It didn't surprise him, at all, when a drone came sniffing around his house. He wasn't surprised in the least when his door was opened. He simply placed the plate he was drying in the cupboard, turned, and made his way to the door, nodding at the drone to acknowledge it's existence. He knew that the house wasn't going to go to waste. Whatever Strider was left out there would be rustled up and moved into the house. There were many branches of his line out there.

No matter how unsurprised Dave was by this situation, he couldn't help the irritated scowl on his face. He'd captcha'd everything he had of value. The seventeen year old had collected everything of use or worth two days before his birthday. But now he'd have to wait for whatever grub he got to decide how it wanted it's house, and snag a room for himself so he could store his crap. His turn tables, his dresser, his computer, his desk. His things were going to go somewhere, or his grub was going to have a loooong first sweep while Dave guilted it into making a new space for him as well.  
The march to the wriggling caves was long. Days passed, blisters formed on his heels, and an ache built in his stomach, but Striders were built for this. Even if he couldn't stop for food or water, even if the other lusi kept him marching he was certain he'd make it to the caves. Maybe he'd be weaving, but he'd get there. The views of the area was blocked by the lusi towering over Dave, even with his lanky, tall frame. He was at the middle of the pack. He supposed, though, that whatever the lusi were blocking couldn't be that interesting.

Finally they heard it: Somewhere ahead of them was the cool cave, and it's echoing squeaks and darker-shaded spaces. His ever present sunglasses had to be shoved up ontop of his head as he moved into the cave with the flowing pack, shoes smacking the cave-floor, the sound drowned out by the claw-scuffling of the other lusi's claws and paws.

There was that squeaking, growing louder, setting Dave on edge, raising the little hairs on the back of his neck. Trolls, he'd decided long ago, were the source of everything that was wrong with his world.

He watched as the lusi around him started picking out their charges, sifting through the wrigglers and grubs with practiced attention. Most of them were returning guardians. He almost felt guilt for whatever runt he got saddled with. He found himself wondering if his grub would care for him the way Dave had cared for his bro.

He watched the lusi avoid a pair of grubs. Mutants, he knew, ripe for the culling. They really should have been culled by now, but someone had saved them. It didn't matter if no lusus would take them.

Well, someone might want the little bright yellow grub. It was clear to Dave that the little guy was a psionic, they were all mutated. There was a mustard-yellow one with one red and one blue eye, not too far away being 'courted' by a bicyclopse lusus with the same eye-set. Yellows were all mutants. That was the only explination for the little yellow psionics crawling around.  
Someone sniffed about the little yellow, only to have the little red swipe at it. When the lusus made to snap at the red, the yellow's psionics threw it away. Clearly some of the trolls were picky. These two must be that.

Not only that, but when the other lusi pointedly ignored the red, the yellow one scooted closer, flopping across it's fellow grub in what Dave supposed was meant to be a comforting manner. The red grub grunted, and squirmed, then settled, looking disgruntled as the yellow troll began mouthing at it's hair. That brought a smile to Dave's lips. Tiny, but there.

It faded when he realized that now that the yellow and red were closer, they were both being ignored. The yellow had become complicit in whatever the red one was guilty of. Whatever happened to be far beyond the human's understanding. All he knew was that he couldn't look away from them, the way the lusi seemed to be content to.

-  


The grub heard was thinning. True lusi marching off with their little baby butt-munches and Dave sighed. He had to make a decision or he was going to be culled right there in the cave.  
It hit him then, the little grubs were going to be culled if he left them there, and there was no sense in one death, let alone three.

 _Ok little dudes. I hear your little squeaks and eeks. It's ok. I'm coming._ Even though they couldn't understand his complex signs, he felt comforted by finally making them to someone other than his mirror. The last four years had been lonely as hell. Maybe he'd teach the trolls the language.

He sighed soundlessly as he picked his way over the other grubs, ignoring them as he focused in on the two little, pitiful troll-babies. He crouched infront of them, a foot or so away, motioning to them both, then making a sort of grabby 'come here' motion with both hands.

The little red one got the idea first, squirming out from under it's companion, crawling to Dave's outstretched, pale hand. It seemed to begrudgingly arch into his palm as Dave smoothed the ruffled hair. He found out the troll's hair simply didn't smooth out, and he sighed, signing 'uncool, bro' with one hand. The red one was shoved out from under Dave's hand, the yellow one's four swooping horns bumping against his fingers.

Dave chuckled breathily, watching as the two grubs wrestled under his hand, and he scooped them up.

'Well, if nothing else,' the human thought, carefully hugging both the trolls to his chest, daring the first drone he passed to say something about it. 'If nothing else, it's never going to be boring around the hive'. He looked down at the half scowl on the red grub's face, and the broad, big-toothed grin on the yellow grub's face, comparing them, for a moment.

The yellow grub had two blue eyes, angled up, with two slits under them, one on either side of it's face. It had big front teeth flanked by larger-than-normal fangs, a psionic-characteristic. He watched as a pair of lighter blue eyes cracked open from the slits, and Dave tilted his head in curiosity.

Well, that was different.

He turned his attention to his other charge, the grumpy little troll in his arms. His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head curiously.

The red troll had FINS just infront of his ears.

He'd seen sea trolls before, but he'd never seen them...Red. Red was a mutation. One he knew got people killed. It was the reason for his sunglasses. Sympathy flooded him and he sighed.

He'd have to keep his little mutants away from the ocean. He'd lived by the water his whole life. He'd hate moving inland, but he had to keep his charges safe, and at this point, the ocean he'd grown up loving wasn't safe anymore.

The sounds of the grubs eeking, wrigglers shrieking, lusi keening, barking, mewling, growling, yeowling, snarling, clicking. It was all grating on him as he followed the flow of lusi, carefully cradling his little squishy babies.

It was going to be a long haul to the age of majority.

Long and arduous.

Especially when the yellow one insisted on mawing whatever he could reach of the red one.

Gods save him from fussy trolls.


	2. pride in parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for gore, and violence against animals. Still working without a beta. I don't want to burden my coder.

They were heavy shits, tiny legs clinging to his shirt as he walked through the forest. Their little whimpers drew attention from the odd 'earth' animal, and occasional stray lusus. His eyes narrowed at each of these creatures, baring his teeth, pulling the pink flesh back over white dentine.

Humans might not look particularly threatening, but most other lusi had grudging respect for them.

Most.

Dave found himself pausing occasionally by streams, setting the grubs down, corralling them in his sun-tent (turned upside down to keep them within sight. they seemed to fear the true-dark without him there) while he dug out a little stream to create a shallow pool for Red.

They'd curl together on Dave's lap and chomp at the meal he offered them, then it was time for Red to get his fill of water. As a Lusus, Dave couldn't very well let his little one dry out.

The grub would writhe away, hissing and thrashing until he was actually in the water, then settle in for a nap, or just to play a little, blowing bubbles in the water while Yellow scrambled around the edge, squeaking at him. The human thought perhaps this was because the psionic grub was worried for his sea-troll counterpart, until a bubble came close to him and the little creature pounced on it, two legs popping it at the very edge of the pool.

The teen grinned, letting out soft puffs of air that passed for laughter while his charges giggled at each other.

They went back to walking for a while, just an hour before dawn, both grubs yawning, showing off rows of teeth (too many sharp ones, for Yellow, an absolutely normal, completely blunt set for Red)

Just around then he'd start camp for the day. Dinner was made for him and his Darlings(he called them that ironically, of course.--No he didn't, who was he kidding? He was head over heels for the little guys and there was no changing that.) and a movie went on for a bit, while the teen combed hair and rubbed faces clean.

Dave's grubs pupated at the same time, the second perigee on the road. He'd never been so happy for anything in his life. His arms thanked them, his camp thanked them.  
Red and Yellow picked up walking on their own pretty easily. It made protecting his charges easier.

Or not, because Yellow had the restraint of a small humming-featherbeast. He wound up having to put the submission on Yellow more often than not, leaving him exasperated. (they were also little hellions when he stopped to dig trenches, which now had to be deeper to get water faster to deeper pools, but Red helped with that.)  
Red hung close, arms crossed over his chest, even as they drew closer to the lake. He paused, tugging on Dave's arm with a warbled chirp and wide orange eyes. (Were troll eyes ever not a disturbing mix of adorable and terrifying?)

Dave glanced down at Red, Yellow sleeping against his chest, clinging to his shirt with a thumb in his mouth. The human's brow raised impossibly over his sunglasses, and he frowned, crouching next to him, balancing Yellow on his lap.

_whats up little man??_

_HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE WALKING?!_ Everything Red signed at him was clipped and firm, his furious scowl making everything seem that much louder, every sentence punctuated with a snarl. _WE'VE BEEN GOING FOREVER AND MY FEET HURT. WHERE IS THIS PLACE YOU'RE TAKING US TO? OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO WALK US AROUND FOREVER AND EVER?_

 _chill chill little man we'll get there eventually just relax and let the davemister take you where you need to go. he pointed to the lake at that point. go ahead and take a breather red you need it_ He didn't mention that the wrigglers had to be in agreement on where to settle. This was their decision, and lusi weren't allowed to involve themselves in it, no matter how desperately he wanted to get involved and stop this pointless walking.

_YOU SUCK DAVE. YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU._

_nah you dont you love me now go get into that water and soak a bit before you turn into a crabby little husk instead of a crabby little moist wriggler_ he recieved a 'fuck you' in return, and Dave chuckled, lifting Yellow back into his arms, watching as he snuggled in against his chest again, face nuzzled into his neck.

'I have to come up with better names for these little fuckers.' he told himself, watching as red peered dubiously at the water.

The short troll tugged off his shirt and pants, then his shoes, tossing it all in the vague direction of his human lusus. Dave smiled, settling down near the trail of clothes, brushing his fingers through Yellow's hair.

It was times like this that he wished he could sing, or make any sound. Other lusi sang or something, didn't they? Red and Yellow didn't seem to know that anything was wrong. They made sounds at each other, in their own clicking and chirping way that was, as he recalled, 'wriggler speak' but never questioned why he didn't. He hoped they wouldn't ever.

Dave's eyes followed Red as he sank into the water. He was always wary of his little gilled-charge's forays into open water. He was always afraid that he'd sink under and never come back. He couldn't fight the worry, the wrigglers had dug under his skin, activating some freakish protective instinct he didn't know he had. Striders were born to be Lusi, but he didn't know it was this strong of a thing for them.

Were they lusi masquerading as humans? Were all humans? Was that all humans were? Did they even need separate names then? Why was he Dave rather than 'HumanDad' the way he'd heard other trolls regard their lusi?

He let himself go off on his identity crisis ramble, listening for any out-of-the-ordinary sounds. Every rustle in the trees gave him pause, every lap of the water made him scrutinize it.

There, a sudden flash of white, across the lake. Whatever it was, it was too close for his comfort.

Dave's instincts kicked in over drive. This white thing was a threat to his family. Other lusi were known to steal, or kill, young wigglers who hadn’t settled yet. It could take his precious little wrigglers and he had to gather them up and get the hell out of dodge. He darted toward the water, wading in, up to his waist. His hand splashed in the water, knowing he was drawing the other lusus' attention, but hoping he was also drawing Red's. He wasn't going to lose one of his wrigglers. Not today or any other.

The splashing woke Yellow, who shifted his grip, crawling over Dave's back as he did when he knew Dave needed both his arms, and clinging desperately to the human. Though it might have been more from a fear of falling in the water. No matter how much he trusted Dave, nothing could prevent the little guy's instinctual fear of drowning.

Dave reached back and gave Yellow's nose a quick pinch, then held up one finger, and the boy nodded, clapping a hand over his mouth and nose as his guardian dove under water, searching through the lake-foliage for his charge. Claws dug into his shirt and skin as he dragged himself along the bottom of the lake, hands digging into the mud and silt, grabbing on to strands of algae, trying desperately to find the little red mutant he'd grown to love so much, even as the Yellow child was tugging on the back of his shirt.

Worry for the smaller troll made Dave kick to the surface, knowing they both needed to breath. A glance over his shoulder, treading water as he lifted a hand for a thumbs up, listening to the grateful gasps of his little one. He felt the back of his shirt jostle, and he knew that Yellow knew how important this was. They wouldn't be in the water if it wasn't absolutely necessary. A hand gripped his shoulder tightly, claws digging in, making little pinpricks of bright red blossom on his skin, but the human said nothing about it, instead diving back down, only to hear a burbled 'Garrrrgaaaaat'. That's what it sounded like. Was that...he'd heard them making sounds similar to that when they were falling asleep but...

There was Red, rushing out of the deeper waters like someone had lit a fire under his waste chute.

He bowled Dave and Yellow over, driving them closer to shore. The human shook out his hair as he stumbled up the slope, motioning to the clothes Red had discarded, and the other side of the lake, quickly signing for danger and 'get the fuck dressed already why are you standing there looking at me like you've never once seen a grown man freak out over his kids before?!'

The red, gilled troll struggled into dry clothes, fins splaying on either side of his face at a squeaky sound his companion made.

Dave looked up and drew their tent from his bag, shaking it once and tossing it over his wigglers, and walked toward the tree line, smacking a bush with his hand, eyeing a white beast as it stalked close.

It resembled a hound--glowing green eyes catching the moonlight, the same causing the fur to turn pink as it slunk toward him, scenting the air. It’s lips pulled back from long teeth, a rumbling growl shaking the young human’s chest as he pulled a blade from the sheath on his back.

The familiar weight of the blade comforted him as he put himself between the tent and the beast, red eyes narrowed behind dark lenses that slid down his face, revealing the challenge to the other lusus beast.

The creature lunged and the young man met the claws with the flat of the blade, teeth gritted with concentration, one hand pressing on a side to give it the support it required. ‘I won’t let them be hurt. I won’t let them be stolen.’

A paw slipped away from the blade and the beast caught his hip with the sharp tools, growling. There was a look of haughty triumph in it’s eyes as Dave stumbled back. The human hissed between clenched teeth, moving back to a fighting stance, before darting forward, swinging the blade for the snout of the beast.

The lime blood splattered his white shirt as he sheared the tip of the beast’s nose off, sending it wheeling away with a yelp-- but it came back with gnashing teeth, grabbing the blade away in it’s teeth, tossing it to the side.

Dave’s eyes widened in sudden fear. He was a human. Humans were defenseless without tools. The idea of this beast killing or making off with his wigglers after killing him terrified him, and his hands went to his belt, patting it, searching for another blade, another advantage to get over on the wolf.

The beast lunged again and Dave dove away, pulling a knife from his pocket, darting toward the tree-line, hoping to lead it away from the children for now--and it worked.

Heavy footfalls in the forest behind him told of the beast’s decision to follow him, and he let himself have a little smirk, throwing himself into a tree with practiced ease. As it passed beneath him, sweeping the forest to try to catch sight, he descended, the blade going behind the skull into the spine.

He leaned forward, tugging on the beast’s eyelids, peering at it, before pulling the blade to jerk it across the throat as a security measure. No one was going to harm his family while he lived to tell the tale.

As he dragged the beast back he found his wigglers with the tent lifted part way, pulling his pack under it, mouths moving in some sort of an exchange. When he grew closer he realized what it was:

“We’re not watching that again. Sleepless in Seattle is dumb.” The yellow was lisping at his companion as they worked together to pull an ancient movie player out of the bag.

“It’s a hell of a lot better than ‘National Treasure’, John.” the gilled troll hissed back, glaring with his little black eyes and mouth full of blunt teeth. “I could count the reasons but I think we only need to say this: Nic Cage.”

“Ouch. Karkat. Ouch.”

They’d taken names! Names, finally! They’d settle soon and he’d be able to rest on something that resembled a bed--

But he remembered hearing those names before...

Where?

And when had they learned to speak?

Regardless, Dave couldn’t help being proud of his little ones.


	3. memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two-fer deal tonight. I only did light editing on this chapter since I liked it a lot to begin with. Look for art on [reincarnationstuck on tumblr. The source for all things trickstersgambit-fic related.](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com)

Bro was his hero. He couldn't remember their parents, but Bro did. The elder Strider signed stories of their parents to Dave, in the light of their fireplace, late at night.

Dave was determined, even at that age, that he would be good enough for Bro to tell his trolls about, the way Bro told him about their parents.

He watched as the elder Strider swung the blade in his hand. It was ancient, one of a once-vast collection of them.

'From the first Strider brothers.' Bro had told him with his firm signs and expressionless face that was somehow still filled with pride. 'Before we were lusi, before Alternia. Back when we all walked the blue-green ball of Terra.'

Those stories caught Dave with a firm hand, pulling him into a time far in the past.

Bro had spoke of a world filled with humans that were so rare on Alternia, now. He spoke of a time when children, older than Dave was at the time, saved their people with hammers, blades, needles, guns, spoons, whatever they could get their hands on.

In those days Trolls and Humans worked together. It was how they'd come to be interlaced on Alternia. Earth hadn't survived. It had been lost to a larger species in the time before.

Bro told him that humans had once worn orange, red, brown, and even troll-black on their heads. It all seemed like a grand fantasy to him, especially when Bro said they'd walked in the sunlight like Jade-Bloods. That some had had dark black skin, every shade of brown and orange through to pale pink and pasty white like the Striders.

Those colours had faded with the vast majority of humans dumb enough to think that they could brave the Alternian sun and survive. Human skin was thinner than Troll, and even TROLLS didn't brave the sun. Only paste-white had survived, those humans who were naturally inclined to stay out of the sun, trained up by their elders to hide in the home and leave in the dark. Dave knew that the only reason said pasty-pale humans survived had been the troll's natural inclination to trust and depend on anything semi-sentient with a white exterior. Humans had capitalized on this by following the March of the Lusi once every sweep. They lived in communities, raising children as a community, especially when the March left young humans without parents or guardians.

Every human was Marched somewhere between sixteen and twenty. Eight and Ten sweeps. It depended on whether or not you were directly raising a child at the beginning of the sweep, when the March happened. Eight to ten sweeps. That's all the time you had with other humans, then you were expected to collect a grub or wriggler and guide them to majority(Fifteen sweeps). Every child was taught that humans, who'd once lived an average of eighty to ninety years, now lived to at least one-fifty. They returned to the 'heard', if they could, to return their various weapons to the walls of their homes, and stayed in the center of their homes, teaching the youngers.

Trolls aged at different rates. The higher it went, the slower they aged, and they were all pulled at the same time. Fifteen sweeps, no questions asked. Rusts would look thirty, the same age as a human who'd been born in the same year as the rust, trolls closer to Tyrian Purple would look around fifteen, growing to puberty-six sweeps-then abruptly slowing down.

Occasionally a human made friends with a troll who'd wriggled up from the caves the same year the human was born. It always broke the human's heart when they had to leave for the March. Those trolls were always confused, they never quite understood that humans were Lusi, and they couldn't grow up with them, they had to go raise their own little grublets.

Of course, it was against the rules for humans to make friends with trolls their own age. They didn't want humans falling in love with trolls and being heart broken when the trolls left.

Dave had learned everything at his brother's hand, as was the Strider way. The secret language and fighting technique of Striders, passed on from one to the next. It had to be taught by a strong hand and a quick body. They had a reputation to live up to, and Striders NEVER came back. It was seen as a shame on the ancient name.

Dave remembered the curve of bro's shoulders after a long night of training. The resigned way he pulled the window covers-thick and black-over the portals in their house. Every where the sun could get through, if they were careless, was blacked over.

He remembered the reverent way his Bro had placed their swords on the wall. The times when the door opened early in the night, and a sword was placed in Bro's hand with a delicate reverence. Names were carved into the hilt of every sword, and Dave knew them all. Sixteen names to a sword. Swords returning to the home after every Strider 'retired'. He knew, as well as Bro did, that if a Strider returned, it was without their name. Striders never admitted to not being able to do something.

No. Strider weapons were returned by their last grub.  
\--  
Dave didn't want to think about how old they were for thousands of swords to bare sixteen names. He didn't want to think about how long humanity had held out hope to become equals with their wrigglers. He didn't want to think about how old the humans were being stretched out to by Alternian technology and troll genius. He didn't want to think about how the hope was still held. He didn't want to think about the fact that Trolls saw humanity as nothing more than a means to raise the younger trolls.

He remembered a Troll standing in their doorway, washed in green. He remembered the purple tears on the Sea-troll's face as he held the sword out.

"I loved him." It was what all the trolls who returned weapons said to them. It was weird, coming from troll mouths. "He was good to me. He was my father."

Dave had stared up at the troll, barely three sweeps himself, locking eyes on the troll who seemed to be the same age as his brother. He remembered the way the tears had caught in the light, and how Bro had held his hand out to the royal troll, bringing him inside where his 'shame' couldn't be seen, and looked at Dave to seal the door. Mourning trolls always seemed to stay a day with the Striders.

He was a good father, to have brought tears to the eyes of a sea-troll. Bro signed, and the troll nodded, watching Bro and Dave as they worked in tandem to make a meal.

"Is this how it is, for humans?" he'd asked, and Dave had turned to look at him, brows furrowing under the frames of the glasses, nodding.

 _isnt this how it is for you??_ Dave had asked behind his ancient sun-glasses, mouth twitching into a frown.

"I simply thought...I thought humans lived on their own before they became lusi."

Bro shook his head, turning the heat on under a pot of water.

 _We raise our own young. Someone has to, or humans wouldn't make it to the March intact. We wouldn't know how to raise our grubs without being first raised by someone else, either._ He pulled a cup from the cabinet that was still too tall for Dave to get into without fancy acrobatics that often left shattered porcelain on the floor for the eight-sweep-old boy to clean up.

"We could raise them?" the troll offered, and the humans shared a soundless laugh, shaking their heads.

 _we raise you its silly for you to raise us_ Dave signed at him, hopping from the stool to stand in front of the sea troll. _we grow up faster and stay on the planet with the grubs and you guys always leave us when youre old enough_

"We could take you with us?" he'd asked, and Dave shook his head.

 _thats not how it works guy_ his hands flowed into the signs, glasses moved up to his head. _were lusi we dont leave alternia even if the whole shit heap catches on fire lusi stay with the grubs_

"but--"

_even if the mother grub olies out theres another waiting in the wings so if theres a mother grub and a human left behind lusi stay and take care of them_

"I guess..."

 _We're well aware that life isn't fair, dude. Humans die on Alternia, no matter how much we wish we could leave with our charges. Ask every elder in the center of town. You ask them how hard it is to watch their first grub leave with the drones after fifteen sweeps of loving and caring for you guys. We know our lot in life, Dude. We're born, we live, we die, all for our Alternian masters._ Bro had shrugged, nonchalant as he made their breakfast.

 _we raise a grub all the way to grown up and watch them go then go back to the grub caverns and do it over and over and over again because humans dont conquer worlds were only good for raising babies_ Dave signed, a bitter look on his face. He wanted to go with his first grub, he desperately wanted to see what was beyond the atmosphere and moons. _no matter how much we want to go with you or keep you with us you always leave us behind in the end and thats just how life is for humans you get over it eventually_ he sighed, taking a cup of tea from his brother, bringing it to the troll.

"That isn't fair at all."

_you think so now wait until the ships come for you and you go with the drones for the first time_

_youll leave without even glancing back at the lusi pack youll leave and never come back and when you go you take a little piece of your lusus with you and its a little piece that normal lusi dont have_

The troll had the decency to look guilty as he toyed with his tea cup.

 _even if we could go we wouldnt fit in because humans arent on the hemospectrum were bright red and wed still be slaves or something_ Dave wasn't one of the humans that thought they had hope of integrating. He wasn't going to let himself be so deluded as his elders. _when you grow up with a strider i guess you trolls forget that were just lusi_

"He never said..." tears sprang to his eyes and Dave felt a tiny bit guilty, patting the troll's shoulders.

 _i get it youre not done because hes gone_ he signed sympathetically. The troll couldn't be much older than Bro. _how old are you dude??_

"Um, twelve sweeps?" Well shit. Twice as old as his bro.

Said human turned and peered over his shoulder at the Troll, frowning, hands leaving the food he was making.

_Well, shit dude. Guess you can stick around for a few sweeps. You've got like three left._

Dave's admiration of his brother grew a little, and the boy nodded to agree with his older brother.

_You royal trolls don't grow up near as fast as the others, and a LOT slower than us. Hell, I'm raising a kid already._

There was a knock on the door and Dave glanced at the clock, then at the door. It was time for his brother's friend to arrive.

What Dirk was doing was against the rules. Very against the rules.

The door swung open and a green-blood troll-the symbol on his shirt said it plainly enough- stepped into their home, wrapping his arms around Dirk enthusiastically.

"Hello Dirk!" he beamed, a dork in every sense of the word. "I missed you a whole damned lot. You said you were going to visit me this time! Bloody liar."

 _dude jake we have a guest dudes like a highblood or some shit so try not to drape yourself all over dirk with your matesprit derp_ Dave signed, back to their guest, trying to make sure it was surreptitious. He didn't need the sea troll making a big deal over it.

"Oh. Oh I'm so terribly sorry." the eight-sweep-old green gaped at the troll, mouth flapping shut before he jutted his hand out at the troll. "Jakobe English."

Dave and Dirk smacked their foreheads with the heels of their hands, silently groaning.

"Eridan Ampora." the purple troll drawled, wiping his face on his sleeve.

"Are you er..."

_chill dude hes not mackin on your man hes older than dirk by like four or five sweeps hes just strider spawn came to drop off a sword hes going to be staying for a while i guess_

"So..." Jake started again. "You're...finishing up here?"

"I was brought up this far by Striders..." he fidgeted, twin scars down his face Dave hadn't noticed before.

Dave grabbed him by the shirt, tugging it gently to get the sea-troll's attention. Once he had it he pointed to the scars.

_where did those come from did you lose a strife??_

"Yeah, no not really." he frowned. "My kismesis attacked him..."

Dave cringed, patting his arm.

"Trolls protect their lusus." he raised his chin, proud. "that was sweeps ago. Before he got... He got all weak and stuff... Just really quick like." His shoulders slumped in the same resigned way Dirk's did at the end of the day.

Instinct that had been bred into the humans over the many many years they'd lived among the trolls kicked in, and Dave threw his arms around the troll's leg before he knew what he was doing, making a 'shhhhh' sound at the front of his mouth. Ampora was a troll. Trolls were a strider priority.

The three-sweep old was picked up and hugged, purple tears dripped onto white arms, and Dave shifted his arms to hug him around the neck, mindful of the fins. Neither noticed as Dirk and Jake made their way out of the room.  
\--

Dave and Dirk were too young to be lusi for the troll, but Dave was quickly accepted as the sea-troll's moirail, going everywhere with him, especially the beach, when Eridan needed it. It was against the rules to form quadrants with trolls.

The younger Strider was now as guilty as his brother, apparently.

"When I go to the ships, you can come with me, Dave."

 _thats silly you know im stuck here until i die youd be cheating some poor grub out of a lusus_ Dave responded, rolling his eyes before crouching down in the sand, peering at a shell he found.

"But I don't want to leave you behind..."

 _dirk and i are cheating and breaking the rules enough already we could be culled and so could you if they found out about the quadrants so its in everyones best interest if we stay apart when you and jake leave_ he rolled his hands into the signs, sitting himself down on the ground. Tears sprang to his eyes. NO, Dave. NO. Striders don't cry. Shame on you, Dave. He shouted at himself, scrubbing his face on a red sleeve, hoping the troll didn't see.

"I'll miss you, too." Ampora said, sitting down next to him, hugging the boy close. "It's ok to be upset..."

 _youre leaving in a few weeks dumbass youre leaving and youre never coming back and its not fair!! were not supposed to make these sorts of quadranty connections with you guys because it fucks us up parents yes friends no parents are supposed to watch their kids grow up and go away thats what all the stories say friends are forever lovers are forever competition is forever quadrants go on and on and on and family is only for a little while for you guys_ he was shaking, Eridan was hugging him close, hooking his chin over his head.

"I promise I'll come back, Dave. I promise. One day I'll come back and you won't be alone. I'm not going to get another moirail while I'm gone. I won't fill another quadrant."

 _MORON theyll cull you if you dont fill a bucket then where will you be youll be dead!! you cant come back if youre dead dumbass!_ he jerked the signs out furiously, sobbing.

"Fine. I'll fake some quadrants before I come back."

_heaping pile of idiot pie_

_promises you drop from the sky_

_promising youll come back to me_

_back to a land youll never see_

_again with all these hopes and dreams_

_filling me full to burst at my seams_

_shut your fool mouth you stupid sea troll_

_do it fore you get on a roll_

_leaving me with this dumb ache in my heart_

_idiot fool you shouldnt start_

_giving me dreams i so didnt need--_

"It's ok. be upset. I'm not taking it back, Dave. I'm coming back and even if you have grubs I'm going to take you home."

_this is home dumbass humans dont leave Alternia_

"Well, you will, and whatever you're bringin' up after you." he huffed, hugging Dave, rocking him gently. "I'll take you and you won't have to bring up another grub ever!"  
\--  
Dave closed his eyes against the memory. He was human, he was eight sweeps. Eridan was seventeen by now. He'd been six sweeps when Eridan had left for the ships. It wasn't long after that that Bro had been Marched. Jake had followed after like a faithful matesprit. Dave had no way of knowing if Jake had made it to the ships.

It had been two and a half sweeps since he'd seen any of his tiny, strange family, and now he had two little wrigglers asleep on his lap, hands twisted together.

'Would you really take me and my grubs away with you, Eridan? Would you really be willing to help me take care of two little mutants? Would you break that many rules for me?' he brushed his fingers through Karkat and John's hair, sighing soundlessly as he watched the sun scrape it's angry white across the cave, behind the curtain of black fabric he'd hung, watching it try to penetrate the depths of their hide-out. 'Or has the hemospectrum gotten to you, finally, and you've realized that having a lusus for a moirail was the dumbest thing you've ever put through your moronic think-pan?'

Somewhere along the line he'd started wanting to turn 'moirail' into 'matesprit', and wound up shaking the idea out of his head every time. It wouldn't do to think on it for very long.

He'd grown to love his stupid purple sea troll...

And he'd grown to accept that he'd never see him again.

Oh well.

Eridan was too old for him anyway.

'Just keep telling yourself that. Just keep telling yourself that you're too young for him and it'll all be alright.'


	4. grubs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to [Mercale](http://mercale.tumblr.com/)

It was true that hatching caverns had luminous moss on the walls that glowed bright enough for Dolorosas to count eggs; Not bright enough to determine colour, just bright enough to determine that there were eggs there, thin shelled and vulnerable. Very much in need of their help.

Gentle jade-tinted hands lifted eggs from their hatching pools and set them into slides that lead to what was called the hatching ground--An area covered in cool, water soaked moss and thousands of eggs waiting for the right temperature for the hatching.

Sea egg and land egg alike. No one really cared until then, nor could they see what the difference between the two was, until the hatching. Even then there was the same hatching area for all. Sea dwellers had a shallow pool that land dwellers often ended up in as well.

Hatching was the challenge. The eggs cracked and grubs eeked out, squeaking and scooting around blindly for the first few weeks of their lives. That was followed by crawling through tunnels, dodging rocks and crystals made of razors that could carve open a grub, trying not to suffocate in the masses.

A black grub, apparently unremarkable save for the flapping facial appendages behind it's fleshy cheeks, stared at the egg next to it, a serious, grumpy expression on it's face.

It wasn't unusual for grubs to hatch close together and form bonds, it was, however, unusual for a grub to wait for another. He seemed impatient, and a curious Dolorosa watched from the side lines, leaning on the edge of the hatching ground.  
That egg certainly was taking it's time, it had been an hour since the sea-grub gained it's sight, and it was getting incredibly impatient. Facial fins flared, eyes narrowed, blunt teeth bared themselves in an empty threat to the unhatched grub.  
The sea-child bumped against the egg, and scooted back, watching a crack appear, grow and widen with a surprised eek and a curious chrr.

Said sea dweller, who at the moment resembled a lobster with fins, scuttled back further when it fell open to reveal a four-horned, wiggly, sparking psionic. It scooted forward, chirping in curiosity, tilting it's head at the grub that rolled out in front of it.

The elder squeaked at it, then nudged it, curious to know what was in front of him. Too young to make the similarity connections. Four milky blue eyes blinked drowsily in response, blindly seeking out the squeaking thing that held so much WARMTH.

A perigee passed. Grubs gained their own colours. The two who usually slept, moved, and ate together gained their own obnoxiously bright colours, easily seen when the psionic sparked--that only happened when he was frustrated and hungry, and amused the Dolorosas. The sea grub, who needed to sleep in water(which meant the more soaked end of the hatch grounds), after a time, became red, the four eyed four horned grub slept near him, a bubble of air maintained by blossoming psionics that tried to keep their user alive by instinct.

Drones came to heard the grubs out, squashing some in their enthusiasm to clear the caves for the next batch. Red and yellow stuck together at the center of the pack, slowing or speeding up to stay together.

Sharp rocks cut the grubs below, shrieks sending chills through the pair as they hurried through the center, sparking and snarling at the others for space and air.

Light broke ahead of them, an opening to the grub-grounds, and they fell into the pools with a loud, startling splash.

White things, terrifying and large, were scooping up their peers left and right. By the reactions of the other grubs, it was safe, they determined, to allow themselves to be removed by these creatures.

The yellow one tried to get attention. Desperate eeks and squeaks and flails of sharp little legs that went either unnoticed or ignored for the fact that there was an unnatural red beside him at the edge of the pool.

One of the white things actually did move to pick him up, but he looked expectantly down at the red troll, then up at the white thing, and squeaked insistently. He was dropped sharply, and it became clear to him that his red friend would be left behind. Alone, bereft of him if he allowed a lusus decided to take him away.

He was determined that if Red had to stay, he would stay as well, and he flopped himself over the red troll, warning away the white thing with squeaks and peeps that were designed to be intimidating (in his mind at least) and sparks of bright and pale blue that were more effective than the sounds he made.

Something big and white-ish pink leaned down. It had it's mouth pulled in what he supposed was a comforting expression, and eyes covered by something shiny and black, like the eyes of other grubs. That was somewhat comforting. It was at least not like the other white things. It's hair was close. Yellowish, much lighter than the glimpse of his body that he'd caught, but similar. It's red sleeves reminded Yellow of the finned grub that was his friend, but he didn't think his red friend would leave.

He thought that the big pinkish white thing would hurt his red friend, after all, a small number of other white things had tried to, only to be sparked at and scared away. (the red one seemed to agree until the creature began motioning to them.).  
The creature plucked up his friend, sending the yellow into a roll. He righted himself, whining as soon as the red left, he felt lonely. Denied the heat of the red grub that had been there for as long as he could remember, he couldn't sit still. There was his fishy friend.

With a frustrated and jealous peep, he crawled over to the white thing that was petting his red friend and intervened, shoving his hand up into the potentially dangerous creature, trying to make sure his red friend didn't wind up hurt. Or worse, leave without him.

They both squeaked in surprise, however, when yellow was scooped up and they were carried off. The psionic grub gaped at the creature, then twisted to maw on his friend, content that they were reasonably safe, for now. A 'white' creature seemed to want them, and their attention, and held them a little closer when they passed by one of the guards.

Whatever was going to happen, at least he and Red would be together. That was enough to content him, for now.


	5. sleep rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make a better chapter than I've ever written for WYBS before. I wound up writing a chapter that leads into a whole new chapter, rather than a re-written replacement. UvU there will be a lot of those, now. Enjoy.  
> I track the trickstersgambit, will you be striders, wybs, and reincarnationstuck tags on tumblr. For update information, check the [Reincarnationstuck](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com) blog.

Dreams were a powerful thing, for trolls. They were vivid, and often very violent. Rumour had it that dreams held every horrible thing a troll's ancestor had done or gone through in the past.

Every human learned about them in classes at the centers in their villages. Lessons taught by elder lusi who were close to the ends of their lives.

Gnarled hands spun tales of thrashing little ones splashing in the slime, or lashing out at unwary lusi who'd come too close. Dave had taken the lessons in with fifteen other blonds with eyes uncovered. The children's red-to-blue eyes of the Strider camp were wide, hands flowing into signs that promised they'd never attempt to wake wigglers from day-mares and subject themselves to the terrifying sleep rage.

Of course Dave was the first of them to ignore the promise he'd made and dive right into trying to care for a terrified troll in their sleep.

Dave's first encounter with sleep-rage was at Eridan's hand. He had two scars down the left side of his face, trailing down his jaw, and the matching set on the lower left arm, close to his elbow, from his first, ultimately unsuccessful shooshing experience.

He could remember it well, and the memory made the scars twinge as though they were fresh injuries.

The night before it occurred the violet-blooded troll seemed out of sorts, hiding in the bathroom, taking up the bath-tub. His eyes wouldn't meet anyone's, drifting off to the corner when Dave stepped around to try to meet them.

Even when the two of them went to bed that morning, curling up on the bed together the troll refused to speak to what was bothering him, though Dave could tell it was pretty big if the talkative, nosy troll was keeping quiet for more than an hour.  
They didn't have a 'coon for him. Neither he, nor his brother were old enough to have a wiggler, so commissioning one was out of the question. Even their associate, the adult who'd been tending to them since they were little couldn't help them in the acquisition. His charge was a green-blood. The government would never believe the boy had destroyed his, or needed a second, and given the boy didn't have any registered quadrants...

They were shit out of luck.

It resulted in Dave and Eridan curled up in a bed together every night.

There had been a blood curdling scream that came from the person Dave was snuggled up against that night. His red eyes shot open and the young lusus looked at the troll, brows furrowed as he leaned up on his elbows. Pale hands reached out and patted Eridan's cheek. Pain flared in his hips and spine and he gasped as he was thrown from the bed to the floor.

Stiff hands scrambled against onyx tile as Dave struggled up to his feet, set on checking on his friend no matter now much he ached. He found the bed with nervous fingers and ever bruised knees but the small human was thrown backward again, his right arm slamming into the hard tile that covered the floors in the home, a sick crack filling the room.

Yellow claws glinting in the dim light that pooled in from under the door. The trolls' eye's seemed to glow eerily in the dark, narrowed with a green sheen that made them menacing as the evil moon in the sky. His fangs flashed and Dave let out a strangled exhale that might have become a whine from fear, if his people hadn't bred sound out.

A webbed, claw tipped hand shot out and Dave's arms went up instantly, defending his face from an attack. The claw connected with thin pale flesh and everything was white hot agony. Red blood dripped on the tile, trailing from the fresh, gaping wounds that had been sliced through his right forearm and along the right side of his jaw.

The young boy curled in on himself, his right hand defending the injury, gasping sobs escaping him. Much to Dave's embarrassment, thick trails of tears were spilling down his face, forming rivulets of shame. Striders didn't cry. Not even if their wriggler bit a finger off. Not if their wriggler was culled. Not at goodbyes. He was a Strider...

He was in pain...

He wanted to be held.

He wanted his brother.

Moving his arm hurt, and pulled a broken, soundless hiccup of a sob from him.

The image of the pale human curled on the tile must have jarred the troll from his sleep-stupor because Eridan leapt forward. The motion made Dave flinch, made him curl up tighter, jarred his injuries and praise whatever gods existed that he didn't have a voice.

Eridan drew back, looking over Dave with his fins flared, worry tugging at his mouth.

"Dave. Oh shit. Oh fuckin' shit. Oh god I'm so sorry." he said softly, hauling a sheet from the bed, bunching it in his hand. He pressed a part of it to the boy's cheek, wrapped the middle around the bleeding arm, and Dave was scooped up, held against the troll with the fabric between them. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to. I promise. Please don't hate me. Oh god please don't hate me..."

The sea troll rocked Dave, arms wrapped around him carefully. It made Dave uncomfortable on one level, weirded out on another, and strangely soothed on a third. There was a strange warble coming from the troll, filling the room and echoing off the walls.

The boy could only guess that it had leaked out of the room because the door swung open and a worried pair of elders stepped in through the sun-touched hallway.

Frantic hands signed to Dave, and the boy stared at his brother in frustration while Eridan explained to the best of his ability, with strangled, stuttering words and frustrated whimpers at the accusitory glares the elder Strider was throwing him.

"I killed them." he sobbed to Jake, trying to ignore his friend getting tended to. "They were my friends and I killed them... then one of them killed me and..."

"It can't be that bad, chap. I bet you made it up." The other troll patted his shoulder, squeezing it tight.

"How do you know?" he hiccupped. "What do YOU dream about??"

The green-blood was quiet for a moment, moving to sit next to him.

"I dream about Dirk's severed head." he said softly. "Red text on a screen that says in order to save him, I have to kiss it. I see war and blood, and friends falling on a battle field, enemies falling at the end of my guns."

Dave glanced at them, then felt his head turned toward his brother.

 _I thought we taught you better_. Dirk signed, furious. He set to the task of pulling out a first aid kit. Every human-lusus had one, each packed with gauze padding, wraps, bandages and butterfly strips, elastic supports, tools to start a splint, tweezers, and old-fashioned needle and thread.

"Never wake a troll with nightmares." Jake lectured him, holding his hand lightly and carefully as he leaned over, one hand on Eridan still. "If you find them in distress and your troll isn't looking like they'll wake up, go to the other side of the room and wait them out. Don't get back on the bed. That was your first mistake, we don't want it to be your last." The troll stayed with him while Dirk cleaned him up, letting Eridan walk away and be on his own for a while.

The stitches had been painful; they hadn't had real pain killers, and he'd ached for weeks. The guilty look on Eridan's face was heart wrenching and it took weeks to get to a point where Eridan's claws no longer scared the unholy living devil-craps out of Dave.

They continued to spend nights in the same bed, but Dave found himself creeping out of the bed whenever the older boy had daymares. Eridan would look at his friend with a guilty, heart broken expression when he found Dave sleeping on the couch, curled around one of the frayed throw pillows, and make it up to him with attention.

He'd wiggle his facial fins at the boy, flicking the filmy second lid down over his eyes to get treasured silent chuckles from his pseudo moirail.

Dave would always think back to a vague would-be memory of a bubbly girl telling him about sea-troll culture, and the action having something to do with affection.

Now nearing adulthood, he still shuddered at the memory of the day-mare attack, touching the scars under his shirt-sleeve as he watched the boys toss pine-cones back and forth with little 'pchoo' sounds. He remembered similar games with his best friend and the sea troll he and his brother had finished raising, and chuckled softly.

It was late in the sweep and supplies were running low. Dave's bag was light, carrying very little more than the tent, some furs, sleeping pallets and a few spare weapons. Food was foraged, but nutrition for wigglers just out of their pupa stage was hard to maintain at this point. He needed to be able to buy and store things, and his charges still hadn't decided on a place. Not even when he laid the map out and told them to pick a place with the gentlest of expressions and signs.

Them being picky was driving him up a metaphorical wall(though he was desperately hoping for a wall to be driven up, sometime soon.) He was going to take a double back flip off the handle into the cook fires soon. Every inch of the impatient part of his mind was screaming 'PICK SOMETHING ALREADY', and it was taking every ounce of patience to prevent himself from pulling his hair and chattering his teeth in frustration.

More over, the two of them were about two perigees from turning 'one' in the troll sense of the age. One was when the horror terrors started, when the sleep-rage emerged.

One was the age every Strider was taught to fear, and Dave was no exception to the rule. Not when he was scarred from his first go-round with daymares.

He needed supplies, sure, but he couldn't take them with him without scoping the place out first. He wasn't supposed to have two wrigglers. He DEFINITELY wasn't supposed to have two MUTANT wrigglers.

He ESPECIALLY wasn't supposed to let a bright-red blooded sea troll live. That was a culling offence. Another lusus would bear down on them if they caught sight of the red tinge to Karkat's facial fins, or the webbing between his fingers, or if something happened to the boy's shirt and his gills were exposed. Dave wasn't sure if he'd be able to defend the both of them, or even survive a large lusus attacking them, if it came down to it. Not out here in the open. that was part of the downside to his wigglers not being able to make up their minds.

He worried for John, though the boy was a psionic. Their mutations were considered 'acceptable' and 'useful', however jarring the outward mutations happened to be. He'd survive, certainly, but be turned over to a schoolfeeding program for said mutations. They were described to him in a way that sounded like torture challenges that went on for years.

One sighting. One was all it took, and they'd be ended.

No. Taking John and Karkat with him for his shopping trip was too much of a risk. One he was beyond unwilling to take. Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if he'd been drawn to a different grub. If he'd chosen a different colour...

But he hadn't. He'd chosen John and Karkat, and he was determined to protect them, even if they could be loud, obnoxious, disobedient little shits.

Like right now, when he'd signed five times to try to get them to come over and sit down. There was no other choice. He smacked his hands together loudly, several times, grabbing the two troll's attention.

 _karkat we need to wet your fins and gills then get some food in the two of you and get you off to dreamland_ Dave signed quickly, and the boy heaved a heavy sigh.

"WHY? I don't want to. I'm not ready to. The sun's not even coming up yet."

 _alright then ill do it for you_ the teen grabbed the hem, stripping off Karkat's shirt. _and john i need you to use those fancy powers of yours to keep your brother safe from prying eyes can you do that for us?_

It turned out to be a question he didn't even need to ask as a flurry of leaves and needles flew around them, a look of glee on John's face as he danced the objects safely around his family. Karkat's gill fronds were brilliant, striking red, possibly visible from a distance without John's 'smoke screen', and there was nothing the human was more pleased about than his wigglers working together to make things work

The smile on John's face brought a small one to Karkat's, causing him to relax. Once the red blood was thoroughly distracted, and Dave quickly unscrewed the cap of the water bladder, squeezing a splash onto one set of fluttering, nearly-dry gills, then on the other, ignoring the squeaks and squirms that occurred immediately after.

John could be heard giggling, and the sound only got worse when Dave made certain his sea-born web-fingered child got a face full of water.

"Oh you think this is funny? You try getting drowned standing up." Karkat snapped, glaring at John, half heartedly. If he was really mad, he'd have lunged by now, and Dave knew it.

He was so glad they didn't fight, as often as they needled at each other.

 _youre going to have to sit still and get some food down monster-wigglers_ he instructed, pointing to the logs by the fire-pit. As they took their places, looking longingly at the items they'd been playing with, cast astray by John's psionics, Dave started the fire, and began the process of putting their meal together.

"Hey, Davey... Why's your skin all pinkey-white?" John ventured, watching as Dave put the spit together.

Dave glanced at the four eyed troll with a quirked brow to acknowledge the question had been asked, and put a rack, then the accompanying pot over the fire, filling it with water and the meagre bit of broth left from the last soup he'd made. The minute his hands were free, he sat back on his heels. It was time to explain the differences between trolls and humans.

 _im a lusus_ he pulled his glasses free, hooking them in the collar of his shirt. Bright red eyes blinked slowly at the young troll as his hands flowed into the next series of signs. _all lusi are some kind of white im just a little more red than the others because of my blood_

_its the same red as karkitty cat_

"Why are you a lusus?" The red-blooded sea-troll chimed in, leaning forward, ignoring the pet name in favour of getting answers.

_theres a legend that it comes from a promise my family made to the old trolls like centuries and centuries ago to explain why some humans are lusi_

_but not all humans are lusi its something you have to remember_ He explained, pausing as he made the dinner. _theres special training liniage and places youre raised involved_

"That's dumb." Karkat declared, crossing his arms.

 _its how life is_ Dave shrugged.

"But why?" John asked again, brows furrowed, all for eyes narrowed as he tried to puzzle out the information on his own, his expression shifting to one of defeat when he came up empty. They were the same questions Dave had asked as a child,the same questions Eridan had asked them. So familiar and worn.

'Oh boy...' Dave sighed deeply, reaching over to ruffle both boy's hair, lightly, just in the front. He was always careful of their horns.

 _well i guess i should start from where my brother started when i was little_ Dave mused, telling them for clarification. _once upon a time, before humans were lusi thirty two kids all under the age of seven sweeps played a game together_

_they were kids but the fate of the universe was dropped into their hands and they didnt even know it_

_they were divided into four groups and none of the groups knew each other at first_

_they all thought they were alone aside from their team mates_

_the game got really scary and all of them got hurt but they pulled through and they helped each other_

_and they all became really close so together they made four universes_

_but three of them were broken because there was one guy who meddled in the kids games_

_one universe made it through_

_but_ Dave paused, studying the wrigglers. They were rapt with attention, food forgotten in grease-slicked hands, sitting closer together. Dave knew they were imagining what he'd imagined as a child, kids just like them with weapons and armor fighting abstract monsters and winning, standing triumphantly on top of a pile of enemies

_because of the rules of the game they could only make one of their worlds_

_because there were more troll players than there were humans and the trolls had lost a lot more the humans told the trolls to make their home world_

_it was logical so logical it was scary those kids had to grow up really fast_

_the trolls promised to include humans when they were making it_

_but the trolls found out they couldnt bring the lusi that raised them if they brought the humans with them_

_so the humans promised the trolls that theyd fill the gap for them in exchange for the trolls saving their lives he paused, resting his hands in his lap._

"So, all the human became lusi?"

 _i already told you that not all humans are lusi_ Dave laughed, smiling at John, who flushed yellow and glanced at the hop-beast leg in his hands. He watched Karkat elbow John and point to Dave.

"Shut up moron, he isn't done."

"oh..."

_its ok karkat_

_be nice to john though_

_its only fair when hes not fucking with you_ he chastised. _so not all humans wanted to be lusi and the ones that werent there to make the promise resented the humans whod made their decision for them_

_so they left_

_no one knows what happened just that theyre gone_

He thought back, remembering the single girl his brother had courted when he was very young. It had to be just before he and Jake had gotten together.

"Are all humans like you?" karkat asked, tossing his bones into a pile, crossing his arms over his signless shirt.

_i think weve covered a lot we didnt really need to_

_youre trolls_

_human history doesnt matter to your life plans_

"why not?" Karkat growled. He hated being told what to think. Something picked at Dave's head and told him that he'd always hated being told how to think and that he had to follow, but accepted it when the need was there.

_because one day a sombre look crossed his face, one day my little wrigglers youll leave me and go to space with the other trolls_

_youll become part of the empirial condescension's navy and youll forget about your lusus and become big strong soldiers_

"We could NEVER forget about you, Davey!" John whined, throwing himself from the log he'd been sitting on, flinging his arms around Dave's neck. The human could feel four streams of tears crawling onto his shirt, and claws dig in to his neck like they'd be ripped apart by a strong breeze if the boy didn't anchor himself.

"We'll never forget you because you're Dave." Karkat growled and worked his way under an arm and wrapped his arms as far around the human's torso as they'd go, gripping just as tightly as his friend, pressing his face against Dave's chest.

"YEAH. You have to be the best lusus EVER. that's it. All done. All other luthi go home." Where did these kids get this stuff? He vaguely remembered blue and red text in a yellow box and over-used memes, and his heart ached suddenly. "It was an unfair, one sided competition to begin with."

The praise brought a smile to Dave's face, and he scooped them up, hugging them tight, pressing his face into their shoulders.

'They'll forget me. But I'll remember this...' he rested his head on top of their's, his cheeks pressed between their foreheads. 'No way any human could forget this...'

He flopped back on the bed roll he'd put out when they'd arrived, and cuddled the two little trolls until they fell asleep. He didn't want to leave them. He was warm, and touched by his little troll's declaration of pity.

'Trolls feel pity and anger. They don't love you, Dave. Don't ever let yourself think that a troll can love a human.' Those words had been spoken by a village elder. He didn't know what their name was, but it had worked for years, and gotten him through missing Eridan. 'They don't remember their human-lusi, or they'd come back to see them. They don't remember much about growing up, because there's so much more they need to know...' he brushed his fingers over the backs of the troll's heads, smoothing back disobedient hair.

'Jakobe pitied Dirk, and Dirk let himself think Jakobe loved him. He's probably suffering now, because Jake probably went with the drones. Jake's probably filled his quadrants by now and forgotten all about the lusus he pitied...Because pity isn't love. It's not the same.' Dave sighed, carefully unwinding the boys from his chest. He laid them out on the ground, then wrapped them in a blanket, kissing their foreheads. 'Quadrant hopping is frequent. A troll can pity you one day, and hate you the next...'

He looked at the boys, shoving his glasses down over his eyes as he pulled a big, thick maroon tent from his bag, and set it over them. It was an effective sun-shade after all. Next he pulled heavy, dark protective gear for himself, and he set about dragging camouflage over them.

'I love you. You might forget me, but you'll always be my first little wigglers, and that's so important to a human. You'll probably never understand, but...' he shoved a hand under his glasses, turning away as he wiped tears from his face. 'But I enjoy being your dad, no matter how much you fight with each other or cause problems...'

He circled his little camp, memorizing it's appearance from all angles, making sure he'd know if anything changed, then left, searching out the nearest town, running through the forest with practiced precision. If he reached town quick he could be back to camp before sun-down, when his wrigglers habitually woke themselves. They wouldn't know he was gone.

As the sun rose, the glowing trees dimmed and the pink leaves seemed to thicken, trying to get as much light from the violent sky as possible, desperate when the nights were always so much longer than the days. Sticking to the forest when traveling was always best; the trees were always so eager to get light that they'd spread across clearings to try to get more. That always made it cooler in the forest than the roads that extended past it. Heat soaked the roads, made the grass that lined them too hot to touch. Stopping for a moment would be suicide.

The white, sun reflective gear weighed heavily on the human's shoulders as he sped down the road, hoping to reach the town before his body dehydrated or the sun got too high for him to handle. If he played his cards right he'd be able to stay under cover most of the day.

Avaras, as it happened, was a town of short towers with honey comb windows and an over arching canopy of thick canvas that dimmed the area. Wires draped from building to building, awnings stretching across walk ways for extra protection.  
Clothing fluttered in the wind on racks perched on roofs. Buildings held brightly coloured signs in Terran languages, and classic Alternian. Humans walked among larger and smaller lusi as though it was nothing. Wigglers, eager to help with the day-work of their lusi, followed after lusi, carrying boxes, vases, or other supplies. They all seemed to be eagerly chattering on about one thing or another; something they learned in school feeding, something their friend said, or a person they had feelings for.

A good many of the lusi he saw had the same symbol he'd seen his brother and other friends wearing; A Cancer sign slashed in half with three drops of blood sliding down, and a hammer below sporting a Gemini symbol, super-imposed over two waves, on the center supporting square, the two pieces held together by a pair of sickles--the likes of which only a threshecutioner would use.

He vaguely remembered it being a reference to the legend of the humans' arrival on Alternia, and maybe something to do with gods? Not that he'd ever paid attention to the story of the gods, aside from the story of the Broken Knight; That one always made him feel personally wronged somehow. There might have been something about any lusi or wiggler being safe in a town that wore that sign.

It gave him an idea. The area seemed beautiful. A perfect mix of lusi and troll, and the way they worked together was perfection.

'If I could convince the boys to live near he--Lusi have no say in the location their troll decides to live.' he flinched, training and instinct kicking in. 'Right. Just get supplies, Dave.' he shook the thought out of his head, looking through the wares for the things on his list. Things he himself couldn't make.

The fact of the matter was: his kids needed clothes. They were wearing his shirts like dresses. His insignia was an odd thing to see on another person. While it gave him a nice feeling of 'I own these people. They're mine, fuck everyone.', it was still wrong. They needed to wear their own signs, and clothes that fit them properly. Pants, shoes, socks, shirts, coats. Sun gear if he could get it, so they could move further.

He saw the sign for his best friend's mothers' clothing shop and cringed away. Even if it was a satellite, the last thing he needed was to have one of them go 'Dave, you were marched? Have you settled yet? Did you settle here? Where is your house so that I might check in on you and remind you of your promise from ages ago.'

It was best to look for an alternative, even if the things he found would be a lesser quality. He'd avoid an awkward conversation and that's what he needed right then; match making parents and brothers were the last thing he wanted.  
He spotted a few clothing stalls down the street and dodged around other lusi and their wigglers, carefully picking his way over to the stands.

At the first table silk-worm Lusus and her dozing jade-troll sat behind a long table, clothes folded neatly in rows according to shades of white to black, tints from red to blue, sleeve length, cut, pants length and style. This was a good enough place to start, if anything. Even if it seemed like a Lalonde knock off.

A glance at the prices, though, said it would knock out every little bit of money he had, which sent him looking for work.

Finding the training yard was a challenge, convincing them to take him on though...

It wasn't hard, when you sported a name like 'Strider' for people to recognise you at least knew what you were talking about when it came to tools and weapons. Young humans watched with rapt attention as he signed his way through a days lesson, teaching them as a guest to earn a little side money.

The leader of the yard smiled, thanking Dave for his work, telling him he was always welcome there if he ever needed work again. Striders were hard to come by, and the best trained human Lusi to walk the planet.

GOD was it ever great to speak to an adult after months of signing to children.

Dave found himself soaking in the attention from the other person, glasses hanging on his shirt as they exchanged words. He noticed the other human motioned to the other lusi in the area.  
 _They don't sign back. If you need help..._

_no man i can handle it ive spoken with other lusi before_

_striders can handle themselves pretty well_

_havent you heard??_ Dave allowed himself a cocky grin, and nodded thanks to the other human.

Money settled in his palm, but he'd still need to barter. Some lusi saw no meaning in the troll's copper and silver coins. All he had were his weapons and a few supplies from home. Nothing really fascinating, or worth anything to anyone but him, aside from a few pelts and maybe work around the hive that a lusus without hands wasn't capable of.

He moved to the silk-worm lusus' kiosk, using his teeth, tongue, handsand fingers to imitate the growling and clicking language of Alternia's true lusi. The sound came out awkwardly, but it was passable as language, as far as most lusi were concerned.

They always gave humans strange looks when they saw them exchanging signs rather than sounds. There was talk of a time when the signs were seen as a sort of witch craft by other lusi, until they started learning to read them. It was still better for a human to imitate the more 'traditional' sort, rather than expect them to understand a sign.

"is it possible to get a pair of blanks? my charge has yet to decide where to settle, thus has no sign." Formal, he imagined. Clumsy, most certainly.

"I can give you tape and paint jars for when they've chosen, for the standing months before commissioned pieces arrive." the worm answered, her charge stirring slightly beside her, settling in against the curve of her body. It was clear to Dave that this wasn't the other lusus' first rodeo, despite the troll being around the same age as his own wrigglers. She ignored the shifting and continued speaking. "What colour would you need?"

Dave frowned, thinking about the bright primary colours the two of them sported, and sighed. Even worse, the way the paint had to be gotten... It wasn't hard coming up with a reason to deny the offer, surprisingly.

"As much as I appreciate the suggestion, I believe we shall be traveling for quite some time. As such, it is quite possible that the paint will spoil or dry on the trip. However, I wouldn't be opposed to trading for a few pieces. You know how young wrigglers are. I have given him my own clothes, but I've found more holes in them than a human can wear with any sense of decency." him not them. No one needs to know you're breaking the rules.

"Ah, not being human, myself, I can only imagine the difficulty involved for you." it nodded, motioning to the clothes. He tried not to take it personally. Most lusi assumed humans weren't capable of the same feats as the others, based on the thin skin and the short life-spans.

Dave eyed a few pieces, selecting a variety of black and grey shorts and jeans that looked like they'd fit interchangeably between the boys, for now. He couldn't help eyeing two pairs of grey shoes, and tapped his chin, mentally measuring the boy's feet.

They'd been walking for so long that they were going to start suffering real injuries that the sandals he'd bought them when they pupated wouldn't be able to prevent.

"Two pairs of those, as well, please?" he motioned when he finished speaking motioning the size with both hands. "like this."

They were added to the pile and Dave went looking for tops. Turtlenecks were imperative, hoods. Sleeves weren't necessary, John often complained and rolled his up, but Karkat liked long sleeves.

"Three sweaters, with hoods, black, as well as sleeve-less hooded shirts, all with pockets, if you would? He's too young for Sylladex Modi." he inwardly cringed. Lusi weren't meant to have two wrigglers. It was difficult referring to one of them when he was trying to fill orders for two.

"Well prepared, are we?"

"Well he is a messy little thing." he thought on John, frowning softly. He was the one he'd be able to claim on paper, and by far the most messy child Dave had ever had the displeasure of cleaning up after. What would the boy be like when he finally had a room to tend to? Karkat was, by far, the more organized and tidy of the two, but they were still young, and both still somewhat clumsy with their hands and food. "If you can recommend detergent, as well, perhaps other supplies that make cleaning fabric easier, when traveling?"

The conversation was terrifyingly domestic, and it made the part of him that was still a child sit up and nag at him.

The clothes were purchased, traded for some dark fur-beast pelt he'd managed from the last two trappings, and he headed about the rest of his business.

New pots and pans, a better set of sleeping pallets, an actual sylladex for himself, rather than a backpack, a tub of dried sopor that could be mixed in to food, in small doses to fend off the worst of the nightmares until they were settled, were traded for hive work for the next five days. He didn't suppose it would change anything if they stayed put for a while--maybe bartered for a room at the training yard to avoid sleeping in the forest in the open?

He held his depleted coin purse in one hand and looked in a shop that smelled of spices and was lined with a wall of candies, and another of chilling-boxes. Thinking back to the bland meals they'd been sharing recently, he couldn't help but step in. It wouldn't hurt to add a little to oomph to their meals.

Dave plucked up a hand-carried basket and let his nose guide him through the store, pull him to spices he remembered being told came from Terra, and others that were native. Pre-made mixes in colourful packets sat in wicker baskets on metal rack-shelves that clung to walls. Wooden baskets of vegetables grown in fields outside the town were perched in a center isle, begging to be plucked up and taken to wigglers for 'exceedingly low prices' and 'the best rates in town'.

Soon enough boxes, jars, packets and bags, fruits and vegetables, and farm grown meats were tucked into his basket--then a second one for new water bladders, little bags of candies.

A sighting of chilled roe cubes made him grin. The last time he'd been shopping he'd brought back a small package of them for Karkat, and the boy had made chirping and cooing noises the whole evening as he snacked. They were a thing he could take into water with him, and be able to eat without a problem.

They dropped neatly into the second basket and he brought all of that to the register, setting them on the belt for the cashier, who he gave a toothy grin to.

"I also need to find out what is needed for a young psionic. I am afraid his powers are going to prove to be something of a problem." Dave said to the Lemur-like vending lusus who's rust-charge he'd seen sweeping along the back wall earlier.

"Roe, for a psionic?" the creature tilted his head and snorted as he rang up each item in the cart, preparing them to be captcha'd or bagged.

"No, they're for someone else. I really DO need to know more about psionics. My village didn't teach much about it. I don't think they expected anyone to get a psionic since they're usually taken by two-something'd lusi..."

The vendor pointed him toward a dozing troll with hetero-chromial blue and violet eyes and four horns, two twisted together on either side of her head. Beside her was a large, aging, two headed ferret-lusus.

"That lady over there comes from a line of lusi of psionic wrigglers." he took the payment and waved Dave off as though he didn't have time for him, in spite of the store being nearly empty. There was a book beside the register that the lemur reached for as the human stepped away, and by the lettering on the cover, it was probably religious text. It was then that Dave noticed a sign hanging in the window by the door. The cancer-and-hammer that the town's lusi were wearing, and, in four different terran languages, as well as low Alternian: "Followers Welcome"

The human made his way over to her, stowing the supplies, food, gummies and cubes in different cards.

"Pardon me, ma'am. Would you pay me the kindness of assisting me?" he tried. Elder people, especially elder Lusi who were preparing to go with their wiggler to whatever job they had, preferred formality, right? They often considered themselves to be 'better' than humans, or 'suffered' platonic pity for them. They maintained connections with their charges throughout their wiggler's lives, while Humans were so short lived that it was better they stayed on the planet, as far as Trolls were concerned.

"oooh A human. What a sad little accent." the lusus laughed in the rolling, squeaking way of her type class. She had the cancer-hammer hanging around one of her necks. "What can I help you with, Wiggling-Lusus?"

Dave fought the urge to snap. He didn't like being called a child, in any form, especially now, given that he was old enough to tend to children himself. The young human allowed himself a moment, indulging himself in low, slow deep breaths.

"I have recently chosen to take a psionic wriggler as my first grub." he explained, trying to loosen the tension from his shoulders. "However, it has been quite some time since my colony has taken a psionic and returned with tales of them. I need to know how to handle him, and I was told that you would know how."

"If you didn't know how to handle him, why did you take him?" She snorted haughtily, as though there was no way a person could do something so stupid and possibly live with themselves long term.

"I stood by patiently, and I noticed him. He was being ignored by other lusi. I was waiting for more capable people to make their choices, and he was just...there. Ignored and seemingly unwanted. It made my heart break." he shrugged, watching her. His words got the reaction he needed. The understanding smile, dual nods and some relaxation in the haughty tension she seemed to sport.

"You'll need a suppressant, and you'll have to teach him to recognise mind honey so no stranger accidentally doses the poor shit." she pulled out two separate jars. One blue, the other gold. Dave had to fight not to smile or smirk. Those were John's colours.

The image of a long, trailing blue hood and bright yellow shoes, and a brightly coloured hammer entered his mind, accompanied by a shriek and splattered bright red blood, and he had to shake his head to clear the image away.

"Which is which?"

"Self explanatory, I should think. Gold is always energy, blue is always calm."

Dave frowned at the elder lusus as she spoke, and sighed.

"What do I owe you?"

"On the house dear. My name is Narrissa. You can contact me via my charge's trollian if you need help. I trust you have access?"

"I will shortly."

"Look for twistedLuminosity, if you have trouble. Tell her you're looking for me, and we'll get out to you."

"Thank you Narrissa." he frowned, shifting foot to foot. "I'm Dave Strider, the Sixteenth." She might have thought he was his uncle, if he hadn't said anything.

"Good luck, youngest strider." she laughed softly. "You're on your own, for the next psionic, if you choose to go down that road again."

He cringed, thinking on those words. 'Again' wasn't something he thought himself capable of doing just then. 'Again' was a big word that meant there was an 'after these trolls', and reminded him that John and Karkat would leave. It was something he didn't want to think about. How did other humans even deal with that feeling?

"Thank you again, Narrissa." The jars had the same symbol he was seeing everywhere. He'd have to press his brother for information. He needed to know exactly what it meant.

"And work on your diction. I understand you're human, but that growl imitation could use some work." He could tell she was teasing; both heads were smiling, leaning in to look at him, winking. It was very strange hearing the echo though.

"Yes ma'am." he nodded, captchaloging the jars. They settled in neatly next to the candies and he sighed. It was going to be a long week, and an even longer few years. "I guess I'll be speaking to you again soon enough."

With that seen to, he breathed a sigh of relief and walked back toward the training ground to. He'd get a room while he was trading work. There wasn't much chance of the boys making their minds up any time soon.

The conversation with the owner was awkward. He stumbled over explaining why he had two wigglers to tend to, why they were still traveling, rather than settled somewhere with a lock on the door and a couple of 'coons.

The hardest part was grazing over the part where he had such a vast difference in charges. One belonged in the water with a fish for a lusus, after all.

With a room set up and an arrangement made, Dave turned and made for the entrance to the bazaar, unpacking his sun-gear, pulling it on as he stepped out into the heat of the dying Alternian day. It was time to go back to his wrigglers.

It was cooling off, the road was no longer sporting the strange waves of heat that always made his eyes go fuzzy when he tried to make them out and the sky was just turning to the muddy green and pink of the dual moons. The ground beneath his feet no longer soaked through his boots as he made his way down the beaten track.

A glance past the hood of his sungear told him that the grass was stretching as far as it could, as if sentient, to try to catch the last of the suns rays as the dark of night slowly overtook his part of the world. Rustlings in the grass spoke to smaller animals, possibly Terran in origin, waking from their day-slumber.

The human paused to appreciate the view. The grasses seemed to take on a look of oceans, waving in the breeze in front of froth-like pink and lavender trees. Cultivated fields took slices out of the plains.

His minds' eye super imposed a city of square buildings with very uniform, square windows, asphalt roads and boxy vehicles. Then brushed all that aside for lakes of lava, empty metal structures, gears and a record-platform. He shook them off and adjusted his glasses, then started back on his way to the camp.

The closer he got, the faster he moved. Trees flashed past as he darted and dodged through them. Water barely stirred as he darted over the river. The camp was up ahead, but he circled around it, slowing down, looking for signs that anyone had been near. He wanted to be absolutely certain nothing had been compromised.

Fur of a small Terran rabbit was caught on the branches of a bush, a piece of bark had been pulled free by something one hundred yards from his tents.

Satisfied with the state of the surroundings, he stepped into camp, circling the dark dome. It hadn't moved, but there was an eerie sort of feeling in the area.

Whimpers came from beneath the thick fabric, chilling him. Had he left them too long? Was something in there with them? Was someone awake and afraid? Was it too hard to breath? They had air cycling mechanisms built into the side of those things, so that couldn't be it.

He gripped the branches and rocks he'd used to weight and hide his little tent and shoved them away, flipping the tent back.

It didn't look like anything too out of the ordinary. No one was physically hurt. Nothing had gotten in... but... John was curled up with his back to a soundly sleeping Karkat. Sparks were flying around his horns and he was sobbing yellow tears.

"Karkat, no. Don't take him. don't. You'll." he was shuddering, and sobbing in his sleep. "don't kill him... So--"

Dave's heart wrenched and he swept the boy up in his arms, rocking him gently, reminders of the past flying out of his mind as he moved. He brushed the boy's hair back from his eyes and moved to dry his tears,

"Shhhhhhhhh. Shhhhh" he wished he could speak. He wished he could sooth him the way he wanted to-and then the first sticks struck his forehead, sparks dancing violently along his limbs. He gaped, looking down at John, and the feral look on the boy's face.

John's eyes were narrowed and blank, teeth bared in a snarl. Young, sharp claws snapped out, knocking the sunglasses from Dave's face, leaving tracks in his skin that came dangerously close to his left eye. A new pair to match the two that sat on his face already.

He let John go with a startled gasp, scrambling back to press a still-gloved hand to his cheek.

Still gloved.

SHIT. The white fabric that covered him must have been a terrifying thing for the child to see, especially pulling out of whatever nightmare he must have been going through. Even worse when he'd been taught trolls feared strange lusi. What must have John seen?

He quickly stripped the gear off, pressing a bare hand to the wound. His head turned to the other wiggler, running through the possibilities. John was in panic mode. Karkat could be hurt, exposed by his brother's sleep-driven fears.

The lusus threw himself toward the boy, bracing his body over him as things continued to fly around the camp. Sticks and rocks pummelled him. He could hear something heavy lifting off the ground behind him.

Clumsy fingers patted at the boy's dry cheeks, trying to wake him. He shook him, snapping his teeth for the sound, hoping that anything would catch his attention and rouse him from sleep.

"nnnn dad too early." the boy grumbled, cracking his eyes the barest he could manage and still see. Just enough to give his lusus an condemning glare.

Dave tried not to show the pain he felt as a log hit his back, but it was plain as his brows and cheeks tensed. He wasn't wearing his glasses. There was no hiding anything at that point. John continued flinging things their direction, aiming for the human's back. He could feel welts rising and cuts starting to bleed. Below him, the wiggler was studying him, looking at his expression, falling to the wound.

"Dad? Dad why is your cheek cut?" Karkat reached to touch it. Dave batted his hand away and narrowed his eyes, mouthing 'Run!' praying his kids spoke well enough to read lips and know what it looked like.

"What? Dad--"

'Rrrr-UN' he tried again, curling his tongue for emphasis, looking between Karkat and the tree line.

 _hide there get soon go_ He leaned up just enough to manage the quick sign, keeping himself spread wide enough to defend the child.

Karkat got the idea, finally, and scrambled out from under him, throwing the blankets behind him as cover while Dave shoved himself back up, spreading his arms to defend Karkat's retreat.

Sticks, stones, leaves, logs, branches, anything at hand became weapons in the distraught troll's grasp, psionics flinging everything he could at the human, the perceived threat. Something that hadn't resembled his lusus, and in his mind's eye, still didn't.

The ancient, long surpressed Terra born instincts told Dave to disable the troll by any means necessary. To grab and pin, smack and slap and snarl... His Alternia trained instincts made him want to protect, to collect and hold and sooth, and tell the troll that nothing was his fault. There was no way he'd be able to protect collect and sooth if he didn't manage to calm the little shit down though.

Dave had to work at integrating the Terran instincts, forcing himself to think about methods that could disable the boy without harming him. He remembered the jars of honey and jelly, gold and blue. In a pinch he could use that, couldn't he? The trick would be remembering which card it was on the new modus system.

He dodged debris as he worked out the system, spinning through the cards at his side, fingering the holographic displays, touching the one that came up with the cancer-hammer lids. The jars fell neatly into his hands and a glance told him the blue was in his right.

A step to the side, two steps back, five forward, the gold jar captcha'd and his boy pinned to the ground under his body and it was nearly over. Not for the first time, he wished he could whisper comforting words.

"Shhh shhhh shhh." he repeated, carefully opening the jar with one hand, smoothing his fingers through john's hair with the other, trying to ignore the angry thrashing and violent sparks that felt like fire on his skin. A nudge of the lid, once it was open, and he dipped his pinkie finger into the blue gel.

"RAAA" sparks continued to fly, making him feel like his skin was going to boil off, and the human struggled to keep his grip, shoving his finger in the boy's mouth. The teeth made him cringe. The boy might sport a pair of big, blunt teeth in the front, and lisp like hell, but the rest of the teeth were clustered together, sharp and dangerous. A wrong move and he'd lose his fingers. Dave rubbed the gel over the length of the boy's tongue, hoping he wasn't going to lose something in this endeavour.

Moments passed. The lusus pushed John's tongue away from his teeth with a finger and John tried to spit it out, managing to swallow it instead.

As the sparks died down and the psionic winds fell, the little boy began to come back to himself. Tiny brows drew together, eyes screwed up tight, barely open as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

"Davey-dad?" he rasped, the sound awkward. His tongue was numb. Why was it numb. "Dad, why is your cheek bleeding?"

Dave shook his head, hugging him. It didn't matter that he was hurt, banged and bruised. His wrigglers were safe. He lifted his head, eyes searching out Karkat.

The boy was storming out of the tree-line. Webbed hands snatched up the ancient glasses as he marched over to them.

"WHAT THE EVER PITYING FUCK WAS THAT? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OUR LUSUS YOU MORON! IS YOUR THINK PAN BROKEN?"

"what?" Dave had never heard John's voice so small and meek, and he hugged him all the more tightly.

"YOU ATTACKED DAVE." he snarled. "PUT A LEASH ON YOUR FUCKING PSIONICS BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEONE. YOU THROW THEM AROUND LIKE THEY'RE A TOY BUT THEY'RE DANGEROUS. YOU'RE DANGEROUS JO--"

Dave reached out and grabbed Karkat by the collar, pulling him into his arms.

"Shhhhhhhhhh. shhh shhh shhhh." he soothed, rocking them both, nuzzling in between them. It didn't matter what happened to him so long as they were alright, and here they were. He'd gotten them both out of it safely, hadn't he?  
Dave looked at Karkat, studying the boy for injury, then turned his attention to John, giving him the same once over.

"Daddy, daddy are you ok?" they were both looking at him.

Dave hadn't even realized he'd been crying until the salty water hit the cut on his cheek, burning the wound. They both looked so concerned, and it seemed like such a strange look on either of their faces.

In his minds eye he saw a taller, fin-free red-blood, and a dark haired blue eyed human with a grin that almost hurt to look at, both so similar to his wigglers, but so different. The determined, angry look on the troll's face as he ranted at the human, and the affectionate, sort of roguish grin on the human's own... Their faces were lined with a life time of concern, for still being so young and--

"You hurt him, John. Of course he isn't ok." Karkat snapped, and Dave came back to himself, looking at them with a sigh of resignation. They were going to fight for the rest of the night, he could already tell.

"I would never hurt Davey! Never ever ever ever! He's our Daddy! Our LUSUS." John's lisp made his words come out with spatterings of spit that would normally have made him giggle, but now he was too worked up.  
Dave shook his head at them, hugging them both close.

"Shhhhh." It was the only sound he could make that would get their attention.

Soon enough, Dave had the both of them settled in front of him, three feet apart.

 _its called sleep rage_ He explained in careful, short signs. _it happens when a troll is woken from a horror terror dream_

The human watched them both, waiting for it to sink in, waiting for them to understand. He saw it dawn on John first. Watched the guilt and angst grow in the boy and cringed, hating himself for it. The sparks that usually came with the emotion, however, weren't present.

"You knew..." John tried, voice soft.

 _i knew about it but i still wanted to hold my little wriggler and comfort him through his bad dream_ Dave agreed.

"So it's not this fuckin nookstain's fault?"

 _karkat! dont call john that! its fucked up_ He berated the troll, wagging a finger at him for good measure. The image of the elder troll and the human entered his mind again, and he thought he heard an echo of a good natured laugh as the human brushed off the insult.

Was he losing his mind?

_family doesnt get to insult each other like that in any seriousness and dont say you didnt mean it i read faces like green bloods read record books_

Karkat had the decency to look sheepish, and muttered a deflated apology to his lusus-mate.

_and no john this wasnt your fault_

_i was stupid_ he motioned, a gentle look on his face. John hiccuped and crawled into his lap, clinging to his chest. The little troll, who was growing to remind him of someone he could almost remember, was breaking his heart. How could he ever think this was his own doing?

Dave smiled sadly, brushing his fingers through the boy's hair, trying to smooth it down. They were all going to need baths. He had to clean up his wounds, get the boys soaked and scrubbed and on the road toward the city that night, or they'd be trapped in the forest the next day and that was the last thing he wanted.

It was a pleasant surprise when Karkat wormed his way in and hugged the still upset John with a grumbled 'it's ok' and claws scraped in circles down the young psionic's back.

It took a while, but he managed to get John settled, and a short while later, the both of them ate their breakfast. The evening ritual of changing clothes and getting ready for the night started shortly after.

 _karkat you have to wear this_ Dave handed a hooded shirt to him, watching as he pulled off the record shirt, replacing it in the awkward way of small children. Dave helped him pull the hood up and pop his horns through the holes, tugging thecords to tighten it over his head so he could hide his fins. _there_

 _now we can get you safely through town_ he handed over shoes and a pair of shorts with a relieved sigh.

"Why the ever loving fuck are we going to town? I thought you said towns were the worst idea ever." the boy questioned, crossing his arms over his chest, watching as Dave started John through the same process, leaving the other boy's hood down until they could get it customized.

 _were going to town because i have to pay off some debts that came up when i went shopping today_ the teen explained, then tied the boy's shoes. were only going to be there about a week

_youll like it youll meet a lot of other kids and trolls your age_

He put them to work cleaning up the camp and gathering their belongings, which earned whines from John, who was used to having the psionics to support him. The whole chore was laced with superimpositions of the human and elder troll doing similar tasks in an older setting, throwing more adult insults back and forth. The nostalgia was painfully tangible, and Dave was growing more and more concerned that he was losing his mind.

Their belongings were carefully folded and packed into the cards, and Dave urged the two of them toward the road, watching them dart around, playing in the grass as they moved back toward the town.

It turned out that the training compound was the above ground aspect of the local human village, populated by about fifty people, both adults, current lusi and elders.

The room they'd gained was a guest space on the first level, with a slim window at the top of one wall, barely big enough to be considered a room at all, and certainly not big enough to support a 'coon. Dave suspected it was designed to urge guests to keep their visits short so as not to be strains on the economy, or something weird like that.

Meals had to be eaten above, with the rest of the children, which was just as well. That morning Dave wound up helping serve dinner, his wigglers seated beside human children who were close to their ages. From his space at the top of the room he could hear John chattering away amongst the clattering of silverware on ancient bowls. He had the attention of four little humans, all of them grinning as they signed.

He couldn't follow the conversation completely, but he imagined John was telling them the plot to one of his action movies, and damned if the kids didn't seem excited by it.

The Lusus remembered to add sopor to the boys soup, dosing them each with a quarter of a tea-spoon of the drug, mixing the dried, crumbled green in carefully, cringing as it changed the colour of the food just slightly. He closed his eyes and begged the forgiveness of the gods for this.

Watching them grow drowsy close to sunrise without being prompted was a blessing. He pulled the thick curtain and settled them in to the bedding, wrapping them in their blankets with a little sigh as he settled beside them, draping an arm over them ever so carefully, staring at the door. They might be in a human safe location, but it didn't mean his mutant wigglers were completely defended.

On the table was the container of sopor, and he glared at it.

'Just until they've chosen a location and can sleep in recoupercoons... Just until then. I promise.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter six will be available Friday, October 26, 2012. It's an edited chapter and is an estimated 3k words at the moment. Expect another long one.


	6. The order given at the end of the Suffering Knight, Jovial Heir, All-Seeing Mage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wound up putting two chapters from two different points in the story together because I thought they'd flow nicely together. Thoughts?

The end of the trio would come to be called the Rebirth of Sufferests among those who remembered the Signless and his friends. The youth would begin to call it 'the fall of the heros', or the end of the Suffering Knight, Jovial Heir, and the All-Seeing Mage. All Karkat could call it right then was fucked up.

He'd been caught trying to free psionic slaves. In retrospect, when you go to free psionics, perhaps it was a good idea to BRING Psionics WITH YOU.

The word had come in that psionics were being stolen, caged and used as disposable batteries for ships. 'Washed' and used as weapons for the army. Karkat had been the one to respond, taking a group of rebels in with him.

He hadn't known he'd brought a spy. He hadn't known they were in contact with the Condesce, or that the minute he had the gate opened and the gold-blood half-washes out of the cells, they'd been bombarded.

The psionics had been dosed; Dampener was flowing through their veins, making them useless for the fight, leaving Karkat and his rebels to tend to their safety.

Blasters fired, sickles swung and...

Karkat wasn't seen at home for days afterward.

John would have liked to say 'days of planning went into this rescue mission'. He'd have liked to, but that would be a lie. He hadn't been planning, he'd been clinging to Sollux and Dave and trying not to fall apart.

Everyone said breath players were cool and collected. He didn't FEEL cool and collected. He was angry, and scared. He didn't know what had gone wrong. How could a rescue mission go so bad so quickly when someone was a GOD?

The heroes, stood staggered in the forest, among the troupes they'd brought with them. John stood at the front, motioning the others forward with a barely shaking hand. His emotions were reigned in, and he was back in control.

"Equius...hang back a sec." John said, as firmly as he could to the troll as he passed. He knew it would make the troll stop. Sure enough the other boy did, turning to look down at the human leader, eyes wide behind cracked lenses.

"Yes, John Egbert?" John could tell he was glancing to spot Nepeta. He would keep an eye on his moirail, too, if he was a troll.

"I'm going to give you an order." John looked him in the eye, lifting his chin, dwarfed by the nine-sweep-old troll. "It's a long one, and I expect it to be followed to the letter regardless of whether or not I'm here to see it through. Got it?"

"What... would this order be?" Equius was sweating worse than ever, and John pulled a towel from his stack modus, holding it out for him. A shaking hand took the item gently from the breakable human's and he patted his face dry.

"My order is this: You will defend the others, and keep them alive. To do this you must keep yourself alive. If you enter a battle and it turns sour, you will pull the troupes and regroup. You are not to go until the last of us is gone, do you understand?" It was probably the cruelest order ever uttered by anyone, but John hoped the troll would forgive him, and be strong enough to see it through.

"Y-yes, highblood." Equius said, and sounded as though his heart was in his throat. "If I may ask?"

"You may."

"Why are you giving orders like these?"

"They have my matesprit in there, chained to a block. I'll save him, or I'll die with him. I want to know that no one will go down as senselessly as Terezi did, and I know you're strong enough to protect them. I trust you. Keep them safe from drop attacks. OK?"

"A...Alright."

"Let's go." John motioned forward, spinning through a cycle of hammers, searching for the right one. He nodded to Sollux, and the gate was flung up. The heroes had their entrance. It was time to go!

"For the crime of bein' a fucked up MUTANT." the empress was shouting, pacing on her dias. "Inciting a rebellion...You'll die. You'll die in the sun, baked bright red and crispy. And those friends you said would come?"

'Past Karkat you're a fucking IDIOT. You got caught. You got blooded. You're an idiot. I hate you and I'd kill you myself.'

He was dwelling, trying to focus on the pain and not the shame of being stripped down and chained up...and then... All of this. He could hear her droning on but...

"KARKAT." John shrieked, slamming a fire red hammer into the face of one of the trolls trying to block him from the proceedings. "KARKAT STOP LISTENING TO THEM. OVER HERE. LOOK OVER HERE."

Karkat's grey eyes, barely threading with red at his young age, turned to look toward the sound of the humans voice. He caught sight of blond and brunet humans, horns of varying styles, all trying to push past the guards posted at the gate.

Shouts and snarls and angry cries of indignation rose from the group.

He met eyes with the indigo blood that was his moirail. They'd never finalized it. It hadn't seemed important. He'd even laughed when Sollux had insisted on finalizing the bond between himself and the buck-toothed human. Now he had no idea if he'd get a chance.

No.

He knew he'd never get a chance.

Past Karkat was a moron and this was just another point where he could pull it out and show it off, shouting to the universe 'this guy did dumb shit.'

Maybe this was the universe laughing at him instead.

Over the roar of the crowd, the shrill shrieks of his friends being held back Karkat could hear the booming voice of the grand highblood. The clear words that shouldn't have been. He remembered Kurloz Makara. Knew they'd have tied together like everyone else did. Even fussy fins had become redeemable after they'd crossed into the world...

"FOR THE CRIME OF BEIN' A MOTHERFUCKIN REBEL AND FUCKIN' HARD AS SHIT TO KILL--" Makara started, fangs flashing as he spoke, standing up properly.

A gust of wind finally bowled the guards over, and John let it carry him over them, to Karkat. Red and blue sparks could be seen holding the guards in place, preventing a chase.

Karkat's best friend and lover had come for him, the way these idiots had said they wouldn't. John planted himself on the platform before the Condescension and the highblood, hammer firm and tight in his hands. Hovering in the air behind him was his moirail, the yellow-blooded psionic.

"Finish that sentence." John growled the warning. The sound sent chills down Karkat's spine. He'd never heard the human sound more feral. He watched John pace, his hood looped up around his shoulders, hammer in his hands gripped with pale hands on a red and ash handle. "I dare you. Those words will make you sorry for the rest of your existence."

It wasn't as arousing as he thought it would be, or maybe the situation was the stopper on that. If they survived it, he intended to find out.

"you're sentenced to--"

The hammer swung again, smashing into the belly of the high-blood with all the force a top-tier god could muster-a lot, really. His father would be proud, Karkat mused. He could see the psionic sparks on the weapons around them and could guess the other troll's plot.

The monstrous troll grunted, falling backward off the podium, reaching for a balancing tool. John stepped back, whipping his hood out of the reach of the troll before he could get it, a sneer on his lips. He brought himself up in the air, pointing his hammer at the Condesce, blue eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses.

"THIS IS WRONG. This is a crime against the gods. THE TRUE GODS." he snarled, muscles tense, the air whipping through the arena. "You'd attack a guy who's never ONCE laid a hand on you? Harmed your subjects beyond self defense? Just because he BLEEDS wrong? Has some really REALLY good ideas? GOSH Where the FUCK did we go WRONG with you?" his tone held the disappointment of a parent, the protectiveness of a lover who'd expected to spend all their years with the one they loved, and the ANGER of someone who'd worked too hard on something, and was seeing it crumble before them.

"Bleeds wrong? Good ideas?" the woman laughed, spinning her weapon between her fingers, eyeing him out of the corner of her eye. Karkat was reminded of a dead troll who got excited over fish puns, and felt an ache, missing that young troll. He watched as John snarled, darting toward her, swinging his hammer at her culling fork.

"GOOD IDEAS. REALLY good ones! Equality is a GREAT thing! You just got your head screwed on the wrong way. Who told you that we couldn't all work together on the same level to the same goal?" There where whispers in the crowd, and Karkat knew John was making people think.

John didn't catch the look she gave the executioner, Karkat did, but they both heard the twang. John threw himself in front of harms way, protect his lover.

The arrow burrowed white hot into his chest, sending him flushed against Karkat.

"YOU IDIOT. JOHN EGBERT YOU FUCKING MORON." he shrieked, staring at John with tears welling in his eyes. "FUCK. JOHN. YOU'D BETTER NOT FUCKING DIE YOU BULGE MUNCHING ..... you beautiful, pathetic, moronic human" he whispered, sobbing.

Red eyes fixed on blue, and John gave him a weak little smile.

"Don't die John. Please. Not for me. They still need you!" he insisted, feeling the touch of wind as it wrapped the god-hood around them, holding John to him when their arms couldn't. "I love you, Karkat. Completely. Totally. Absolutely homo. one hundred percent karkat-sexual." he whispered, smiling at the troll, reaching up weakly to touch one of Karkat's horns. "No matter what, we'll be together...I can't get you out of here, but I can go-" he coughed. "I can go with you."

"Grubfucking moron." he ground out, glaring at John,

"Yeah-yeah, fuckass." John shot back, causing Karkat's expression to soften to affection. Three more arrows in Rapid fire succession brought the two of them back to the moment at hand, both of them gasping as they were buried under their flesh.

"NOW motherfuckers." somewhere among their friends was an angry, drowsy honk, objecting to the use of the word. "YOU'RE GONNA DIE IN THE SUN. you mother fucking infidels."  
Gamzee's ancestor was terrifying, to most, but John and Karkat couldn't find themselves caring.

"At least we're dying together..."

"AND YOU'D BETTER BET WE'LL BE BACK FOR YOU FUCKASSES." Karkat lashed out, heat surging down the chains at his wrists once more, unable to be abated by his lovers soothing winds.

John just didn't have the energy for it.

He was too tired.

THEY were too tired.

Sollux watched them from the side lines, slipping off behind the rock, knowing what was coming. He and John had discussed this before they'd come. He knew they wouldn't make it out of this alive.

John did his best to twine himself around Karkat, both of them feeling the sun's touch as it rose over the hills that hid the arena.

John sobbed in pain as the light caught Karkat's eyes, burning them violent red and milk within minutes, searing his back. The screams stopped as the arrows finally did their job, making sure their lungs filled with fluid, flying true on red and blue sparks.

Before the sun could bake them there was a snap of electricity, the crack of clubs, of fists, of a cane, the twang of arrows, clink of swords and claws and other weapons.

"I'll see you on the other side." Karkat whispered, and John nodded.

They knew what their friends were doing. Anything that could be used as a projectile was shot forward in merciful alternating currents of red and blue, smashing in to the knight, heir, and the mage behind the rock that held them, sparing them a long death.

The other remaining heroes would face a hell of a time. They'd fall, of course. All they knew, at that moment, was peace and relief.

Sweeps and sweeps passed.

Twenty five since Terezi's fall. Twenty four since the trio.

Equius Zahhak had watched his friends fall over and over again. He'd seen blood of every colour spill on the ground. Aradia, Nepeta, everyone he dared care about had left him behind. He had fulfilled the order he had been given, and then some, living past the last hero's death to see the growth of the generations of humans and trolls that would carry their legends.

He was alone. Maintaining the Hero's Vault, hidden deep beneath the Dolorosa's caverns. In a well hidden cave were all the glasses, strife specibi, and sylladex, held in a case, supported on velvet pillows.

All of them except Equius' own.

"I have no one left to protect, save myself. Highblood." he whispered, speaking to ghosts he wished he could still see. Dream bubbles were things of the past. Figments from the game they'd stolen their way out of. Gifts given by Horror terrors who no longer offered them their protection.

"Today is my last stand. May I meet you all on the other side." He lifted his glasses off, placing them in the case with the other precious items.

Precious items rested on pillows, lined up neatly in pairs. Red tear glasses and a dragon cape, John's thick framed glasses with a sufferer's pendant wrapped around them, a ratty rabbit doll, Sollux's red-and-blue glasses resting on a print-out of their private chat-progam's code. One of Tavros Fiduspawn sets. Jade's lunch-top and wide round glasses. One of Gamzee's bicycle horns. Vriksa's glasses and a magic 8 ball, Nepeta's hat and coat. Feferi's jewellery. Aradia's dinged up hat, ratty, but he was so fond of it... Dave's sunglasses and a chipped record, Dirk's auto-responding sunglasses sitting frame to frame with a pair of wire-framed, square spectacles, and an orange ball-cap, a green button down shirt. A martini glass, a wizard-cat doll, a pair of oval glasses, a sewing machine, a bolt of fabric, balls of yarn, a double-u shaped, green-plastic magnet. Roxy, Jane, Kanaya, Rose.

They'd been gone for sweeps, leaving him to his thoughts, to his work, to his organization of the last of the rebellion. The thought of carrying on like that made him ache.

Equius shuddered, nestling his glasses next to Nepeta's items, sighing softly. He'd out lived his moirail. He shouldn't have been able to do that, but like the high-blood before him, he'd never tied himself to her, never sworn the oath.

They'd been kids. It didn't seem important.

"I will not be long, Nepeta. I hope you're happy, wherever you are." he closed the case and handed his sylladex and specibus to the Strider and Lalonde children waiting at the door, as well as the keys. "Keep it secret, wrigglers. Protect the artefacts." he directed, giving them a weary smile, watching them nod.

The last surviving hero stepped out of the caverns, then ran into the impending battle. He would never understand why the empire was so against the sufferests. Not now that he was one.

Not now that he'd seen all his friends die for the cause.

Equius fought until he couldn't feel his limbs anymore. Until his eyes wanted to fall shut. Until his back buckled and sickles from threschecutioners fell into his back and chest.

When he finally met his end, it was with a content smile on his face. He'd done his best. Through the pain and anguish he knew he'd done exactly as he'd promised. He'd earned his end.

He was going to join them...

Centuries later, dark blue, very human eyes opened upon a world he knew well, and he rose from bed to tend to the children in his care, his troll-past a very vague memory.

Miles away shrill shrieks of grubs around them jarred John from whatever hellacious stasis he'd been placed in.

He stretched and shoved, pressed and moved, and it wasn't long before he'd actually managed to break whatever it was that was confining him happened to be.

But it was still dark.

It was still dark and he thought he was alone.

He couldn't help thinking that this wasn't how it was meant to be. That there was something missing. Someone? Nearby. Close enough that maybe, MAYBE, if he stretched just the right way?

His tiny body arched out, nose pressed against the stiff side of another...whatever it was.

There was a familiar warmth there. A familiar beat. Something as familiar to him as his own heart beat, whether or not he'd only just become aware of it.

He had to wait a while before the world around him resolved into something recognisable, and he chrred gratefully, rolling and twisting his grub body(Oh fuck you fate. Couldn't be human?). He prodded the other wiggler, this time watching carefully, studying the expression.

He squeaked at the other creature, brows furrowing. This was Karkat? No. This couldn't be...

The angry scowl, teeth over his bottom lip. That said Karkat, alright.

By the time food arrived he'd forgotten where he got those names, John (Jonathan? Jonath? Jontan...) and Karkat. He just knew they fit.

He knew he could depend on the other boy in a fight, so when the drones stepped too close to them, and the other grubs started attacking, John wasn't afraid to fight them off, because he was sure he and Karkat could do ANYTHING.

Most of all John knew that they'd be together forever, because they'd promised. He couldn't remember when, or how, but he knew they'd promised.

So when the white thing with red on it's arms offered a hand and gestured for him to come, Karkat didn't think twice about inching his way over to that fucker's hand. He didn't think twice about nuzzling the warm palm, because John would come after him soon enough.

In the end, they were together forever and always. Right?


	7. ==>Equius: Intervene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally part of something longer, but I cut it out and made it it's own at the advice of a friend.  
> As always you can find update information at [reincarnationstuck](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com/), which now has an incomplete(though in progress) [species, family and shipping wall](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com/species-and-ships). For unrelated information, you can check out my main blog at [](http://trickstersgambit.tumblr.com>trickstersGambit%20on%20tumblr</a>.)

The village he'd grown up in was small, populated by elderly humans, and their youngest descendants. Legend had it that the houses were built in the same fashion their Terran ancestor's had been. In this case the houses came close together, thickly thatched roofs with clay walls, open balconies. In the largest building in the village were paintings in bright colours that told the legends of their people. Terran animals and plants, memories painted by ancients, maintained by their descendents.

As a little boy, Equius had been told it was something like an old village in a place called India, and even wore that for it's name. Other strictly human villages were called things like 'Japan', 'England', 'Germany', 'France', 'Thailand', 'Egypt' and 'Greece'. There was rumoured to be a place called 'Rome' that supported long dead religions from all across Terra, but no one in his village cared particularly for any sort of religion of terra. They whispered, instead, of the more blasphemous 'Heroes' legend.

Equius Zahhak was a firm believer in following the rules. He'd been taught rules, raised with a group that was very strict. He rembered there was a group that refused to come to the same classes he and other young lusi attended . Among the children who chose the different lessons were, his friends Rose and Roxy, who'd come with their mother from the village of Japan.

He'd been taught that humans and trolls did not mix, mingle, or fall in love beyond the relationship of Lusi and Charge. Trolls should follow the Hemo-spectrum to the letter, and they were required to leave their Human-lusi behind when they left the planet to go to training, much unlike other trolls who brought their lusi with them.

It was his belief, as it had been his own father's, until he'd come to care for Jakobe English, his little wiggler, and the light of his life.

Equius had marched for the first time, in what was supposed was the longest trail to the hatching grounds. The trip had been hard, nights as excruciatingly cold as the days were hot, coming to a stop at the back of his pack. He'd found the green blood in the grounds, staring up at him with such a hopeful look on his face. Here was a grub close enough to his station to be someone he was allowed to care for, and scooped him up, cradling the little grub to his chest. The moment he'd looked into the grey eyes of the tiny grub, his heart melted, and he promised himself he would do anything for his young charge. That turned out to be changing his entire belief system to accept his wiggler's romances.

It was why he'd chosen to follow his charge from their lawn ring and into the woods.

His wiggler had, thankfully, chosen a place near a city with a human hub near the mountains. It afforded a certain protection, though it meant the trees were somewhat thick.

The mossy ground made little sound as the boy crept forward, even less as his lusus followed after him. Bushes rustled, stirred by a young hand, stilled by it's practiced guardian.

In front of them was a break in the trees, opening on a small meadow. The trees on the opposite side were marked and scarred. Equius knew that could only mean there was only one thing this could mean.

His wiggler was stalking humans.

The young wiggler stopped, hiding behind a tree, with Equius a few trees back. He was watching something, and Equius' eyes caught a column of white, about as large as his charge. A human who was about seven years old by human count.  
Jakobe was watching the pair of children talk. The elder, a very serious boy, was making motions of careful, graceful signs at the younger, clearly teaching the little one. It was a job for an adult, but there didn't seem to be one present.

The symbol on the boy's shirt was a magenta heart on the front of an orange hat, with the Roman numerals for sixteen- XVI on the sleeve. Striking markings of the strider bearing the name of 'Dirk', the sixteenth strider of the same name. The younger was wearing a white one-see, not wearing a sign, or a pair of sunglasses, as though the elder didn't understand the importance of them.

Strider meant they had to be near 'Houston', which was one of the first settlements. The closest to a troll city as they came, built inside a mountain, spilling out a cave into a formation that looked deceptively small. How were these boys on their own, teaching themselves, when they were so close to civilization?

Or were they close at all?

Were these the fabled 'Satellite Striders'?

The boy made a mistake in his language, stumbling over it, and Equius cringed, pushing past his charge, catching his shoulder to pull him forward as he noisily tromped through the underbrush to get the boy's attention.

Jake wanted to see the boys, Jake would see the boys. Dirk's mistake would be corrected before the child (who's name he could only assume to be 'Dave')caught on to it and started using it.

 _D-- > You are teaching him to make sloppy mistakes. This must not be allowed to continue._ the elder lusus chastised, shoving shoulder length white blond hair away from his face. _D-- > Where are your parents?_

 _They were marched._ Dirk replied, lifting his jaw, staring at Equius seriously. _It's just Dave and me now. You sign strange._

Equius flinched, then nodded, ignoring the jab at his quirk. It was something that made Jake and others he cared about smile, so he wasn't likely to stop.

_D-- > I shall fill the gaps in your education. You will need it when you are older. It is only just to your future charges that you be trained correctly._

_What makes you think we need your help?_ Dirk retorted, glaring up at the blue eyed man, watching as he took his glasses off and slid them on top of his head.

The man's broad nose scrunched and he peered at Dirk seriously, easing his own glasses off. He hooked them on the collar of his white tank and his hands flew into neat signs.

_D-- > You're alone. You need a teacher. I see no one else stepping to that plate so it would behoof me to do so in the place of responsible biological guardians._

"I think the little one's crying, Equius. Perhaps we can get him whatever he needs? I don't believe little ones are meant to have that look on their face or water from their eyes." Jake said, studying the infant as he leaned around the lusus.  
Both humans stopped, looking at the sobbing strider.

It was Equius who moved first, scooping up the boy, bouncing and shooshing him. Dirk watched the adult with wide eyes, stunned and confused by the action. It wasn't unusual for lusi to be wary of each other, but at such a young age it was better they learn to trust him. Unlike other species, humans tended their own as well as their charge.

The boy was unusually thin, and it made him cringe. He had to be unhealthy. How were they surviving on their own if the boy was so thin and light?

With one hand he reached out to grab a box from his sylladex, turning his hand over to hold it out for Dirk, who looked at it confused. Exasperated, Jake took the box, twisting a key, brows drawn together as he attempted to wind it as tight as possible. Getting the key to the stopping point was a game to him. He wasn't quite strong enough to do it completely yet, but he managed a few turns. The little green blood was constantly trying to impress his lusus with feats of strength. He didn't notice Equius asking Dirk where home was. He simply followed when Equius started walking.

Jakes gun-metal chaffed fingers let go of the key and the music wound out, catching the upset infant's attention, calming him. The humans let out a collective sigh of relief, grass crunching and the tinny plink of the music box the only sound in the aqua-blue forest as they moved through, breaking into a lawn ring with glowing pink leaves arching high over a Terran, ranch style home, painted rusty orange with dark red accents. It was backed by a hill, snug against the back-if not, grafted to the back, somehow.

"Is this where you live? It's so WEIRD." Jake chirped, grinning at them, shoving the box into Dirk's hands to run off to explore the area, much to Equius' displeasure. As they walked, the boy in the adult's hands settled down, reaching for whatever he could- a fistful of his hair, a handful of his shirt, a mouthful of his fingers,

A disquieting sense of nostalgia filled Equius. The scent of dirt and blood filled his nostrils, and he could swear he could see fire flashing over a sheet of glass--  
The vault was behind this house.

He didn't understand how he knew. He simply did.

He shook it out of his head, flinching when the child in his arms tugged on his hair, dragging his attention down to him. He smiled at the boy, brushing a finger down his nose. It made the tiny child's red eyes scrunch up, and he giggled quietly.

'I don't understand how a parent could allow himself to be marched with one so young in charge of another so tiny.' Usually humans only brought children into the world if they'd already marched, and raised their children in tandem with their charge. They often stayed with their mother and her charge-unless something horrible happened. He himself was still close enough to his own 'lover' (who was more of a best friend) that he could tend to their daughter and help with her charge when she required it.

'Unless they're Striders. There must always be a member of the direct line...' he shuddered, remembering the rules. Rules every Sufferest is taught. 'Such a burden for so young a child.'

The boy pushed open the door to their home, revealing dilapidated furniture, toys spread across the floor, weapons clustered in corners rather than hanging on the empty hooks on the walls, plates, cups and silverware were on every surface. The floor needed a sweep and a mop(maybe a scrubbing as well), and clothes were scattered throughout the home in varying states of 'clean'(which was better translated into 'horribly dirty').

They were living like ragamuffins!

The adult clucked his tongue, searching out a bedroom that seemed relatively clean, laying the baby down. A few quick signs instructed the elder boy to stay with him. Another series promised he'd be right back.  
He stormed out of the house, collecting his wiggler, hooking him under his arm, hauling him into the house.

Jake squawked in surprise then hissed when he was dumped onto the bed with the other boys. It was clear from his body language that he wanted to ignore the order to stay put, but a stern look from the adult made him settle in, looking at the other boys nervously.

Equius started in on the cabinets, scrubbing them out, glaring at them.

'He's a little boy. He shouldn't be expected to act as a parent yet. No one even taught him how to clean up after himself. Striders should be responsible for their own. Why aren't they tending to these boys?' Sometimes he wished he could mutter.

Now would be a lovely time for muttering, even if it was rude and passive aggressive.

Counters and the stove came clean with elbow grease--something told him they would have cracked or shattered, dented or fallen apart under his works sometime ago.

Pots and pans had to be soaked, and like the oven, had to be cleaned with chemicals, meaning windows and doors had to be opened. He came to find every dish in the house was caked with grime, some moulding with long left food. Part of him wondered if these boys would have survived much longer if Jake hadn't found them.

It took him a while, but soon he had the hive clean,

It took him a while longer to convince the elder boy to bathe. He needed to be supervised, and lectured. Just as Equius feared, both boys were desperately thin(and horribly dirty, Dirk had needed to be rinsed three times before he came clean properly).

Dave was easier, if a little fussy when he was bathed in the sink. Jake helped, eager to tend to a child, even as Equius informed him that Trolls didn't tend to humans.

The end of the day came, the boys were fed and put to bed, and he promised to return the next evening to tend to them and teach them.

He wasn't exactly sure what he was getting himself into, but he was afraid to leave them alone. Somehow he felt as though he'd be betraying a promise he made.

Within the month he wound up asking his moirail, and her sister for advice. Rose, his best friend(though not his moirail) and the mother of his child, came to the strider hive. She perched on the couch with Rose on her lap, her wiggler chasing his around in the yard while Dirk studied her warily, clinging to his younger brother protectively.

_It seems to me, Zahhak, that you've become quite the Lusus, in spite of your childhood fears._

_D-- > They needed a parent._ He watched as the rusty-eyed girl mouthed the Heroes pendant around her mother's neck. _There's something I need to discuss with you, Miss Lalonde._

 _And what would that be?_ Her eyebrow arched over small lenses, her smile growing a little wider. He suspected she already knew what he was going to ask.

_D-- > I would like you to teach me the legends. They're Striders, there are things they will need to know._

_I can see that._ She chuckled, letting their daughter mouth the hammer-and-cancer pendant around her neck. _Are you saying you wish to be educated in the manner my mother offered you when you were six?_

He nodded, sighing.

_D-- > It seems 100d to me not to know what they should know. Worse, I feel as though I..._

_Like you're forgetting something important?_ She questioned, elegant hands signing carefully as she glanced down at the girl in her lap. She blew a raspberry, dropping the pendant to stare at the other infant. _As though there were someone to whom you made an important promise to that isn't there right now, but might come back and judge you later, am I right?_

The man nodded again. Something about dark hair, blue eyes and large teeth, a large hammer and a broad smile filled his mind. Someone to be respected... but why?

Over the following years he watched the boys grow up, coming to think of them as much his own children as his own daughter. He learned their family's history with them, trained them to fight, to speak, to tend to their homes and future wigglers. He gritted his teeth in exasperation as Jake and Dirk came together in a relationship not long after Dirk's failed human pairing, and watched with anxiety as the elder boy marched for the first time.

He couldn't help the feeling that something big and terrifying was on it's way, though. Something was about to repeat itself, and the worry only grew when he knew Dave was about to march. He prayed that whatever it was, they'd be prepared for it.


	8. finally settling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you don't talk to the friend who does the coding for you for a month... the chat log doesn't get coded because awk.

It was a peaceful afternoon under a hot Texas sun. He was in the livingroom, video games going on the tv, a black plastic remote in his hand.

Hard thumps sounded from the outer hall. His door crashed down, the metal blockade crashing hard to the floor, scattering his elder brother's puppets and swords across the room. Dave surged to his feet, grabbing one of the weapons, toy discarded. He was prepared to defend his family.

Drones stood before him buckets in hand, ready to go to the boys. The boys aren't old enough, but the Drones are ready for them to be adults.

Ready to cull them.

"They're too young!" Dave shouts, throat raw, eyes welling with tears. "THEY'RE TOO YOUNG. Let them grow up. Let. them. grow. up." He tries to push them out, only to be knocked aside by one of them.

"Stand aside Lusus." one of them snarls. "You've no say here."

Dave struggles up, clawing at the drones.

"STOP IT. LEAVE THEM ALONE."

A head pops out from behind the door. Four eyes. His psionic.

"Daddy?" the boy's brows are furrowed, all eyes scrunched up, confused. Behind him Karkat was peering out, fins flared.

"Go back to bed."

"Daddy what's going on?"

"BACK TO BED. GET IN THE COON. PUT THE LID ON." he shouts, flash-stepping around the drones, pulling a blade from his specibus. He knows before he even looks. He knows they've seen the red tones in Karkat's facial fins.

He knows they know.

"MUTANT" the drones cry, pressing in on him. There's no room to fight, no room to move. They're pressing in and pushing past and--

Dave jerked awake, dirt and rocks pressing into his back, two weights on his torso. He cracked his eyes, blinking in the darkness as he reached out to check on them.

One wriggler on his chest, one on his belly.

Both breathing.

Both warm.

Both alive.

Both safe.

His fingers rubbed over their backs, revelling in the knowledge that his babies alive. Tiny, no more than a half-sweep.

No drones, no buckets. The fear dwelled in the back of his head-The culling forks. Lusi trying to take pity on the mutant sea-dwelling troll. Trolls ready to leave getting grand ideas of empirical fame taking a crack at his babies-grubs-children-wrigglers.

Their breathing soothed him back into a calm state and he laid there, red eyes focused on the top of the sun-guard, feeling the air chill as it began to seep in around him. They'd been traveling for almost two years, by his count. Three years since he picked them up. It had been three perigee since the woof beast attack. One year old trolls seemed more capable than two year old humans.

Seemed.

They could speak and walk, but they'd get themselves killed without a parent. ESPECIALLY these two.

In the sweep they'd been traveling the two had managed to expose their blood colours to passing lusi(Who'd then been culled. More bedding and food for them. Whatever.) Wander off and get 'lost' (Which caused Dave to panic. They'd been playing him. God damn it). John nearly DROWNED trying to stay close to Karkat. recently.

Having two wrigglers was a challenge unlike any he'd ever heard a human taking on, but it was so rewarding. Little smiles, happy chirps, laughter. The moments when they brought little rocks and leaves and branches to him for him to identify.

He'd let them sleep. He just wanted to bask in their existences for now.

That was what Dave was prepared to do, until he took an elbow to the throat.

He felt himself release a sort of choked gasp, mouth flapping as he tried to breath.

John's attention was on him in an instant, eyes glowing as he tried to push air down Dave's throat, panic pulling his brows together.

"I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry."

He gasped and air rushed into his lungs. He rolled his eyes at the wriggler, prodding at his side. Accidents were forgiven. How could he even think to be mad at John? He was too sweet. They both were, even if Karkat could get snippy sometimes.

Dave dragged the psionic troll close, smiling contently as he nuzzled his head. He felt Karkat shuffling and rolling around, sharp joints digging in to his belly.

"Karkaaaaaaat you're hurting Davey!" Jon whined, reaching to prod at the fishy-troll.

"God, John. Dad can take it! He's not made of glass or soft water bladder or something" the pointy-jointed troll returned, yawning.

Dave laughed, brushing his fingers through Karkat's hair as well.

Every time they called him dad his heart did a little flutter and he felt a rush of pride. It was weird, though. Growing up, he'd never heard of a troll calling their lusi 'dad'. Maybe it was a secret other lusi kept close.

"Dad. Daaaad. Leave my hair alone." he grumped, and Dave dragged him in, nuzzling his head.

"Good morning to you too, Dave." he flared his facial fins, and Dave grabbed up a bottle of water, splashing them with a smirk. Karkat shook his head, sending sprays of water at them both. Dave retaliated with a splash to Karkat's gills, and earned a giggle from John.

Yeah he could take it. Dave was a strong, proud Strider. So long as he was doing what he was born and bred to do, taking care of his wrigglers, he could, and WOULD take anything.

Dave put his fingers to his face and made the sign for food, asking if they were hungry. The next moment the shade was thrown off and the boys were scrambling to set up the fire pit. Logs were dragged out, rocks created a ring. Jon was standing on one of the logs directing the rocks and sticks Karkat pointed out, moving like he was conducting a symphony. He always thought how clever and beautiful it was, even if it was dorky.

As soon as the shade was captcha'd Karkat shoved the char cloth, flint and steel into his hands and Jon settled everything into place, both of them staring at him expectantly.

"C'mon already! Make with the fire dad!" Karkat growled, trying to come off angry, but the eagerness didn't leave his eyes and caused Dave to chuckle in his strangled way and ruffle his hair.

He knelt down, glancing at the kids.

Good, they were watching.

He wiggled the tools and theatrically smacked the flint on the steel, ensuring that nothing happened. He glanced at them, their bated breath, their wide eyes, all six of them fixed on him. Another strike, nothing but worried whines. This happened every morning.

'You would think,' he told himself, striking for a spark, 'that after all this time they'd figure out that I'm just screwing with them.' he struck again and the cloth caught the sparks and started to glow. Soon enough the tinder caught fire, and so did their campfire was lit.

"FIRE." the boys danced, laughing in triumph, and Dave was on top of the world.

'Best goddamned lusus on Alternia. Better than Dirk, or any other strider in the line. Let's see THEM keep two trolls entertained and safe.'

Food was started out over the fire and the boys chased each other around the camp in rowdy giggles that made Dave roll his eyes and huff.

As soon as food was ready his hand shot out and caught one of John's horns, pulling him to a stop, guiding him into a sit. The sign for 'food' was produced again, and both the boys scrambled into their seats for breakfast, giggling.

"I think this is the place." John said, nibbling at a piece of feather beast meat.

"I was thinking the same thing." Karkat agreed, flaking some fish, chrring softly.

It had to be too good to be true. Were they settling?? Had their stay in the village been enough to give them a taste for permanent roofs, hot and cold running water?

"OH. Can I go swimming after dinner?" Karkat asked, eyes bright, eager. He RARELY asked. He hated it... Oh. This was new and important.

_take john with you he needs a bath and i need to clean up_

_if youre settling you should probably think about what you want the place to look like so i can get the drones here and get it done fast_

_then were going to have to hide you up a tree or something_

"Up...a tree?"

_im assuming youre going to want to put part of it in the lake so hiding there is out of the question_

"Why do I even have to hide?"

"YEAH? Why does Karkat hide? We're both mutants..."

_theres a difference between a psionic mutation and a hemospectrum mutation_

_your mutation is favorable because psionics are seen as useful to the empire_

_karkats mutation is unfavorable due to him being such a bright color and a seatroll_

_anything that makes people question the validity of the hemospectrum is a danger to the empire as far as theyre concerned_

_in two thousand years theres been little change in the mainstream thinking_

_no matter how far the cult of the sufferer, or the following of the heroes, and their thoughts and ideals are extended_

"Cult..." Karkat frowned.

"Sufferer?" John added, in his whistling lisp, looking at Karkat, then back at Dave.

Dave reached for a card from his sylladex, coming back with a chain bearing the zodiac symbol 'cancer' with a little two dimensional, stylized hammer hanging from it-- A gift from the villagers. He held it out to Karkat, and watched him take it from him. Dave wasn't going to pull punches or turn this into the proverbial 'disney fairytale'... whatever that was...

_millennia ago in the time before humans there was a troll who saw everything wrong with the trolls empire and he wanted to change it_

_he told other trolls about everything he thought the world would be if it was better and that he wanted to make it that way_

_he was off the spectrum too by the way karkat_ he paused, meeting the wiggler's eyes. _he was red like you_

_the empire destroyed him but the subjects remembered and whispered his story through time_

_and one day his heir appeared snarling about how the world was shit_

_and he tried to change the world too_

_he was captured by the empire and died his human matesprit tried to fight in the daylight thinking striking when the sun was up was the best option he paused, resting his chin on his knees. the human died and the rebellion followed_

_thats how the story goes at least_

_but thats why the troll society is he way it is_

_thats why we have to hide you_

_until youre old enough to protect yourself and fight_

"When I'm old enough to protect myself, I'll just protect you two." Karkat declared, sitting up straight in his seat. "But I won't die because the empire wants me to."

"I believe you, Karkat!" Jon declared, hugging him. "but, uuuuum. Let's talk about our hiiiiiiiive."

Dave cringed at Jon's whine but nodded at Karkat. Best not to keep the boy waiting.

John and Karkat sat together, keeping their foreheads pinned against one another, whispering in rapid fire Alternian, perhaps picked up from Karkat's movies. They thought he couldn't understand them, and he let them go on thinking that. Jake and Eridan had taught him what things meant, and even if he couldn't speak it, he could understand.

However, this was an event that a Lusus was to have no say in. Ancient-style headphones, were pulled from his sylladex and tucked over his ears. Music blared to drown out their chatter. All he could do at this point was keep an eye on them and let them plan.

'But god if I don't want to reach out and send off the carpenter-drone call. Hurry up boys. Daddy wants to at least sleep in a room.'

He watched the two of them talk using words and their hands, intermittently drawing on the ground and picking at their food. It struck him as nostalgic, and looking at them he could almost see a pair of near-adults. A human and a troll, grinning, snarling, glasses, teeth bared, giggling, growling.

He got himself some food, smiling thoughtfully as he studied their motions, the way they interacted. They'd probably be together forever, if they were allowed to.

There was something calming and comforting about that. If he could help Karkat get away with his blood, and they went the same way...

'Karkat's a sea troll, after all. Those are pretty high ranking in the military. They could be paired together, helms--No. No we're not thinking about that. Snap out of it, Strider.' He ordered himself, jacking up the music.

He found his fingers itching to touch something. Something smooth and vaguely plastic. Grooved and spinning. Feeling something slide against it, the churn of music in the room.

A tiny hand grabbed his shirt, tugging firmly. Dave glanced down at Karkat, who was staring at him in his endearingly grumpy way.

_sup little man??_

_WE FIGURED OUT WHAT WE WANT. LET'S GET THIS THING OVERWITH ALREADY, ASSHOLE._

_asshole what??_

_DAD-ASSHOLE OK?_

Dave chuckled, nodding. His hand reached for the signal, then motioned for them to show him the EXACT location, and he planted it at the center of what was to become their lawn ring. A smack of a red button, and the call was placed. and now we wait little dudes

john is the only wriggler the drones should see

so were going to pick out a place for you to hide and youve got to promise to stay where i put you ok??

"FINE OK. TAKE OFF THE FUCKING HEAD GEAR. IT MAKES YOU LOOK FUCKING DUMB."

 _awww is the kitty a little grumpy?? remember im the lusus and we dont yell at our lusus when theyre trying to keep us alive right??_ The offending personal-music-containing auditory devices were placed back into his sylladex, and he grinned at the boy.

"Yeah fine, whatever."

"We're getting a house! Like in Family Man except without neighbors or an angel at a convenience store!" John's arms flapped a bit, a big grin on his face.

"Except it doesn't look like that, moron. And don't alter the plans while I'm gone. I swear to god if you do I..."

"You'll what? Stick your chilly fish toes against my back again?" John grinned, and watched as Karkat turned bright red under his thick grey skin, and huffed, putting his back to John. The psionic troll flung his arms around him and nuzzled at his neck, and Karkat hunched down, purring, relenting.

"Nothing, just... UGH Don't change the plan ok? Your plan looked like something out of a twenty-zero-something Terran film. It's dumb."

"Fine. I promise not to tell the drones to build something else. I wasn't going to anyway, gosh, Kar." he bumped a horn against one of Karkat's, and Dave watched as they both dissolved into a fit of giggles when the sensitive bases touched. Dave pretended not to see, as soon as Kar glanced at him. He was wearing sun-glasses. How could he tell?

"So are we going or not?" Karkat glared at nothing in particular. Dave laughed, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

_john you stay here and wait for the drones_

_if they ask you where i am say 'hunting'_

John giggled and Dave scooped Karkat up, slinging him over his back. He could feel Karkat squirming in his grumpy way, and he sighed, taking off into the woods.

He'd have to go back with food, once Kar was hidden, but he'd at least get to know he was safe.

He chose a decent sized tree, far enough away from camp that he couldn't possibly be seen, close enough that if Dave needed to he could flash step over to him and have him down no problem.

"I hate them." Kar said suddenly, as Dave was getting him situated-making a nest for the tiny, grumpy troll.

_hate what??_

"My fins. I hate them. And the webbing. And the gills. I want to be normal."

_normal is a pretty broad definition kar_

_normal trolls have lusi that communicate with grunts and clicks and snarls that dont translate into something a troll can learn_

_normal trolls arent lucky enough to get a human lusus_

_especially not a strider_

_if you were normal then thered be someone cooler than you to take that spot next to john and then whered you be??_

_youre perfect karkat_

_so stop being all mopey about it_

_if youre that twisted up about it in two sweeps well see what we can do ok??_ He hefted Karkat up from the lower branch, swinging him up into the nest. _in the meantime your majesty_

_ive gathered some crap youll find interesting_

_a good selection of your shitty romcoms_

_both terran and alternian_

_roe cubes in the chillbox_

_a dagger and your practice sickles_

_and don't think i havent caught you trying to mess with my 'stupid looking' headphones_

_we both know theyre pretty retro sweet he handed them over, smirking. one ear_

_you listen for danger, and you run at the first sign that theyve found you_

_and you scream_

_i dont care if it goes against your grain_

_you scream like a lady whos just had a guy flip her skirt in the middle of public and is having to beat him off with her purse full of gold bricks or some shit got it???_

"Yeah yeah. One ear, listen, scream, snacks, movies. Fine. Go...do whatever it is lusi do for their normal wrigglers."

Dave was starting to feel a little lost. He saw the pained look in Karkat's eye, and resolved to connect a computing grub so he could ask for advice from the best lusus he knew. As soon as the hive was done, he was contacting Equius and Dirk.

Karkat watched Dave leave with his chin on his knees. He wasn't going to cry. Strider never cried, neither would he. It still hurt to be left on his own like this. Especially when he couldn't remember a time when John and Dave weren't there.

'I'm a freak. My lusus has to hide me behind a slightly less freaky troll who's still so perfect that he's ANNOYING as FUCK. The empire would kill me soon as look at me. I'm a freak.' he told himself, hugging his knees tightly, starting a film with a flick of his fingers on keys, only half listening to the ancient movie playing beside him, his eyes firmly fixed on the path his guardian had left by. He'd been sitting there for hours, listening to the old film, the voices of long dead Terran actors thrumming against his ears.

"I'll never let go Jack" the movie whispered, and he rubbed a tear from his eye, frustrated both by the plot going on in his movie and the situation as a whole.

The plot carried on and credits rolled some time after a stone dropped into the ocean. He switched out the ancient disks to something John would like. Something about a wizard and his apprentice. What did he care? He saw Nic Cage on the box and moved on autopilot. It was one of John's favorites.

'At least he left me shit to do. God. DAMNIT. I hate this. I'm the least lucky troll in the history of Alternia. If I ever meet my ancestor I'll kick him in the bulge and demand he never pail anyone ever again because why the hell would you subject this disgusting mutation on anyone? Fuck them for getting to an age where they could dump genetic material into the fucking slurry. And fuck their quadrants for letting them do it. And fuck everything becau-- FUCK.' He jumped-there was a rustling in the bushes below him, and he eased his headphones off, peering over the edge of the 'nest' he was perched in, fins and ears flicking curiously.

Pacing beneath the tree was a white cat, clearly not a lusus, as it was wearing a collar and had a barely noticeable grey saddle back marking. A large terran-housecat maybe?

"How lucky am I that here are strays out here, today? You'd think they'd be killed by the dolorosas when they were grubs. But here's one." An older voice startled Karkat further, making him grip the branch so hard it felt like his webbing was going to tear. The troll had been following the cat, and could have possibly owned it? He looked up and met eyes with Karkat, and the sea troll's blood ran cold. This guy was hunting lusus-less trolls. "Gitcheer ass down here or I send Lalia."

"Nope. Definitely nope. You think I'm coming down there then you're glitching worse than my fucking movie viewer after it fell in the water." he growled, starting to climb the tree to reach a branch he could crawl across, hoping to escape through the trees if he could. His foot slipped a couple of times before he managed to shimmy onto the branch, scrambling across to the next three, grabbing on.

The webbing between his forefinger and his thumb popped and split with the force of trying to hold on to the large branch where it split into smaller ones, and he let himself sob, shaking the hand out once he had his balance. He made it to the body of the next tree just in time to see it start to shake and looked down to see the cat scaling after him, and he panicked, scrambling down the tree he was clinging to, attempting to flee in the direction Dave had left through.

"DAD. DAD HELP." he shrieked, scrambling through the brush, trying to follow the directions he'd been given by the worried, human-lusus. His knees scraped on the ground, hands gripping awkwardly at trees as he passed.

He thought he was going well, making quick work of his escape, until the troll caught him, grabbing him by the facial fin, cackling. The pain of having the sensitive structure gripped and wrenched as it was caused Karkat's vision to blur with crimson tears.

"What we got's here? A little high blood fish freak?" the troll grinned, not even noticing the red, at the moment.

"Let me go you ham-fisted moron! I'll castrate you with my CLAWS. I swear. You'll never fill a filial pail in so long as you live. I'll tear it out and shove it down your throat and you'll regret the day you ever laid a single fucking claw on KARKAT MOTHERFUCKING VANTAS. MY LUSUS IS A STRIDER AND I CAN FUCKING TAKE YOU." he snarled, baring blunt teeth as he tried to claw free.

"Awe. The high blood thinks he can insult his way free. Thinks he's so much smarter than someone getting ready to leave the fucking planet. What makes you so smart, fins? Hm?" he snickered, and Karkat snarled louder, groping to the side, searching for something to hold on to. He found it, his hand wrapped around a curved branch, and he swung it at the bigger troll's side.

"For one, I don't go around grabbing little trolls 'n taunting them. Two: My lusus taught me better than to let fuck headed dip-shits hang on to my sensor-fins. Your lusus must be ashamed of you and your utter and COMPLETE lack of sense. THREE: FUCK YOU. YOU'RE A SCUM-SUCKING BOTTOM FEEDER WITH NO SENSE OF MORALS." he rammed the end into the troll's gut, causing him to jerk back-  
and take one of the fin spines with him, detaching just over half the right facial fin from Karkat's cheek, leaving the boy wailing as he scrambled to get it free.

"LET ME GO YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKER!" he shouted, clawing at the hand, trying to ignore the winded laughter.

"You're a FREAK. A freak with disgusting red blood. Oh shit. Oh shit this is beautiful!" he cackled, viciously tugging to see more, watching as spines pulled away with sick, wet pops. "I bet these are grafted on anyway. I'm doing you a favor, ugly little shit."

A short blade appeared at the troll's throat, pale hands holding it firm.

Dave had arrived.

"That, you utter excuse of a troll and complete waste of air, is my lusus, and I think dad wants you to let me go" karkat said softly, shaking, hand pressed to the rip where his fin had been pulled free.  
When the troll didn't comply, thick green blood decorated the blade of the dagger that had been drawn across his neck. As he fell away the rest off the fin popped off, and Karkat shrieked, slapping a hand over the wound, sobbing hard.

Thick, pale brows pulled together as he tugged the young troll close, prying his hand away from the wound. Blood spurted from a place where the capillaries and veins met in his cheek, dribbling down his neck. Dave's chest clenched.

"It hurts." Kar keened, and the lusus scooped him up, nuzzling the top of his head, running him back to the camp, trying not to jostle or lose his grip on the wriggler. "Makeitstop."

The facial wound was bleeding profusely, spines held close only by the press of the young hands, which were both already coated in blood. Karkat was sobbing into Dave's shirt when they arrived at the newly built hive.

The door swung open before they were half way through the lawn ring, and John barrelled out, all four eyes opened wide in the moonlight, taking in the fact that his beloved Karkat was having to be carried... And he wasn't fighting it.

"KARKAT. Karkat buddy! Are you alright?" he whined, and Dave nudged him back, stepping past him to lay him out on a reclining chair. "Dad, dad what happened to him?"

_hes injured_

_get me the first aid kit wherever the fuck you put that_

_now_

John sniffled and darted off to the second story hygiene block.

From the first floor, Dave was certain he could hear him throwing things(a feat, given they didn't have much to be thrown, yet) and sobbing. He glanced at Karkat and frowned at the pale skin, the way the bleeding continued. The torn webbing, the fin that was hanging on by a sliver of skin.

He stripped his shirt off and wadded it up, tossing the green and red stained mess away, pulling a towel and a battered, ancient pda from his sylladex. The towel went to the wound, and Dave pressed Karkat's hand over it, holding it firm against his face, indicating that he needed to do his best to stay that way.

Karkat snarled at him, but did as he was told, whimpering. It wasn't long before he started feeling heavy and tired, though, and while Dave was messing with the PDA, the young wriggler passed out.  
\--  
Dirk sat with a little troll girl on his lap, letting her read to him as her feet swung against his legs. She was a bright green blooded troll, wearing the vague outline of a fur-beast as a symbol. Her horns were shaped roughly like fur-beast ears, arching up, pointing sharply down with a curl at the end that, had they been a different colour, would have given the impression of tufts of fur. She was wearing a pair of ancient round glasses. She'd removed them from the vault and refused to return them.

"Jadine, you're going to bruise him." An older troll with forward facing horns scolded her, wagging a finger at her, his own squared frames-another object she had refused to have returned to the vault(She was a very opinionated five year old)

Dirk laughed, scooping her out of his lap, passing the wriggler off on his lover, pecking Jake's lips.

 _She wasn't hurting me any. Her strife specibus is still downstairs. What's she going to do, kick me to death? You worry too much, Jake. Human, English. Not glass._ He teased, stealing another kiss, which was freely given.

Equius smacked his hands from across the room to grab their attention.

_I remind you that I am still in the room_

_I do not appreciate such actions being put to my charge while he is still technically under aged._

_Old man, we sleep in the same bed, there's shenanigans going on while you sleep. Frotting and genetic material involved to the extreme. Changing our sheets every night just because things get hot and heavy in there._

_He should be using the recoupercoon as is proper._

_He'll sleep in the coon if he so desires._ Dirk signed with a shrug. He glanced over at Jake and Jade. The girl had fallen into a half doze, whispering 'dad' as she did, clinging to Jake's shirt. They had become something of a traditional human family unit. Jake and Dirk raising a young girl as though she was their daughter, Equius existing as a grandfather, protective of both the trolls.

Their home was exactly the same as it always had been. Ancient walls painted with thick layers of rust red and pumpkin orange. There was exposed stone in the fire place, which was rebuilt every one-hundred-fifty years, religiously. The same lacquered sword sheaths and oiled, sharpened swords hung on the wall, retrieved by marched Striders starting out in their lives as lusi, returned by grieving charges.

Dinner ware was repeatedly replaced, new, chip-free porcelain gleaming in the cabinets. food an supplies were gotten as a group, carried in by eager trolls and amused human lusi. Sometimes Equius would get this far away look, thinking about a nostalgic sensation. One in which he hadn't been human. When he couldn't touch the people he cared for.

When he was alone but surrounded.

He was an easy read for the young strider, who, at times, would place a kind hand on the man's shoulder and give him a knowing look.

On one wall were a pair of husktops. One dark green with blue trim, the other bright green with orange trim. Both on. One Pesterchum account and one Trollian account open on the blue trimmed machine. One pesterchum accounnt open on the orange machine, and nothing else. All three accounts were waiting for a specific handle to come online.

timeSignature.

Dave.

His extended absence had the three elder house-mates worry. It made Dirk wring his hands when no one was looking.

It made him retrieve the sun glasses, once owned by his ancestor, from the vault. It made him slide them on. It made him turn them on and update the chat client.

\--timaeusTestified[TT] began pestering timaeusTestified[TT]  
TT: Welcome back Dirk.  
TT: It's been a while.  
TT: My internal clock says two-thousand-two-hundred-twenty-four years, seven months and fifteen days.  
TT: Quite the feat for a human.  
TT: Unless you aren't Dirk.  
TT: I'm Dirk Strider.  
TT: Definitely not the generation you're looking for, though. I'm number sixteen. Age twenty-four.  
TT: Well fuck. Sup or whatever.  
TT: Who are you?  
TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 50% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.  
TT: Impressive. I need to add a name to this client.  
TT: Walk me through it. I'm still getting the hang of technology. It's right on the tip of my fingers. I know it's there, but fuck if I remember how it works yet.  
TT: The others don't know that I've got this in my head. It's too soon to mention it.  
TT: But you 'remember' therefore you must be the same Dirk on some level.  
TT: Because, shit, you're alive and you're not fucking surprised that a program is talking to you. Credit for that. Shit.  
TT: Thanks I guess. It's freaky but it's the kind of freaky that's ok?  
TT: Task at hand, though. I need to add my baby bro to this thing.  
TT: Just tell it to add whatever you've got there.  
TT: Just think it?  
TT: I guess, whatever.  
TT: Um...  
TT: Add timeSignature.  
TT: Shit it just came out as text.  
TT: My life needs to be fucked sideways.  
TT: No shit. But at least someone knows I'm still here.  
TT: Of course. You seem to be pretty self aware. Credit to my past self for making a program so cognisant of it's own existence.  
TT: Shit. Jake's looking at me funny. I must look like a crazy man sitting here zoning out.  
TT: Ignoring this window for a bit in favor of chatting up my matesprit.  
TT: Sorry dude.  
TT: Shit, no problem. One of you hopped on that bus before it was too late. Final-fucking-ly.  
TT: Thanks?  
TT: Bye for now.  
\--timeausTestified[TT] ceased pestering timeausTestified[TT]--

Jake was staring at him with his head tilted to the side.

"Are you alright?" He asked carefully, watching Dirk with a very concerned expression. "You know your son is going to be here soon. You'rer staring off into space like a drooling fool. Scaring the devil fuckin' dickens out of me."

_Sorry, I was worrying about Dave. I don't like that we haven't heard from him in a year._

"I know, but we can't change that fact. Focus here or Tavi will think you don't care as much about him as you do your charge. How is he going to learn anything about being a proper lusus then?"

 _You're right._ Dirk cringed. It wasn't as though the broad who'd given birth to Tavi was a bad mother, but she wasn't the pinnacle of motherly care, and only a halfway decent Lusus(and she was trying to take on two wrigglers under the age of ten sweeps. He wished the old booze hound luck with that.) _I'm just anxious_.

"He's a grown man now, Strider. You're goin to have to loosen the apron strings."

One thing everyone had to know about Dirk strider was that whatever the universe said about him, he was a family man first. He loved his brother, his son, his charge, his lover, his mentor, even the woman who'd brought Tavi into the world, and by extension, the wrigglers she brought up. Not knowing what was going on with Dave was driving him to an early grave.

"I understand you're feeling a bit put off," Jake continued, "But Dave is as much a strider as you are, so he knows how to handle himself."

There was a shriek from the back of the home, and Jade came running out, a small pop rifle in her hands, stumbling backward with it pointed at the door.

"I DON'T WANT A BATH!" She wailed, then threw the rifle to her side, diving in between Dirk and Jake with a 'daddy daddy save me it's not fair.' on her lips.

Dirk peered at her fondly and chuckled in the hacking way the human lusi had.

"Baths are vital for little trolls who play in dirt and gun-powder. You'll get all smelly." Jake leaned down and took a whiff, playful about it. "Hoo boy." he wagged a hand in front of his face. "God you smell like dirt. That's not right at all. Little trolls should smell like soap. That's what my dad always taught me."

"Bleh. Soap smells bad."

"Really?"

"REALLY!" she exclaimed, exasperated.

Dirk watched Jake with a fond smile. Jake was a good parent, for being a troll, and deserved MORE credit for being so young.

"You must not be using the magic soap then." Jake said, trying to sound knowing and convincing.

"Magic soap?" Jade sounded mystified.

"Yep. We'll just have to talk grandpa Ekky into pulling it out for you." He smiled, ruffling her hair.

Dirk decided it had to be green blood thing. Jake had needed convincing. Nepeta, as far as the broad was concerned, had to be wrestled... Vriska had no trouble getting in the bath and getting as prune-y as possible.

Pesterchum was chiming and he glanced at Jade's machine as Jake lead the girl from the room like the father he'd taken to claiming himself to be.

The human moved to his feet, starting over to the computer, staring at the screen as pink flooded it.

\--whiskeySleeper[WS] began pestering testamentKeeper[TK]--  
WS: Dicr  
WS: *dkir  
WS: **dick  
WS: close enough.  
WS: ttly just snet u the illegal the kitty and the bull  
WS: drns in the ria  
WS: *drones  
WS: *area  
TK: Are you drunk, Ro Lal? You know that's against keeper regulations.  
WS: regulations smegulations.  
WS: and i'll have u know i'm serfectly pober  
WS: *perfectly  
WS: *sober  
WS: i'm just scared shitless  
WS: they tok fishroyal from next door  
WS: can hear rose thowing thinngs  
WS: theyll come snooping here  
WS: purging this station  
TK: Woah. What? What about MaryMaid?  
WS: on a run  
WS: thnx the fucking saints  
TK: 69[]>*  
WS: 69[]>*  
WS: blocking this entrance.  
TK: Alright.  
WS: Take crea of them.  
WS: *care  
TK: Stay safe, Roxy.  
WS: yah ok ttly  
WS: ilu dirk.  
TK: Good luck.  
\--whiskeySleeper[WS] ceased pestering testamentKeeper[TK]--

So much for not being a model parent.

Dirk glanced up to see a frustrated Equius entering the room.

Watch the catacombs. Nep is bringing rugrats for a stay. Might be permanent.

Why for?

Reasons. We can talk later.

Pesterchum dinged again and Dirk turned his attention back to the screen, expecting it to be Rose or another sufferer.

Red text, two simple lines.

\--timeSignature[TS] began pestering testamentKeeper[TK]--  
TS: bro shits gone ass up over here my wriggler is bleeding the other one is freaking out  
TS: drones came send help please  
\--timeSignature[TS] has sent hereswhereiam.jpg--  
\--timeSignature[TS] ceased pestering testamentKeeper[TK]--

Well shit. Everything was happening at once, now, wasn't it?


	9. pale mates forever, duh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short. it's probably not very good. I'm sorry.

It was a day. One of the frustrating sort that left a person frazzled and verging on panic. The people he needed were busy, and it was driving the psionic up a wall. Aradia was having ANOTHER fight with Equius, Terezi was sniping at Vriska. Sollux was without anyone to lean on, and John could see it. The panic written on the mutant troll's face had him walking over to him, setting his hand on the blind psionic's shoulder.

"Hey. You look like you need someone." He didn't laugh when Sollux jumped. It wasn't funny when someone so pitiful was startled--Was this what pale feelings felt like? He wasn't a troll. He couldn't know for sure. All he knew was that he wanted to help; wanted to cheer him, wanted to be the reason the psionic smiled, at least a little.

Sollux tilted his head back after a moment, imagining he could see the human. He'd never once seen the human. He only knew him by voice and reputation. John was known for being incredibly kind, when he wanted to be.

"I'm jutht...Yeah I need thomeone." he sighed, shifting to the side as John sank down next to him on the pile. It was easy to let himself lay back against the human, and he didn't mind when John's fingers went to his scalp, massaging gently. He actually purred, snuggling against him.

"Headache?" John asked, letting Sollux flop across his lap, adjusting to allow the sprawl of the troll.

"Yeah, kinda...? My head feelth like it'th full of beeth and my moirail and matethprit can't be bothered 'cauthe they're off with their kithmethith or pitch cruch." he let his weight fall on John's legs, which made John wriggle uncomfortably. It wasn't that he weighed a lot, so much that Sollux was all bone and angles.

"I'm going to lose the feeling in my legs here" he grunted, pulling a leg out from under Sollux, draping it over his back. This somehow seemed to work for him and...

"...Ok that'th actually kinda comfy." the psionic sighed, snuggling in.

"You really needed a snuggle buddy didn'cha?" he laughed, petting his hair.

The day came when they passed into the new world, and everyone built their own homes. It was usually a place where moirails roomed together, sometimes matesprits as well. Sollux had been staying with Aradia, while Terezi made her home with Dave, but the two girls soon became involved in other things, leaving the psionic alone more often than not. The more Aradia and Terezi drifted away, the more Sollux started seeking John out, the two of them curling comfortably into a pile of whatever was nearby. John was spending as much time with Sollux as he was with Karkat.

Sollux was a nervous wreck from the strain. It was then that john decided to take a stand.

"Can't you see what you're doing to him?" Sollux could hear John shouting at Aradia, outside. He could almost feel the anger and pity flowing off the human. "You're hurting him! You're pushing him away! If you don't want the relationship, tell him already!"

Sollux didn't bother to hear Aradia's response. Sollux relationship with Aradia had completely fallen apart, finally. Aradia hadn't said a word of her conversation, didn't bring up the issues. She acted like things were fine between them until Sollux himself exploded.  
-  
"Hey, JN?" Soll said, comfortably sprawled over one of John's legs, toying with a tablet he'd made that allowed him to read with variations of static in his fingers. It was a few years after they'd started hanging out like this.

"Yeah?" John was preoccupied with Ms Pac-Man, thumbing the buttons on a Sega Genesis control pad. He spared a moment from his game to glance at his blind friend.

"...can we be Moirailth? Make it offichial?" He shifted to turn his face to John, trying to imagine his face, not for the first time.

"Kinda thought we already were? I mean that's the gossip." John shrugged. "So yeah. We can be Moirails, officially. I mean...I guess feeling needed is sort of something to get out of Moirailship?"

"Moirailiegenthe." Sollux corrected. "And yeah, I gueth. But you have weird moodth, too, tho you're getting thomething out of thith other than being needed, right?"

John did get moody. He'd withdraw when his father was brought up, when earth was mentioned. In his mind, the loss of his family or planet was his fault, and if he'd done better they'd all have their planets.

"T'ch. Yeah I guess." John laughed, breaking the tension by giving Sollux a teasing noogie, getting a growl-laugh from the psionic.

"Pale?" Sollux gasped, once John let up, both still chuckling.

"Yeah, duh." John rolled his eyes, patting his friend's shoulder as he looked back at his game. "Oh god damn it. I lost." he grumbled, Sollux snickering as he returned to the tablet, humming contentedly. Their relationship was announced to the group at the end of the week, around a bonfire with the blind troll stumbling over the words, making John chuckle and finish the decleration for him.


	10. im comin home i promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines from one of the cardinal ships of the fic. :'D

Dream bubbles were strange, marvellous places.

As far as Eridan was concerned, it didn't matter if he was doomed, or alpha. He didn't know. What mattered was trying to figure out the human who seemed to rule the land in all his bullet riddled, red-blooded glory.

"Who are you?" He peered at the aviators on the face of the red-suited human in front of him. 

"They call me Dave. I'm just some poor doomed off shoot timeline shit who got fucked over by the nature of my ability and wound up getting a nice perk in the afterlife--if this can be called one. You're one of the trolls. Like Pyrope." He observed coolly and lowered his glasses, quirking a brow at him.

"W-well, yes... I..." The violet-streaked sea prince, covered in his own blood muttered, shifting foot to foot.

"Cool. Name?" A teasing smirk was on his lips, pulling the pale pink flesh in a way that was somehow ridiculously attractive. 

"Eridan Ampora. Prince of the Alternian trolls."

"Prince? Don't be a douche bag. Seriously. I don't think we're ALIVE anymore. You can forget being a prince." he rolled his eyes. "Are you sticking around or passing through?"

Dave flopped on his futon and snatched up his game controller, crossing his legs as he fiddled with the control.

"Does it matter?" Eridan nibbled on his scarf, frowning. "I mean--"

"Death gets boring. People come and go. Just saying, it'd be nice to have one constant, you know?"

"How...long have you been dead?" Eridan ventured, stepping closer, peering at the controller.

"Eh... A while I guess? I dunno." he shrugged. "Doesn't matter... You coming or going?" Eridan walked over to the couch, peering at the fabric dubiously.

"Is it clean?'

"we're DEAD, Ampora. It stopped mattering the minute what offed us did the job." he grabbed the cloak the troll was wearing, hauling him down by it, snickering at the flailing troll as he flopped to the seat next to him.

"I--I." he slumped next to Dave, then held out a hand. "I'll stay."

"Awesome." he dropped a remote into the troll's hand. "I have P 1, and Princess Peach."

"Hey w-wait!"

Time didn't matter when you were dead.

What mattered was the feel of a person-however unreal it was-as they laid against you while you pretended at living.

Dave was laying on his bed with the cool-blooded Eridan sprawled on top of him, snuggling against his chest. He didn't remember when they got to this point, but he wasn't going to argue. He did, however, object to the ring digging into his back.

"Ampora. Ampora move your hand."

"No. I'm comfortable."

"Dude, we're dead, not numb. You're killing my back." Dave sighed, wriggling to move Eridan's hand. It took a moment for the troll to get the idea and pull his hand out. "Those rings are murder, babe."

"Yeah w-sell, I'm self conscious about my hands ok?" Eridan rolled his eyes and slipped them off, setting them on the bedside table. The webbing on his fingers spread out, freed from their confines.

Dave looked at his hands, lifting one up, studying the membrane before kissing it gently.

"This is pretty cool, actually. Humans don't have this. They don't have red eyes or white hair either but geeze this is..." He felt cool lips on his, and he smiled, brushing his fingers through the troll's hair, rubbing his thumbs against the base of his horns.

"Thanks, Dav-ve."

In another bubble, another Eridan was attacking another Dave. It wasn't going well. Eridan would fall, get back up, attack, and fall again.

That bubble didn't matter to them.

Only here and now where Dave's lips pressed against his web-bound fingers.

Eridan moved his fingers away, pressing his lips in, in their place, his clawed hands gently roaming over the other boy's body as their legs tangled together in the sheets, hips pressed together as they exchanged whispered sweet nothings.

The light washed over them suddenly, the two of them trying to grab each other's hands as they were torn apart.

"DAV-VE! DAV-VE HELP ME." he was clawing for the human's outstretched hand. 

"I'M TRYING, ERIDUMB. GEEZE." Dave tried to lean over, grabbing for him. Their fingers brushed briefly before the world exploded around them, and they were ripped from their personal paradise

On the other side of the divide the surviving kids and trolls gathered together, eyes bright as they exchanged looks, pats on the back and cries of delight.

"WE DID IT." John shouted, grinning, bouncing about, pausing to take Karkat's hands, dragging him around, much to the amusement of the other three beta kids. "All that's left is to go through the portal! We'll be...we'll be HOME. Ok maybe not home-home but definitely home!" he chirped, shoving Karkat to the portal. "Friendleaders first!"

Together they stumbled forward into the new world, proving to the others that it was perfectly safe, turning to watch as they followed back through. 

Everyone. As the surviving heroes stepped through the Skaian portal onto the revived Alternia, the lost heroes materialized before them, slowly twisting back together into complete trolls. 

Heads knit themselves back on to bodies, leaving ropey evidence of the grisly treatment of their corpses at the hands of the mad Subjuglator. Holes in bodies filled in, weaving shimmering scars over reconstructed bones and organs. 

Three dead versions of Sollux slammed brutally into the living body, making him stumble and gasp. His vision didn't return, but he was whole, otherwise.

Nepeta's front was pulled back together. Equius' crushed throat expanded again, the arrow that had burrowed into his knee disappearing in a splash of light.

Doomed selves appeared like ghosts, wrapping their bubble born memories into the minds of everyone, evolving them, making them cringe at their own memories, or glance at each other in concern, faces flushing with the colors of embarrassment, anger or jealousy as the matches were revealed with fresh eyes.

At the end of the line, Eridan's severed torso was knitting back together. Kanaya's eyes fell on him and her chainsaw came out, primed.

When the light returned to his eyes she advanced on him, but Dave caught her by the shoulder and squeezed, lowering his glasses to narrow his eyes at her.

Beyond their sight, Eridan turned, running as panic gripping him. He'd betrayed them at LEAST once. There was nothing stopping them from taking further revenge. He didn't doubt they would. He dove into the closest lake and hid, diving down as far as he could.

Would they tell Dave what he'd done? Would he hate him for it? Would he want him? Did he want to know?

No. Better to just hide. Never be seen.

As the perigrees went on, he would rise to the surface, watching them in the night, living vicariously as he watched them work and laugh, interacting easily. Sometimes he imagined himself among them, shoulder to shoulder with Karkat, gossiping about who was flirting with whom and how. 

He'd remember the dream bubbles where he and the others had still been friends, and feel his blood pusher contract painfully, making him gasp and dive under, dragging himself out of any potential sight.

He tucked himself under lily pads or in fields of fresh water algae, listening to their voices as they carried into the water.

He could see the purple pollution of his tears as they flowed freely, and he hugged himself tightly. Now he knew what Karkat meant by 'my past self is an idiot'. His really was. 

He found himself sitting on a rock at the edge of the lake, arms on his knees, curled up behind tall water grass fronds as he watched them while they fought over something or other, laughing and snarking good-naturedly. He imagined himself next to Feferi, laughing at the way the humans were going on, and the way the other trolls were cheering for one side or the other. 

He could see Dave-He was moving his hands at another-he'd seen it before but he hadn't understood. It didn't matter. He couldn't hear the interpretation. It just looked... 

It looked strikingly beautiful.

The blond looked at him and Eridan panicked, blood pusher constricting to the point of pain. He stood and soundlessly dove into the water, kicking down to the bottom. He heard a splash, felt the water ripple. He turned and saw the human who'd seen him, and dragged himself through kelp and lily root, pulling himself into the under water cave and up into the air pocket. He wrenched his shirt on, then threw himself on his cape-covered kelp pile.

Eridan had made this into a make-shift hive after he'd run from Kanaya. It wasn't great, but it was his, and it was....cozy He wanted to stay close to the others, but not be seen. If he'd been above ground, he'd have been found, and Feferi barely ventured into the water anymore. He'd seen the salt-water pool they'd made her.

The lake was his, now. 

He curled up on the pile, pulling his knees to his chest.

"I w-was just w-watchin'. They can't say I w-was doin' too much w-wrong. I didn't do anythin' wrong. It's okay 'cause I didn't do anythin' w-wrong." he whispered. 

Dave was coming to cull him. He was going to be culled and there was nothing he could do. 

His hand pressed to the shining scar seam under his shirt, 

He felt tears well in his eyes, purple streaming on his face, over his nose, down the side of his face. Tears were weird, when you laid on your side, he mused. It distracted him-but only for a minute. He sat bolt upright when the water cracked with a sort of splash, the blond, red-eyed human pushing himself up on the bank of the air pocket.

"Oh cod. Oh cod please don't cull me. Please. I'll leav-ve. I'll...I'll go to the other side of the planet I just... I don't w-want to die again. I just w-wanted to w-watch. I'll leav-ve. I promise. You w-won't hav-ve to see me again I just... I don't want to die." It was embarrassing how fast those words became a pleading keen, how tight he rolled up, how desperately he didn't want to look the human in the eye.

Those eyes were a death sentence in his mind. He was going to die if he looked up-he was going to die anyway, but he wanted to breath a little more before everything stopped, this time. Dream bubbles didn't exist. He'd be alone with the horror terrors for everything he'd done before.

He'd never be flushed with someone(Not Dave, not anyone else). He'd never be able to apologize to anyone(Not Feferi, not Sollux... Not Kanaya... ). He'd never be able to atone for his sins.

He'd just be gone, and no one would mourn his passing. No one would have a positive thought for him.

'Do I even deserve a positive thought, though?'

Something warm and soft rested on his shoulder, creating a wrapped pressure, and he dared to look up.

There was a concerned look on the red-eyed human's face, though he said nothing.

"You're goin' ta kill me, aren'tcha?" he whispered. "they sent you to, right?"

He shook his head, sighing, pulling Eridan's hand from his knees, tugging gently, pointing back at the water.

"...So they w-want to do it, w-where ev-very one can see?"

A frustrated look crossed the humans face and he tugged again, pulling Eridan from his pile to the water, dragging him under, pushing them out of the cave in a quick, impatient manner, trying to navigate around the kelp and roots, dragging them to a side of the lake where he could crawl on rocks and jump them to shore.

Once they were out, the blond haired, red-eyed human was dragging a stumbling, panicking Eridan to camp. His hand snapped out and grabbed the lavender eyed blond by the shoulder, turning her toward them. His hands flew in elegant forms for her, posture reading 'frustrated' in a very clear manner.

"He says 'what the ever loving fuck are you doing hiding out there when you could be here with the rest of us?'"

"They don't w-want me here. I w-was horrible." he said after a few minutes, meekly hiding behind Dave.

Another flurry of hand movements and a reply came.

"'That's bullshit. You're staying with me today.' By which I mean with Dave." She said, shrugging. "It looks as though you're stuck with us, Mister Ampora. You're going to have to change clothes. You're soaked to the bone, and while I understand that to be the nature of sea dwellers, I also understand the water to be a lot warmer than the air, and I believe those of us who are warmer blooded who wish to share physical contact with you don't want to be frozen or made soppy by your clothing." she shooed them. "Go get dry clothing on, mister Ampora." she turned and went back to what she was doing, humming as she went.

Eridan blinked twice and looked at Dave, frowning.

"How...how did she know w-what you w-were saying?"

Dave held out his hands, looking between them, and Eridan.

"You talk w-with your hands?" he frowned deeper, looking up at Dave, who nodded at him. "...w-well that's interestin'. You nev-ver told me that..."

Eridan sat next to Dave at the fire before sunrise, cringing when the others looked at him. So many doomed selves settled in his mind, whispering shame on him, telling the alpha what a horrible job he'd done. Prince of Hope, indeed. He'd certainly done his job, hadn't he?

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and a nubby horned troll leaned in, scowling at him. "Listen, you scum guzzling water sucker, no one actually hates you." he shoved Eridan to the side, scooting him close to Dave, who quirked a brow at him, adjusting to the position by draping an arm over Eridan's chest. Karkat frowned, eyeing them, peering close. "Holy shit you're flushed for Strider!"

"Shut yer protein chute, Kar. Don't gotta go shoutin' it at the whole cod damned world." Eridan flushed, and Dave gave one of his heaving chuckles, squeezing Eridan lightly. The human twisted around and pulled one of his legs under Eridan's body, dropping said leg down on one side of the trunk they were sitting on, pulling Eridan against him, signing around him.

_ive been tapping this ass since the fucking dream bubbles bro_

_nice and hot and round_

_so fi_ -

"Shut up, Strider, no one cares." Karkat hissed, smacking Dave on the forehead. "Eridan. We don't hate you. we know you're not just who you were in the alpha line. Now stop acting like a bitch who's been beat by every master it's ever had." He shot to his feet and marched over to John, flopping down next to the laughing boy.

Eridan whined, shuddering against Dave, who nuzzled his neck and sighed, pressing a kiss there, hugging him close.

The revolution began with Terezi's fall, unofficially. Officially it had been the fall of the lovers, their leaders, that had really gotten things going. The remaining Heroes had expected to fall to the war, in battles where people would see it... but... It wasn't even a battle that had taken the younger Strider brother from his sea-born mate. It was an execution.

Dave and Eridan had been walking in the open. In retrospect, it was a horrible idea. The human was explaining something to the troll with his graceful, swimming, deliciously distracting hands. Hands that had prevented the prince from noticing the sniper, or hearing the bullet.

It was only by Dave's skill that Eridan had been spared--the god had flash-stepped in front of the bullet and taken it for him. Eridan knew it was a snap decision but... 

They'd already lost a lot of their friends-Nepeta, Feferi, Gamzee, Tavros, Jade, Vriska, John, Karkat, Sollux, Terezi...

The blond's death though, was one that pulled him to a stop, stunned and terrified, not knowing what to do or where to turn. Aradia darted out from the forest, grabbed him, threw him back, sending him stumbling into the trees as she darted toward the line of fire..

"ARA?! My matesprit! DAV-VE. DAV-VE." he keened, trying to dart back out only to be grabbed by a sweating fool with a grip that was far too tight and far too kind, held firm against a wall of flesh.

"She's a god. If she survives, she'll be able to fight again. YOU would be killed. You haven't got your weapon." Equius reasoned, holding the troll for whom he held so much disdain. 

Eridan felt himself beginning to cry. The loud sound built around them, and only grew worse as he watched Aradia fall.

Equius held him tighter, forehead pressed against the back of Eridan's head, carrying him back to their hide out.

The troll cried for what felt like a full perigee, before a decision was made.

"I'm goin'."

"Going where?" Dirk asked, looking up from a bot he was building.

"I'm goin' ta break them from the inside. I'm goin' ta make 'em pay for my matesprit. For our friends. For all them humans and all them trolls." his hands were clenched, words growled between his teeth. "I'm goin' ta join in as a spy and make them pay. I'm goin' ta make them HURT."

Kanaya frowned at him, sitting beside Rose. The two of them had been pouring over a battle strategy book, but this caught her attention.

"Eridan. Are you certain this is wise?" she asked carefully, and he lifted his chin, looking at her with a haughty expression.

"I'm a prince. I should act like it, and at least pretend to take my rightful place in the armada. I can do more good from the seat of a ship, than I can here on the ground."

"Don't get killed." Equius sighed, rubbing his forehead, dabbing the back of his neck with a towel. 

A little shuffling went on to the side and a small, red and blue chip with a silver libra, and cancer decal at the center, was placed in his hand.

"If the chance comes, spread this like wild fire." Dirk said. "Make their deaths worth it."

It was easy, convincing the soldiers that he'd flipped. It was easier stepping onto the ship. It was incredibly difficult though, he found, to be kneeling before the Condesce and whispering lies of loyalty to her feet. This was for Dave. Dave deserved this sort of revenge. Dave deserved to have the empire brought down for him. Dave who'd made him, first a friend, then a lover. Dave who brought him home. Dave who gave him a life again when he thought his was so thoroughly over.

He rose through the ranks quickly, taking a ship with the authority of one who'd been meant for it their whole lives.

When they were far enough from the fleet, he stopped the ship, standing on the bridge, the crew organized before him.

"Hav-ve you heard of the fall of the Jov-vial, the Suffering, and the Sacrificial?" he said to them, calmly, eyeing them.

There was a collective murmuring and glances were exchanged through out the crowd.

"They were friends of mine." he said honestly, Ahab's crosshairs in his hand. "Friends of my matesprit. The Sacrificial was my Kismesis"

They were focused on him, then. He straightened his jacket, and strode forward. 

"The Sacrificial would have been trapped and made to suffer the way all psionics are. He chose to support the revolution and his friends. He chose to go down with the people he cared for, rather than for people who would use him. The Jov-vial Heir w-was an alien, but he lov-ved our people. He lov-ved everyone. His matesprit, the Suffering Knight, w-was a mutant, but he w-was strong, and smart. They believ-ved w-we, as a species, could be better than w-we are. W-we could be!" there was murmuring, and someone raised a hand from the crowd, shoving others aside.

"BLASPHEMER!"

The gun was raised before anything else could be said by the man. a carefully placed beam of plasma fired, and the man was cut down.

"ANYONE ELSE want to call my friends any form o' blasphemy? 'Cause I'll cut you down too! As of this v-VERY moment, the Beriases is a rebellion ship. If the rebellion wins, everyone will be freed of their duties, INCLUDING the psionic helmsman! Hear that, Aldarr? Yer gettin' out of here if we can swing it!"

The ship's lights danced, and Eridan smirked, smug as those of his people who supported the revolution celebrated.

Nine weeps had passed since Dave's death. Countless Imperialist ships had fallen at the feet of their weaponry. 

Outside the ship, a battle raged on. This time they were losing. He could tell.

"What would you have me do, Captain Ampora?" Aldarr asked, leaning forward from the center of the ship to look at the sea dweller.

"You can calculate the chances a' us gettin' outta here just as easily as I can, 'Dar. Our best course a' action right now is to go down in a blaze of fire, broadcasting the rev-volutionary message." He lifted his face to look at his friend, smiling sadly. "C'nya do that for me?"

"Yes sir, Captain." he sank back in, and in a moment he heard Karkat and John, in their age old message from the beginning of the revolution.

_"Listen up, fucknuts. The empress is off her fucking rocker. This tyrannical reign of hers is only making people miserable. Think about the things you've wanted in your life. Is this what you want? Do you WANT to be culling wrigglers and lusi?"_ He remembered Kar's face. This was right after Terezi's death.

_"We came here because it was the right thing to do. There are more of you than there are of us, and we can help you. You shouldn't have to think about life as conquering or killing! Life should be about fun and friends and family! You should LIVE."_

_"Oh god, help me. My matesprit's drowning me in sap. Help! He's going to choke me on this sugary sweet bullshit. But he's right. Get your cranial bones out of the empresses nook and look at what she's done to the universe, turn back to your planet and help your wrigglers. Fucks' sake--"_

The message carried on, but Eridan's eyes had gone misty. The day they'd recorded that, he'd been right there next to Dave, holding his hand. That was HIS moirail they'd lost, and humans WERE capable of moirailiegence...

"Captain... Are we ready?" Aldarr asked, leaning forward once more, speaking over the rambling tones of Karkat and John.

"Did you send it through the netw-work to the other ships?" Ampora looked up at him, lifting his chin, straightening himself.

"They're transmitting it as far as they can. They can't afford to kill all the helmsmen. We're indispensable."

"You'd think that, w-wouldn't you?" Eridan mused. "But they beat Sollux down pretty fast, rather than snatching him up and loading him into the system."

"You have a point, good sir." Aldarr snarked, rolling his green-and-yellow eyes. "Our broadcast went through it's first cycle just now."

"Then turn us into the turret fire and send us out in a blaze of glory, Aldarr Valrat, and switch on the second mix."

"Yessir."

Karkat and John's message was followed by a carefully spun mix of songs designed to rouse the empire to rebellion, and Eridan smiled fondly. Dave was in the room with him with his mix. 

He thought it would be painful, dying again. He felt almost at peace. He'd EARNED this.

He didn't expect to wake in a wriggling pit. He didn't expect to be picked up by a grey eyed, gnarled Strider. He didn't expect to have him fight for him, or to fight for the man himself, ward off other lusi and trolls as the man grew too old and weak to tend to him.

He didn't expect to stumble upon a familiar face when the man's time came to a close, either. The man had inadvertently brought him home.

"Dav-ve." Eridan whispered, patting the small, pasty human on the shoulder, half awake in the twilight, sweeps after he'd come to live with him (and his elder).

Dave smacked at his hand, then his face, huddling up in a ball, hauling some of the blanket around him like it would protect him from everything and everyone. It might be time to wake up, but he wasn't going to make it easy.

"Dav-ve. Wake up."

The twelve year old rolled on his side to stare up at his nearly fifteen-sweep-old friend, throwing his hands through a set of signs.

_the suns setting bro_

_that means this strider gets to sleep an hour or two before having to wake up and play lusus_

"I w-wasn't asking you to play lusus for me, Dav-ve." he soothed, laughing softly. "I just. I'm leav-vin' soon, so I w-wanted to make sure you had somethin' so you wouldn't forget me."

_fuck you ive only shared a bed with you for three sweeps_  
_like i could forget cold toes on my legs_  
_gods eridan you suck_

"Just w-wake up you demented little pre-lusus. Don't make me stick my hands on your neck." he wiggled the webbed offenders.

_fine asshole im up_ Dave slid out of bed, flipping him off.

With a scrape of metal on wood, one of the rings Eridan ritualistically removed each night was pulled from the table. 

"C'mere." he spread the webbing between his fingers as he grabbed for the human's hand. "An' don't try an talk. Jus' listen." he looked up at Dave seriously, holding the ring in one hand. "This ring here has been in my line for millennia. It's v-very important to me, but so are you. An' I'm leav-vin it here w-with you so you hav-ve somfin' a me to hang on to. Think a it as a promise. I'm comin' back for ya, Dave. I'm comin' back an we're gonna get a handle on this quadrant thin' and figure ourselves out once an for all." 

The ring was pushed on to Dave's thumb, after Eridan tried the ring, middle, and index fingers. His hand was just too small everywhere else.

"I'm comin' back, as soon as I can. I promise."

In Dave's sylladex there was a ring, so much later. Now a real lusus himself, nearly full grown, he could probably wear it instead of tucking it away, out of sight...

Gold, gaudy and heavy, set with a carved piece of purple, veined sugilite-If one looked close enough they'd see the symbol for Aquarius.

Every year on a specific night, Dave would climb to the highest point that was safely available, and stare at the sky with that ring on his left ring finger, the hand kept close to his chest. He'd count stars and look for ships, and try to guess who was on them.

_im keeping an eye out for you ampora_  
_youd better not let me down douchebag_

"Dad?" John peered up at him. "Are you coming inside? Everyone's here."

Dave sighed, sliding from the roof, giving the sky another glance. 

_come back before i get used to being a dad for real_


	11. you're a mean ugly douche!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My birthday is in ten days. I'm updating twice this month to celebrate.

Karkat woke up hours later to the sound of a music box by his ear. Hovering above him was the nervous face of a blue-eyed lusus- a human- who was eyeing him as though he was some sort of precious something that he shouldn't even be breathing around, something that would break if touched. It was a familiar expression, though the young troll couldn't exactly place it, and it made him want to punch the person in the face, or run in terror. He chose the second.

"What the fuck? Who are you? Where's Dave??" He shouted, scrambling to the far end of the bed, eyes wide.

_D-- > Forgive me, master. It is most excellent to see you awaken finally--_

"DAD." he shoved his way around the man, darting out of the room, ramming straight into the back of an olive green overcoat.

"Vrrrow!" the owner squeaked, turning around with wide eyes. "OOOOOH the little fishy wriggler is up~" the girl crooned, looking down and tilting her head at him.  
Karkat flinched and pressed himself against the wall, edging around her as well, as he sought out his lusus and his John. They'd make all this shit turn into sense. They did that all the time. If not now then when?

"Awww, you don't like me, cat-fish?" she teased, poking him in the nose. It wasn't fair, she had superior height and reach. His teeth gnashed at her finger angerly as he batted her away. Rage was growing in him, and he wanted nothing more than to escape this new personal hell.

"Get that disgusting appendage out of my face before I rip it off and shove it up your nose! I don't have the patience for this crap. I don't know you, I don't WANT to know you, and I don't want your foreign FUCKING paws on me." he snarled, scooting past her against the wall, returning to his search. "DAD. DAVE. STRIDER. DAVE STRIDER. DUMBASS. DAD. DAD. DAVE. FUCKASS. JERK. MORON. IDIOT. DAD. DAD YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD I NEED YOU YOU SAID I'D BE OK DAD."

No one was coming. He couldn't hear the familiar footsteps of his guardian. He didn't know his way around the building. He didn't even know if his Lusus was even THERE.  
Hell, he didn't even know where he was.

All he knew was that there were strange people making uncomfortable physical contact with him, he didn't like it and he wanted the familiar contact of the people who'd been with him nearly as long as he could remember.

He found the end of the hall; A dead end, and he whined loudly, looking back in the direction he'd come. It shouldn't be this big, how did John make this place so big?

He decided it was perhaps best to curl up in that space and hug his knees. Crying sounded pretty great too.

Minutes passed, or seconds, he didn't know. Telling time was hard when you were upset (even harder when you were upset and didn't understand your numbers yet) and his self pity party was interrupted by the sound of bare feet on wood, claws and a familiar cry of his name unhindered by forest or lake sounds.

"I say! What the devil do you think you're doing?? Get back here young man!" another troll chided what he could only assume was his John, in a very old Terran manner as the floor thundered. Wind brushed at Karkat's face and he looked up just in time to find himself being bowled over by his quadrant hopping other half.

In the space it took to suck in a deep, lung filling breath, Karkat found his beloved Yellow blooded companion perched on his legs, all four eyes welled with tears.

"I thought you were gonna DIIIIIIIIIE." spindly arms wound around Karkat's neck, and the pinned troll found himself clinging to John just as desperately.

"You idiot. You think I'd just leave you behind like that? How long have you known me??"

"Forever and ever! But you still got really hurt and you don't look good and I got scared and DAMNIT KARKAT I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET QUIT PAPPING ME YOU ASSHAT." John snapped, leaning up to glare down at him as the mutant blood's hand patted at his cheeks.

"I'll stop papping you when you stop looking like you need a moirail." Karkat returned, smirking up at him.

John decided then to make a point out of touching the sides of Karkat's face, studying him intently. His fingers brushed against the bandage covered spaces just behind his jaw, right in front of his ears. This was where his facial fins had been. The stupid, emotion filled appendages that never failed to make John grin when the other was angry. Part of his beloved was gone, a big part.

The sea troll snarled and shoved his hands away with bandaged fingers.

"Fuck, that hurts. John, you mutated lisping SHIT HEAD. Stop touching that!"

"Your fins are gone. It looks weird. I mean really weird." His eyes fell on the hands and he cringed, picking one up to kiss each wrapped digit with a sympathetic, pitying look.

"What? What they're gone??" he whined, reaching up to touch it with his free hand, eyes welling with tears that were quickly wicked away by John's careful kisses.

"You let them use this language at their age?" Jake said from the hygiene block door. Beside him, Dave shrugged, rubbing his hair dry before responding properly.

_if i tell them no theyll do it anyway so really whats the point??_   
_just keep em from killing eachother or acting like total shit heads and help them get school fed and ready to leave this hell hole right??_   
_doesnt say anywhere in there that i gotta keep em speaking proper high blood turns of phrase_   
_and karkat can get pretty damned creative with his cursing when hes on a roll_   
_break out the popcorn were in for a show or some shit_

"You and Dirk are almost exactly alike in parenting style. If I didn't know what he looked like everywhere I'd probably have to double check." The troll chuckled.

"Gu-ROSS. Gosh Papa! That's GROSS." A green blooded girl with horns like upright dogs-ears chirped, dancing around his knees. "Dad put the locks down on the hive-house so we could come here toooo!" she darted over to John and Karkat, grinning at them. "Oh my GOD you have no idea how good it is to see you guys again! I mean look at you! You're just as close as ever!"

At those words John and Karkat shared a look, then peered at her as they disentangled themselves, straightening to stand side by side with their fingers brushing against each other for reassurance.

"Um... What?" John murmured dumbly.

"Yeah, who the hell are you?" the red blood pronounced, exasperation in his voice.

"Jade, you idiotic fuckass!" She snapped, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed as she sized the pair up. "Gotta admit, you guys don't look much like I remember. I mean wow, I didn't know you were a fisher troll, Karkat! Or that you'd come out a psionic, John. Look at you! Jesus fuck."

"...Dirk are you hearing this?" Jake peered into the kitchen. "It seems we're not even minutes here and Jade's already cursing in the worst way." he chuckled, seeming to get a response, because he returned with:

"our little girl is growing up... Are we allowed to train her now?"

John and Karkat didn't know what to make of all the noise, simply deciding to press close to one another. It was going to be a long night.

Hours passed, loud with the other young trolls in the place. John told Karkat about their arrival, how he'd been rushed into their newly built hive, how John had been barred from the room while the adult human cleaned up the wounds from the attack in the woods. He spoke of his irritation with the cat troll(something the pair grew to agree with as she and the dog-troll seemed to butt heads throughout the afternoon, teeth bared, growling and hissing at each other as they were made to work together.)

It was hard getting used to the lessened sensation of currents rushing around his face. The fanning of the fins he wore behind his cheeks, before his ears, gone. He had to adjust to the way the water moved by the feel of it in his hair and on his shoulders.

On land his ability to hear had fallen. Everything sounded muted without the extra lift of vibration the fins had given him. John picked up on this easily, lifting his voice to fill his closest (only) friend's ears with the sound he needed to understand his words.

It was an action quickly picked up on by Jade, who spent a lot of time with her voice raised anyway(something the adults had been trying desperately to break her out of.) She spent a lot of time grinning at them, which was unnerving on it's own. She knew something. She wasn't letting on but whatever it was she knew was big. She'd drop hints now and then.

"I can't believe you two managed to wind up together. You always WERE super cute together. Even with all the snapping and yelling, and gosh, even fighting or black flirting, and then red. See? I told you it would last!"

The words dug under Karkat's skin. Their suggested knowledge of things that he couldn't remember was setting him on edge and...

"What the ever loving FUCK are you gabbing on about? Did your pan crack while you were creating that weird little fantasy? You seem to have decided, while vital fluids were seeping from your aural canals, that you should just spout whatever contrived nonsense swirls to the top of your imagination. You keep making us feel like we're missing a joke, peppering information and refusing to expound on it. You sit there with your high horns and perfect FUCKING genetics making us feel like bigger, more incompetent freaks and you expect us to just accept your moronic supposed omnipotence. If you know something, come out and say it rather than giving us a wink and a chuckle."

"If I just TOLD you, you wouldn't believe me. AND." She grinned brightly at them mischieviously. "Once again you're the last ones to wake up! I'll bet Terezi's already awake and she isn't even BORN yet. Gosh! Sleepy heads."

"What do you mean awake?"

"You're still sleeping up in your head, silly. If I woke you up now you'd be all discombobulated." "Says you."

"Karkat, Jade's like three sweeps older than us. I think she might know more about things than we do." John set a hand on Karkat's shoulder. "Maybe we chould trust her, just a little bit?"

"John shut your gaping protein chute. Your lisp is pissing me off and making me want to punch your face in to make it stop." Karkat snapped his teeth on the words, glaring at the boy he was being raised with.  
John's face warped from scandalized, through 'hurt' to intense anger as tears welled in blue eyes.

"OH. Soooooooo sorry something that's out of my control like my god damned mutation is so irritating to you, oh prince of douchebags. I'll shut my mouth in a minute but I've just got one little tiny chitty bit of information for you, Karkat Vantas. Your face fins were stupid but I miss them already because they were a part of you and I really liked you! You were a mean, ugly douche with stupid fins now you're just a mean ugly douche. Like, really mean!! I hate you!" he shouted, psionics snapping around his horns, sparking on Karkat's skin. "You've just got to be an ass about everything. You never change! After all of that. After the way..." he put a hand to his forehead and ground the heel of it into his eyebrow.

"John I..." karkat started, looking at John worriedly.

"YOU'RE AN ASS. SHUT UP. I don't even want to look at you right now." he turned on his heel, running down the hall, disappearing around a corner.

"Oh dear." Jade sighed, tapping her toe thoughtfully. "You really need to watch what you say Karkat. It's always been a point of contention with you and well...everyone."

Karkat growled at her, launching himself at her--Only to be relocated to the yard where the cat girl he now knew to be called Nepeta was peeling root vegetables with a mowhawked human companion.

"KARKITTY. Hey there." she purred, pausing to ruffle his hair. "You came out to help me peel?"

"No I did not come out to help you scrape the dirty skins off tasteless vegetables that are only meant for consumption by idiots." he snapped, glaring at the house, wondering how he'd gotten outside.  
The little companion (who sported a round circle-shaped scar on either side of his head) peeked over the girl's knees to wave at the troll. They'd been introduced earlier in the evening, and gotten on well enough.

"Yes. Hello to you too, Tavros. now...do...whatever it was you were doing. I'm going inside."

"NOPE. Karkitty, you're staying out here with your good ol' cousins Nep and Tav. You know why?"

"No, enlighten me oh wonderous cat girl who never once was actually a cat." Karkat said, acidic venom in his voice.

She huffed, rolling her eyes.

"You're out here because you pissed Jade off. She's retaliated. Cool down in the lake or something or you're going to have to deal with her meowr."

With that Karkat flopped down on the grass next to Tavros, who deposited a brown tuber in his hands.

"I think you should help too." Nepeta offered, watching as Tavros retreated to her side and returned to the chore.

"Oh fuck you." he snapped, starting in on the share she alotted him. If she wasn't going to let him leave, he may as well...


	12. reuniited and iit feel2 2o good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my birthday was more hectic than I thought, so this is my birthday update, five days late.

_i dont exactly know why i didnt remember this stuff from before but all of a sudden its like looking at them and theres this sense of what they were or what theyre supposed to be and its just_

"It's quite unusual, yeah. Just close your eyes, take deep breaths, and...do whatever your powers tell you to."

 _the lusus in me wants to freeze them in time and never let them go but  
_ _freezing was never my thing  
_ _thats the maids thing  
_ _not the knight_ Dave's hands rolled through the signs as he let out a low, frustrated sigh.

 _You're letting yourself think too small, Dave._  Dirk chastised, a smug smile on his face. _What did John look like when you saw him in your dreams?_

i dont know he was john He threw his hands up, frustrated. blue pajamas derpy smile  
 _with bucked teeth and glasses and funky hair  
and this stupid hood that went on for-_

John ran into the guest visiting block, throwing himself across Dave's lap.

_and the complete lack of tact look at this little shit_

"Daaaad. Dad Karkat's a butt." he whined,  letters slurring together under a lisp, wrapping his arms around Dave's legs. The wiggler pressed his face, yellow with tears dribbling from his eyes on to Dave's pants. It wasn't but a moment before the young man had him scooped up to his chest, rocking him lovingly, pressing his cheek into the boy's head.

"He's always a butt, John. He will always be a butt." Jade informed him, bouncing into the room to crawl up into Dirk's lap. "He'll come back complaining about how his past version is an ass and 'please forgive me'. Don't worry."

"How do you know? You met him like, a week ago or something."

"I know. Don't worry. I know a lot. I know that your favourite colour is blue, that if I sat you down in front of a piano you could play Beethoven without looking at sheet music. That you like flying more than anything. Please. I know my best friends. Just because a lot of you are older than me. Sheesh." she stuck her tongue out.

"How do you know my favourite colour?"

"Green! You don't wear it because we're hemotyped and you haven't gotten a chance to break any rules yet, so you say it's blue because it's the same colour as your eyes and your god tier, and gosh well pretty much everything. It's a pretty important color." Jade pointed out.

"How are they important? Are you crazy?" he snapped, one of his horns receiving a reprimanding pop from a flicked finger. "Ok. Maybe you're crazy, maybe you're not, but I don't have to believe you."

"You will, soon enough." she chirped, crawling up and leaning back against Dirk.

"Jadine, remember that talk we had about being an annoying prat and being the most cryptic you can possibly be?" Jake warned, peering at the top of her head making her tilt back and grin at him.

"OH You guys were being serious? Oops." Jade giggled.

"Yes, we were being serious, because taunting people with things they don't know yet is exponentially unfair." Jake chastised, frowning. "You know better than that you malicious little psychic."

"bleh!" she stuck her tongue out, rolling her eyes. "It's not my fault you're all 'normal'."

It was in that moment that John decided to ignore them in favour of being gathered up and rocked by his lusus. Dave was one of two centers of his world just then, but he couldn't help wondering if there was something else to their relationship, something old and friendly. If they weren't always father and son. Not something sexual but

That was silly though. It couldn't possibly. It wasn't as though he believed Jade or anything, but if he was going to believe someone he just met, who'd invaded his home. There was just no way.

Part of the evening passed with the adults talking in alternating voices and hand signs, letting the wrigglers fall drowsy and silent as midnight approached.

The amicable calm was broken by a cry from the front of the house. Something vaguely nostalgic to the psionic mutant.

"Araaaaaaaadiaaaaaaaa. You can't just walk in there!" a female sort of voice, barely older than Jade, perhaps, shouted from the door, and three sets of footsteps made their way down the hall. "It's not your hiiiiiiiive! No I know it's not mine either but gooooooood!"

She drew her letters out eight counts, and John smiled to himself, eyes closed, enjoying the sound so unlike his lusus-mate.

"Stop yelling. You're hurting my auditory receptors!" a second voice-a young, lisping voice- muttered, close to the door, making the four eyed troll lean up and peer over Dave's shoulder. The voice pulled on a vague memory. Blackened eyes and missing teeth, a mischievous grin, a warm hold and peace. An all encompassing sense of peace.

John felt Dave shift and opened his eyes to watch as the human tilted his head back to peer at the door, and gave the newcomer a grin and a wave. A woman with long, wildly curling pale hair and rust-red eyes waved back. A friend of his lusus? It was clear she was one too; she was followed by a little troll with a hetero-chromatic eyes and...four horns. Another aspect of the voice that pulled on the young psionic.

He was out of Dave's hands and over the back of the couch in a matter of seconds, scrambling and stumbling over to the other psionic with wide eyes and a big grin, presenting a hand to the other psycho-kenetic(well he assumed that was the other's situation. He couldn't possibly be anything else)

"HI. I'm John. You're like me, aren't you? A psionic. Can you make things move too? What about wind? Can you control it?" A wide grin spread on his face and he felt 

"Woah that's a lot of words at once." the other boy groaned, rubbing his head. "Calm the fuck down."

"Yeah, Kar's always on me about talking too much too fast, but he's an ass so I figured it was a Kar thing. Guess it's not, huh?"

"Oh mother FUCKER. There's TWO lisping idiots now?" Karkat said from the door, and sparks flew between John's horns. "Do we have to go through this? Can it be optional or what?"

"I'm not done being mad at you yet, Karkat. Go back where you came from or I'm going to hang you from your pants high up in a tree and watch you swing back and forth on a breeze." John growled, pointing toward--some place other than there. "I'm so tired of you being an insulting fuck-nugget! You act like you're the only troll in the universe worth listening to and it's OLD. We're not even that old yet and your shit is old!"

"Nice imagery there. Needs more creativity." The new guy critiqued, sighing heavily.

"...I would but he squirms to the point where he falls off the tree, and dad gets kind of pissed when I do it. It kind of takes away from the fun of it." John sighed, rolling all four eyes at Karkat's angry snarl, which earned a snicker and an echoed expression from Sollux.

"Sooo, you're actually a psionic?" Sollux asked as John hooked his arm through the other troll's and guided him away from the de-finned mutant sea troll, effectively distracting John from his anger.

"As long as I can remember, yeah." John laughed.

"Everythings fun and games till the headaches start, right?" the 

"Ugh don't get me STARTED on headaches. I live with one. His name is Karkat and we share a sleep space usually." He rolled his eyes. "Kicks in his sleep. I'm not sure how I avoid getting bruised... and now we have the coon we're going to be sharing. It's only gonna get worse."

"You share a coon?" the two of them carried on, meandering to the back of the hive. "I thought only lovers and quadrants did that."

"We've always shared... I don't know... Are we a quadrant?"

"Probably, since only quadrants share space like that." The other youngling nodded sagely.

Dave peeked out of the living room, sighing as he observed Karkat's slow, barely controlled breathing. In one swift movement the seething troll was scooped up into his lusus' arms, growling at the shooshing sound Dave was producing as he carried him to the couch.

"It looks like your charges don't always get along." Jake observed, and Dave gave him a 'no shit' look, sighing as he curled around the slow-calming sea troll to the point where he started to drowse in his lap.

 _what brings you medigo?? it looks like you got your troll replaced-what gives didnt you have a rust??_ Dave finally acknowledged the woman, signing around the troll in his arms. 

 _i w0uldn't say replaced per-say  
_ _his f0rmer lusus killed my charge so i killed the biclopes  
_ _but i felt h0rrible for 0rphaning him especially kn0wing who he is  
_ _and he's an incredibly quick learner  
_ _he already understands signs and we haven't been t0gether very l0ng_ She replied, shrugging.

Karkat watched Aradia and Dave talk, scowling, flattening himself against his adult in an effort to protect him. If Aradia had killed a lusus, he wouldn't put it past her to do it again. It didn't matter if they seemed to be friendly, things could change.

 _D-- > They are at this age_ Equius commented idly, quirking a brow at the woman, tilting his head. _D-- > Have you spoken to your mother?_

 _this is s0 weird_ Aradia eyed him, leaning back in her chair.

_D-- > Agreed, however, I suppose I have to share this: This relationship seems to suit us better_

_i h0pe y0u understand why i have tr0uble trusting you and n0 i havent sp0ken t0  m0ther_

_D-- > You perhaps should. You know she worries and 100% for you to return, often._

Dave and Dirk shared an eyeroll as they began to hash out their problems with their past-again. It was a regular occurance in their family..

_bro you me_

_Kitchen._ The elder finnished with a nod.

 _bringing the kid_ He hefted Karkat up, slinging the drowsy single sweep old sea troll over his shoulder, surging to his feet to let Aradia and Equius have their conversation..

 _Why not? I'd like to get to know yours and you should get familiar with this little hellion._ Dirk scooped Jade up, much to her protest, following Dave out of the room, Jake scrambling after them in confusion. He would never understand how the other two lusi-father and daughter-could carry such anger and confusion from their past lives into the next..

"What are we making?" he asked at their backs, frowning, hoping they'd answer in the kitchen.

_We aren't. We're avoiding awkward situations._

Nights soon began to be spent in large groups of wrigglers and adults talking in various forms. Laughter filled the lawn ring, danced over the lake(a lake, as jade explained, that had been settled by centuries past when they first arrived on the planet, though the ruins were now lost.) Days were spent sometimes in the wrong hive, wrigglers in piles in the middle of the room, in early dawn, rushed off to their homes under heavy cloaks by worried care givers.

The first time a memory came to John he shot up in the coon, screaming. Karkat was curled around him, flinching at the sound, cautiously opening his eyes. Toys and tools flew around their room in violent circles, crashing into walls, breaking windows. John was shaking, crying, gripping one of Karkat's arm.

"John. Jontan. Egbert." Karkat sat up carefully, brushing his slime covered fingers against the other's cheek, finding himself clutched against his chest as the other dug his claws into the mutant's skin.

"They took you. They took you and hurt you and I couldn't thave you and I'm tho sorry I'm so so so sorry." he sobbed, face burried in the crook of Karkat's neck. He could remember every moment, every burst of terror, the way the words felt in his mouth, rang in his ears, the pain as weapons filled his body, the sound of his moirail passing, his mate dying in his arms...

The sea troll rubbed his back, rocking him, the memory washing over him finally, making him cringe, trying not to cry as he pressed his face into the side of John's head.

"Stop that. Stop saying you're sorry. It wasn't your fault. Shut up John. You're being a colossal moron. The universe just decided that was when it needed to fuck us over with a big, spiked torture tool, cunningly disguised as a pleasure device, without using any lubrication at all." he cringed, listening to John sob as Dave cracked the door, peering at them questioningly. "We're ok in here, dad. You can sleep. I've got it covered."

Dave rolled his eyes and walked over, leaning on the coon, brushing his fingers through their hair, giving them a knowing look. 

_i figured it would be time for this soon_

When he leaned back he pulled a small, gilded box from his sylladex, and wound a key, filling the room with an ancient lullaby. It was set beside the coon, and Dave perched on the edge, pulling them over to it, hugging them in the dark room while music swam around them.

It was a relief that Sollux had chosen to make his new hive near John and Karkat's, the three of them falling fast into strong friendships that bordered on romance written in the stars.

There were sparks and flashes, dancing leaves, sticks and stones. Nearly every day was spent with Sollux and John testing their psionics on each other, laughing and snarking, midnights where the three of them sprawled on the ground watching the stars, tossing insults back and forth. 

Hand to hand combat came into the mix soon, the three of them struggling with the discipline, sneaking away to avoid the lessons.

 Sweeps passed, they were all four and a half sweeps now-Nine years as Dave counted it.

Flashes of memory began to come faster, many of them harsh, some them painful, a few of them comforting and peaceful. They'd curl up in a nested pile of leaves and whatever they could sneak out of both hives without Aradia and Dave getting on their cases for it, none of them noticing the knowing looks on their faces.

Several evenings were spent where Sollux was sprawled on his stomach, draped over the John's lap while the four eyed troll carded the other psionic's hair. John would lie back against the red blood who's back rested on the tree they'd built their nest under, chin on John's shoulder, clinging to him softly as they recounted the past. A past in which a large clown was part of their pile, and a blind girl cackled in another room. When that came up, Karkat clung to John tighter, and the four eyed psionic sighed.

"Sollux?" Karkat peered at him over John at him, one evening, half hidden behind John.

"Yeah, KK?" Sollux arched backward, flopped over one of John's legs, the other lazily draped over his back.

"Are we still best friends?"

"You think a few thousand sweeps and a couple of tiffs are going to change anything, dude?"

"So insecure." John chuckled, reaching up to ruffle Karkat's hair. "He asks if we're still gonna be matesprits forever. After everything. Ffff" he laughed, carding his fingers through Sollux's hair, dropping a hand to twist his fingers with Karkat's. 

"Bleh. We're four sweeps. It's not like we can act on Matespritship." Karkat replied, huffy.

"Doesn't mean we're not. We were before we died, we are now." John said confidently, squeezing Karkat's hand, smoothing Sollux's hair. "Jealous, Sollux?" he teased when the other made a grossed out sound

"Not really. I've got other quadrantth in mind."

"I know you do..." John laughed, patting his back comfortingly.

Eventually it had to happen. Sollux got his first taste of mind honey in a controlled setting, making Karkat, Dave and Aradia wring their hands. The adults wanted them to learn, so they were learning.

It was just a drop, just enough for him to learn to recognise what it was. His eyes glowed dangerously almost immediately, red and blue sparks flashing over his horns. Before he exploded in a honey fuelled storm, John was on him, an arm around his chest, boldly petting his head between his horns, raised off the ground by his own psionics to allow him to hover just above the other's head, power grabbing him to contain the other's abilities.

"Shhhhh. Shhhh." he soothed, resting his head against one of his horn sets, waiting for the storm to quell as he guided it up and out to the sky, leaning him back. Sollux released the energy safely, letting himself be lowered to the ground, curling himself around the other.

"J-John..."

"Shhhh. Only peace now."

"...John..." he said seriously, flopping to the ground, exhausted. John sat, leaning over him a bit, patting his cheeks.

"Sup?" he replied, smiling warmly.

"Can we be palemates again?" He held his thumb and index finger up in a triangle.

"Yeah, duh, moron." John rolled his eyes, echoing the action, setting his clawed fingers against Sollux's, forming a diamond. "Forever. Nothing's going to ever change that. Fated, remember? Besides, someones got to have the balls to keep an eye on you."

He removed his fingers and hugged him tight, a rumble in his chest as they settled in together.

Karkat sighed fondly, watching them as they settled back into their usual sort of pile while Sollux got his bearings. It was a signal to leave them be. He wasn't going to interfere in Moirail time. This was sacred; Letting them bond with each other once more seemed like the only thing he could do for them at that time.

As he walked to the adults he caught sight of the relief in their faces and quirked a brow at them.

"What the fuck?"

 _we were waiting for this_ Dave smiled, guiding him back to the training area. If John and Sollux were busy and safe, there was no need for them to be too close to the couple.

Somewhere above them a ship registered the explosion of psionic energy and homed in on their location. The peace they'd settled back into wouldn't last much longer.


	13. Of losses and gains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I update. Sometimes. Minor edits. reuploaded just over a year after the original publication. sigh.

Spring meant that travel was cooler, more comfortable for cool blooded sea dwellers to travel in. That spring was beautiful; Red and blue blooms sprang up in the luminescent pink boughs that covered the roads, and the princess, the little sea tyrian sea dweller with flowing locks danced under petals that rained like tears.  
Just what the trees would have to be crying at was yet to be seen, and the lavender eyed human-lusus wondered at the metaphor to herself, not wanting to upset her charge, or her mate who walked calmly beside her, mumbling her thoughts to her as they moved through the quiet forest.  
Ahead of them was the city woman's twin sister dwelled in. Tall jade green buildings with power wires and clothes lines draped between the buildings. A sight for someone who'd never seen anything but beaches, before. The word of the trip had had the Pisces scrambling around their sea side hive, packing, weeks in advance.  
They'd found their temporary home easily: An apartment above the local outlet of the mated pair's fashion company. Drones smashed down the door of the visiting hive they'd been staying in, storming inside. The lusus snarled, throwing anything within reach, keeping herself between the young royal and the large, broad creatures.  
She was determined not to let her wriggler be taken from her.  
One shoved Rose to the side, as though she was nothing more than a statuary, while a second snatched up her tyrian-purple charge.

Feferi screamed, kicked, snarled, tried to claw her way back to her lusus, though the woman was being pinned down. Lightening sparked around the needles in Rose's hands, but it was nothing a blow to the head couldn't stop. Sharp pain blossomed behind her eyes and the woman gasped, passing out.  
-  
When Rose came to she was in the lap of her pink-eyed twin, with the glowing hands of her rainbow drinker matesprit who was carefully dabbing at her face with a cool cloth.

"Is she awake yet ladies?" a third person, an adult red-violet troll wearing her sign in cyan blue peeked out of the kitchen with a tea kettle in hand.  
"She is, however, Rose seems as though she is dazed." The jade blood replied.

"That doesn't surprise me one bit. My lusus would have been too if it'd been me." the cyan troll, who could only be the 'Jannie' Roxy was always going on about, tutted the glowing troll that was Rose's matesprit. "She took a blow to the head, and her wriggler was snagged right out from her nose." 

Rose rolled away from her sister, who was moving her hands over her head, attempting to communicate with the two trolls who'd been raised by non-human lusi.  
 _Where is Aradia?_  
"She was called to join the march shortly after we left. I have been in contact with her, and she has a wriggler. They are apparently in a city."  
 _Do we know what type she chose?_

"A rust, apparently 'cute as a button'." Kanaya quoted, brushing her fingers through blond hair.  
 _Where is Feferi?? Why were you saying she was taken?_  
"They did take her." The sea dweller said, holding a cup of tea out for her. When had she even gotten there? "I was just gettin' back from collecting supplies and they were marching her off."  
 _You mean to tell me that you, being a relatively high-blooded troll, did not think to stop them?_  
"Honey, she's a princess sitting higher than me. An heiress. There wasn't a dog-gone thing I could have done. It would have been like a bark beast yappin at the sunrise tellin the sun to go back down. 'Sides, they'd have killed me or trotted me off with them just as easily as they took your girl. Drink your tea." She sighed, nudging the cup into the woman's hands. "We'll get her back somehow. Just you wait."

It was later that week, while she was shifting between mourning and fuming, that the chime on her computer began. She hoped it was Feferi, but the indigo text on her screen spoke otherwise.

 

\--treedJester[TJ] began trolling placidFlower[PF]--  
TJ: RoSe LuSuS  
TJ: GiVe A bRoThEr A lIsTeN  
PF: Please, Highblood. I do require a little time to mourn the loss of my charge. Can you kindly fuck off?  
TJ: YoU wOuNd Me. I'm JuSt TrYiNg To AsK a FaVoR oF yOu.  
PF: Fine, lord Grand Highblood. What can a lowly human lusus do for a troll of such esteemed rank.  
TJ: RaHkAiN. jUsT cAlL mE rAhKaIn. I cAiNt Up An GiVe YoU mY rEaL nAmE sO dO fOrGiVe  
PF: You were alive before humans became Lusi. Surely you know we've been raised to show abject subjugation to our Troll masters.  
TJ: ShIt LiTtLe SiStEr, YoU aNd I bOtH kNoW tHaT lInE iS fUlL oF fAlSiTiEs.  
TJ: LiEs AlL uP iN tHaT sHiT.  
PF: You called it. Woe is me. What do you need?  
PF: Because you're irritating me and making me desire your horns on my wall.  
TJ: chill. CHILL.  
PF: Speak boy. Start barking or I'll block you.  
TJ: I nEeD a FaVoR, rEbEl To ReBeL.  
PF: Like I'll believe you're a Rebel.  
TJ: WhEn tHe jOvIaL, tHe sUfFeRiNg aNd tHe sAcRiFiCiAl dIeD, i cOlLeCtEd tHeIr bElOnGiNgS AnD EnSuReD ThEy wErE GiVeN To tHe aPpRoPrIaTe pArTiEs tO Be eNtOmBeD.  
TJ: If I wAnTeD To I cOuLd hAvE YoU AlL WiPeD OuT, bUt i dEfLeCt tHe dRoNeS To oThEr tArGeTs. ChIlL ChIkA. i'm oN YoUr sIdE.  
PF: You win. Forgive my cynicism. I ask again, however, what in the name of the three do you require of me.  
TJ: I sAw ThE pRiNcEsS tOdAy. ItS nOt GoOd.  
PF: I KNEW THAT. Get to the point.  
TJ: ThErEs An AbAnDoNeD iNdIgO cApRiCoRn. HiS cOoN iS rEaDiNg VaSt AmOuNtS oF dIsCrEpAnCiEs. It SuGgEsTs InGeStIoN rAtHeR tHaN rEsT cYcLe UsE.  
PF: And you require an unattached lusus with generalized communication abilities and rebel connections to check on a wriggler who wears your sign and carries your blood.  
TJ: On ThE nOsE, lItTlE sIsTeR. yOu Up FoR iT?  
PF: Send a transfer with his location.  
\--TJ sent FiNdThIsLiTtLeMoThErFuCkEr.jpg--  
PF: I shall contact you when I have him in my posession. Good morning, Rahkain.  
\--placidFlower[PF] ceased pestering treedJester[TJ]--  
\--  
Gamzee Makara was a sweep and a half old when his lusus went to sea and never returned. Every night for a half-sweep he would pick up a bowl of the sweet goop in his coon(which stayed sweet if you didn't sleep in it, and made the hungry seem less like hungry and more like full, and kept him from freaking out that half sweep)  
The sand was gritty, the ocean was salty, and he was just...there. Chilled and feeling perhaps a little ill, but there none the less, as he was every night, watching the horizon for a Thing Yet To Happen.  
Two and a half sweeps old, and the little wriggler was alone on the sand with his bowl of toxic green slime, while the strange colours of the moons on the water kept him company as best they could.  
A pale, nearly pure white figure dressed in black and lavender started to crest a dune far to his right, and it caught his attention. White strands flew back from the face of the person walking toward him. It's eyes were lavender, and it walked upright. A black skirt rippled back away from it's body, and it was followed, a few paces back, by an older troll who's eyes were filled with jade.  
Something about the fact that there was a tall troll made his blood chill further, and he sank himself in the sand.  
But  
But the lusus's pale, oh so warm hand was resting on his forehead now, petting his hair, a touch of a smile brushing over black lips. Her hand was warm, comforting, calming. She smiled in a way that seemed to say 'welcome home', and he lifted his arms, letting her pick him up.  
"It appears your source was correct. The wriggler has been ingesting the sopor rather than sleeping in it." the troll frowned, looking at the tiny, curly-haired capricorn in the human's arms. The human nodded, rocking the young one, quirking a brow at how quickly he fell asleep, his hands knotted in her shirt as though he was afraid she'd abandon him as well.  
Rose glanced at Kanaya and then at the horizon, toward the hive they called home, and turned that way, expecting the troll to follow.  
She did, indeed.  
'I only hope that this fills the void, Rose.' she thought, carefully picking her way through the sand, down the great expanse of beach. Together they traversed the miles of sand to the spindly, sand-castle like structure Rose's former charge had constructed.  
Kanaya opened the door for them, and Rose walked gracefully to a couch, laying the boy down, careful of his horns.  
"You're really going to keep him, aren't you?"  
 _Yes. He needs a lusus, I need a charge. He needs care. Look at how thin and tired he is? He's so young, Kanaya. he's so young and so lost... she perched next to him, rubbing her fingers over his hands. I can fix him. I can give him what he needs..._  
"He is indigo, Rose. He may never be fixed. They trend toward the insane."  
 _A rumor, nothing more._  
In his dreams he saw blunt horns, reddened eyes, a scowl. He heard a loud voice that snapped on it's words as though it was the authority in all things.  
He heard the tinkling of laughter and golden skin, blue-blue eyes, and a smile that seemed like it could never be broken.  
The flutter of pale hands and flash of pink-red eyes and a subtle smirk.  
The warbling uncertainty of someone who wanted to sound confident, but only managed nervous acceptance. Eyes of chocolate brown and a weak smile that turned dazzling in moments.  
He heard an echo of voices in the dim silence, and splashes of colour-Violet, magenta, jade, olive, royal blue, blue green, teal, brown, rust red, mustard yellow, bright red, middle grey, lavender, brilliant green, orange, pink, cyan, forest green-in eyes, on walls, in symbols on chests, in blood.  
Honks and whispers, shouts, laughter and broken sobs.  
He felt dread, joy, peace, sorrow. He felt the rise of success and the fall of heart break. The pain of a life lived at war.  
In his dreams he knew.  
So young, and he knew.  
His moirail was back. Somewhere in the world, the piece of him that was missing was returned.  
The aching loneliness was suddenly gone.  
He began to live to dream, while the sopor worked it's violent way from his system, while loving hands soothed his forehead and combed his hair.  
In his sleep he saw a pair of grubs, one hazy, not even the focus of the vision. The other was brilliant red, with a scowl on it's face. He watched as the angry grub became an angry wriggler with fishy-fins on it's face--then an angry, crying wriggler with a hacked and torn fin, clutching it's face, going pale.  
"Kar...kat..." He felt as though he'd been hanging on for this, and everything was going to be alright, even if the other wriggler was crying, because help was on the way. "S'okay my best motherfucking Karkat. Someone's comin' soon... yeah..."  
When the following evening came he'd forget it all. He'd try to remember the dream that seemed so heart breaking and so uplifting all at once, and remember only the word 'moirail' being attached to mutant, vibrant red.  
Right then, in the dream, all that mattered was that he was safe, and warm... and that vital part of his soul was finally in the world--he could be content with the Rose human. He'd always liked the Rose one. She was calm.  
Gamzee Makara Lalonde. Yes, that worked. That sounded like a miracle after being alone so long.  
Miracles.  
Those were magical. Those were important. Those kept you grounded. If there was something you didn't now, there was something to marvel at that made life worth living.  
Like light on water.  
Like knowing there was someone out there who would understand you and make you feel at peace.  
Like the warm-fuzzy feeling of being held and cuddled.  
Like having Moms.  
Yeah, life was a miracle. Even if his moirail was crying somewhere. Life was a miracle.

Rose Lalonde regarded her new charge with a grub top perched on her knees. Her face held the hint of a smile as he snuggled up against her side, his horns resting against her leg. He was mumbling in his sleep, hanging on to her skirt, the fabric pulled dangerously close to his mouth.  
\--placidFlower[PF] began pestering treedJester[TJ]--  
PF: You were correct in your assumption that he was ingesting the sopor.  
PF: I do have to inquire as to the rumour of your casts' so called insanity.  
PF: Is that an exaggeration or something I should look out for? He seems quite peaceful, even affectionate right now.  
TJ: ThAt'S sOmEtHiNg YoU'rE gOnNa HaVe To WaTcH oUt FoR.  
TJ: SpEcIaLlY iF hE wAs EaTiN tHe SlImE.  
TJ: KeEp hIm DoSeD iF hE sTaRtS sHiT.  
TJ: HaTe To SaY iT bUt KiDs GoNnA bE a MoThErFuCkIn HaNdFuLl  
PF: I appreciate your honesty, Rahkain. I trust that I can turn to you if he decides it's imperative that he cull the nearby town?  
TJ: HoNk HoNk  
TJ: NaH iTs CoOl LiTtLe FlOwEr SiS  
TJ: I gOt YoUr BaCk  
PF: Thank you. I find that comforting.  
PF: Might I inquire as to his name?  
TJ: ReCoRd SaYs LiTtLe FuCkErS cAlLeD gAmZeE.  
TJ: WhIcH iS kInDa FuCkIn mIrAcUlOuS.  
PF: Why, pray tell?  
TJ: NaH  
TJ: YoU dOnT nEeD tO kNoW tHaT rIgHt NoW.  
TJ: I hAvE tO gO pLaY cRaZy FoR tHe CrAzIeS nOw.  
TJ: UpDaTe Me LaTeR.  
\----treedJester[TJ] ceased trolling placidFlower[PF]--

'Well that was informative, wasn't it, little Gamzee?' she thought, stroking her hand through the matted curls. He was getting a bath, getting his hair cut and combed. He needed someone to prove to him that he mattered, before he forgot.  
She wondered if other lusi would have bothered taking in a new charge after having theirs ripped from their arms.  
She looked at Gamzee and knew she couldn't have chosen otherwise.  
She was sold the moment she saw the fear on his young, drugged face. He was hers, and she'd defend him in the way she failed Feferi.  
Somewhere in the hive a music box was starting to play, and Rose smiled, listening to the simple human lullabye who's words had been lost with their species voices. She wasn't going to fail again.  
A new window cropped up on her pesterchum.  
\--timelessSeeker[TS] began pestering placidFlower[PF]--  
TS: s0 m0m  
TS: d0 y0u kn0w anything ab0ut psi0nic tr0lls  
TS: as it seems ive g0t 0ne n0w  
TS: and he destr0yed the hat dad gave me  
PF: I always hated that hat. No, I really don't know anything about psionics.  
PF: I thought you had a rust blood?  
TS: there was an accident  
TS: resulting in the 0rphaning 0f my new charge and the l0ss 0f my f0rmer  
PF: Your father might have resources for you. I imagine he's also anxious to see you.  
PF: You should drop in on the man once in a while so he isn't pestering me for information every day.  
PF: I won't pretend to know what happened between the two of you, but it needs to be addressed for the health and sanity of all those involved.  
PF: Primarily myself.  
TS: 0h my g0d m0m  
TS: i 0nly asked f0r wriggler help  
TS: n0t a g0ddamned lecture ab0ut n0t fighting with my father  
TS: by the her0s y0ure p0ssibly the m0st frustrating human being ever  
\--timlessSeeker[TS] ceased pestering placidFlower[PF]--  
\--timlessSeeker[TS] changed their mood to offline--

Sometimes being a lusus was rewarding. Sometimes being a mother was frustrating as hell. Maybe this was why Roxy drank.


	14. No one but the Skaian Heroes even remembered her fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't dress this chapter up too much. I didn't want it to be anything more than what it was, because of the initial emotional response when I posted it originally. I'm sorry for holding out on you. I'm posting a short one because I didn't want anyone to feel as though I'd forgotten them. The chapter I've been working on is incredibly long. I'm back in school on the 27th. Commissions are open on my blog over on tumblr, trickstersgambit.tumblr.com. Please look into them. I'd be really grateful.

Terezi's life long goal had been to become a legislacerator. When the opportunity to slip into the position and create some anarchy from within the machine known as her Imperial Condescension's government, she jumped on it.

"Karkles, you KNOW this will be good for the movement."

"We've only been at this for a few months, Terezi. You could die!" he snapped, narrowing his reddened eyes at her.

"This is about more than flushed feelings and our own lives, Karkat! If I stay here, we miss a potentially valuable opportunity! Open those pretty little candy-red eyes of yours and look at the situation objectively." she reasoned, claws tapping at the wooden table the striders had crafted in an attempt to keep occupied.

"COOL KID FUCK HEAD. Get in here and tell Terezi why it's a fucking IDIOTIC idea to go shoving her nose into things like the government! She's YOUR moirail, you talk to her!" Dave stepped into the room, lifted his glasses, and stared right into Karkat's eyes.

im actually in support of her idea

yeah its fucking nuts but yolo

"What the fuck? Yolo?"

you only live once

keep up

and anyway shes pretty much right here

this could be a vital opportunity that were missing by sitting in this bunker twiddling our thumbs wed be going 'gee we should have taken terezis idea when she said lets infiltrate the place'

i think we should be covering all our bases in this damned game

we have a better chance of making a touch down like that

"You're saying you'd rather let her go in and sacrifice herself at the feet of queen bitch if she's caught??"

He pulled his glasses down and stood there for a moment.

answer the memo

"I'm not answering any memos."

answer the goddamned memo vantas

dont make me fuck your shit up

right the fuck now

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board LETS PLAN SOME SHIT FOR REAL YO

CTG: seriously  
CTG: i think terezis idea is probably the smartest shit this groups come up with in a while  
CTG: wed look like assholes sitting around jerking off if we didnt try it  
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to the memo  
CCG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? YOU'RE NOT FACTORING IN FOR YOUR MOIRAIL TO DIE OUT THERE? THE OBJECTIVE OF MOIRAILIGENCE IS FOR A PATRON TO PREVENT THEIR SUBJECT FROM DOING SOMETHING THAT COULD POTENTIALLY HARM THEMSELVES OR OTHERS.  
CCG: THIS FITS INTO NOT ONLY HARMING THEMSELVES BUT OTHERS. IT'S A SELFISH DECISION AND IT WILL CAUSE THE DOWNFALL OF OUR ENTIRE OPPERATION!  
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to the memo  
CGC: YOU'R3 B31NG 4 ROTT1NG BULG3 H3R3, K4RK3LS.  
CGC: L4ST 1 H34RD, YOU W3R3 COURT1NG JOHN.  
CGC: 4ND 1N 4 P4L3 R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH G4MZ33.  
CTG: yeah man make up your mind  
CTG: objecting to this is making you look like a greedy whiney child being told they cant have a friend stay the night   
CTG: not cool dude  
CTG: were adults running a full on rebellion  
CTG: we have to do this smart and take whatever opportunity that happens to hop out and wave its dick at us  
CURRENT caliculasAquarium[CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to the memo  
CCA: i saww dicks  
CCA: not wwhat made me wwant to reply  
CCA: just saying it made me grin  
CTG: you can play with mine later babe  
CTG: back to business though  
CCA: i actually agree wwith davve and ter  
CCG: YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH ONE OF THEM. YOU DON'T HAVE A SAY IN THIS, AMPORA. GO COUNT SHINEY PEBBLES IN YOUR TANK OR SOMETHING.  
CURRENT ectoBiologist[CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to the memo  
CEB: actually, i kind of agree with them too, karkat.  
CEB: terezi's pretty far from being a red-shirt, and we've only lost two out of eight moles in the last two sweeps, so there's a good chance she'll come out of this alive!  
CEB: not to forget the fact that she's pretty smart. i mean in one of her lives she got god tier as seer of mind, so if the pattern keeps up then we're pretty much assured that she's got god tier on her side too! she'll have her abilities to keep her safe.  
CGC: TH4NK YOU JOHN. G33Z3. H3 B3L13V3S 1N M3 4ND 1 K1LL3D H1M ONC3.  
CCG: MAYBE HE'S HOLDING A GRUDGE.  
CURRENT tentacleTherapist[CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to the memo  
CTT: It would behove you to remember that John actually isn't capable of holding grudges.  
CTT: I hazard to go as far as to say that he has almost as much patience and forgiveness as Jesus Christ himself.  
CEB: oh my god.  
CEB: rose  
CEB: shut up.  
CEB: you did NOT just compare me to jesus. silence your blasphemous tongue!!  
CTG: somewhere in the universe a poor blue haired old lady is clutching her pearls and fanning herself  
CTG: trying not to faint because her blasphemy senses are going into overdrive  
CTT: This is the sound of me, rolling my eyes. Listen, there it goes. I'm certain it was rather loud but I could repeat the action if you had a momentary burst of deafness.  
CGC: C4N W3 G3T B4CK TO TH3 P4RT WH3R3 K4RK4T 1S WRONG?  
CGC: B3C4US3 1 W4S 3NJOY1NG TH4T.  
CTT: I would actually like to ring in on this subject. It seems to me that perhaps this plan could use a little more thought?  
CTT: Are we certain this is the only window of opportunity we'll have for this course of action?  
CCG: FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS SANITY!

The sanity didn't last long. Eventually Terezi won.

It was Sollux who went with her to the edge of the forest, where the trees gave way to sand and sea-grass, and ships stood poised to take on the young, ready to leave their nests.

John and Karkat stood back, watching as the two whispered between themselves.

"I think he'll break." Karkat whispered, gripping John's hand. "Don't let him break."

"Dude. It's fine. I got this. I'll moirail the fuck out of him. Relax."

As the young Libra ventured down the sand toward the ships, John and Karkat flanked Sollux, preventing the psionic from running after her, linking arms and hands with his.

They watched as she joined the stream of teal blooded trolls, eagerly walking to their doom. Something happened-They made her remove her glasses. John and Karkat could see that plainly. 

One shot. Two. The three of them flinched, mutant troll, and human alike fought to keep the blinded psionic away from the scene.

The first death of a revolution isn't the one that's heralded. It's never the one that people sing about. Not the one the people at large do, at least.

But for the kids...

The twenty Heroes of the Game, it was the one that got to them the most.

It seemed almost senseless, to them.

No one but the Skaian Heroes even remembered her fall.


	15. The Witch, the Clown, the Spider and the Bull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you a second one because I have a bit of guilt for giving a short chapter. This one is also mostly unaltered from it's original state. I didn't feel it required any fancy flourishes. I am open to critique, and welcome it. Thank you for all the hits, and the reviews you've given me to now.
> 
> I head back to school on the 27th, but hopefully I'll have a lot more chapters up. I realize it's been forever and a year since I updated this regularly but I'd like to get back to it. Please follow the reincarnationstuck tumblr for updates and information regarding my fics. Bluewindyhood is where my art can be found, and my main matches this handle. Please feel free to follow or comment there. Thank you.

They'd prayed they were done with battle when the game ended, settling into a hopeful peace with their friends, laughing and smiling as though nothing had ever happened for them, despite the fact that eight of them were on a planet that wasn't their own. They grew into something of a family unit, acting as lusi and siblings to each other. They developed romances, filled quadrants, made homes. They made plans for raising children, long term dreams of putting together a unified society under a council of worthy individuals elected by the people, for the people, on grounds of their deeds and merits.  
They were crafting an Utopian society.  
Then her Imperial Condescension arrived with her fleet.  
War broke out, soldiers recruiting loyalists among the children who'd been reborn on the planet. Battles broke out, Heroes died at the hands of the empire. Humans were culled on sight, and began to hide in the depths of caves.  
After the fall of the Heroes, Seer of Mind, Knight of Blood, Heir of Breath, and the Mage of Doom, things only got worse. The empire saw them without leaders, without protection.They sprang on them, crafting battle after crippling battle.  
"For the protection of the weak, and the memory of the fallen." Jade had said, looking at her friends seriously, having fallen into a leaderly position when Dave chose following over directing and the higher bloods abjectly refused, giving the humans and low bloods a chance to defend them.  
There came a fateful day, shortly after appointing their leader, that a battle toppled their leadership once again.  
Dusk struck and warriors flooded over a hill, cutting down human and troll indiscriminately. As the battle raged on. All around them metal clanged and psionics popped on skin and grass. The smell of burning foliage and flesh surrounded them, digging into their noses and mouths. Dave danced around the field sword in hand, Aradia's whip cracking in to people's skin, several others frozen by the time duo. It wasn't enough. They couldn't protect everybody. When the call came out to retreat, they gathered people, guiding them back to the tunnels they'd been hiding in, while a handful of fighters stayed on the field.  
Jade, Tavros, Gamzee, Vriska, Equius. Ranged fighters stood on the ridge over looking the fight, arrows flying under Equius' direction, cutting down swaths of enemy trolls and drones. Sharp twangs and snaps rang around them.  
On the field, Tavros and Vriska drew people together, Vriska seducing them forward, she and Tavros both impaling them on their weapons.  
Now Jade stood on the ledge, using her space powers to direct stray projectiles, helping her friends, protecting them from harm. Both she and Eridan levelled Ahab's Crosshairs at the battle, culling as many dangerous foes as possible.  
No one saw it coming, the scythe that pierced Tavros' armor. When Jade saw him fall something snapped, and she disappeared from the ridge, slamming the butt of the gun into the enemy troll's chest, his heart snapping out of his chest, landing some ways away to be crushed under the foot of some unsuspecting fool.  
Gamzee looked at Equius and snapped his bow, handing it over.  
"Anyone comes at you, strangle them. Like I did you all that fuckin while ago. Don't you DARE disobey John-bro." They all knew the order. He narrowed his indigo gaze on the troll and threw himself down, launching himself into he fray with all the fury of a crossed subjuglator.  
Allies were relocated to the caves, though Vriska snarled and threw herself back into battle, and Gamzee did his best to throw Jade off, charging back in without a second thought.  
The three of them fought shoulder to shoulder. Heads severed themselves from necks, people strangled themselves, or impaled themselves, or set themselves on fire. Limbs were relocated, heads were crushed. Sick squelches and blood of so many different colours liberally doused the warriors, spraying on faces, staining god tier costumes, hands, weapons.  
They cackled madly, caught up in battle, in revenge, in anger. Tied to the violence so intimately that they couldn't see past the war that they were trying to end, nor the battle they were fighting. Claw, club, the butt of a gun. Psychic powers that drew warriors in and tore them to shreds. They danced together, weaving in and out of each other, narrowly avoiding their allies rage and weapons.  
Gamzee reached over the girls, smacking a drone in the skull, caving it in as Jade snapped her gun into the gut off a troll, ducking under the other two, while Vriska spun an enemy weapon around and cleaved a troll in half around Gamzee. Intricate motions moved the three of them on a mix of defensive and offensive, never separating, never moving more than four feet away from a central point. They were a unit, living, breathing, fighting as one being over the body of their fallen comrade.  
Roars, grunts and snarls emanated from the mass that was the clump of heroes.  
None of them saw the enemy snipers, too busy focusing on avenging their fallen friend-the friend all of them had some kind of romantic tie to-to see the bullets fly.  
Three clean headshots.  
Three dead sufferests. They fell in quick succession, piling on the first to fall, a picture of loyalty and affection, hands somehow winding up over the heart of their first lost. There was no mistaking it. The warriors were all willing to die for each other, and their cause.  
Gods died heroic deaths, sacrificing themselves for the greater good, and for their friends. There was a reason they were Heroes.  
There was a reason the game hadn't broken them.  
There was a reason the fallen had all been brought back...  
On the ridge Equius roared the retreat. Their leader had fallen, and they needed to regroup.


	16. Extended and Entwined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for art and updated information please see my [fanfic](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com) blog on tumblr. My main matches my writer pseud.

Friends getting together to have children wasn't uncommon among humans. Being lusi made keeping families together very difficult, you were lucky if your charges took to each other enough for you and your lover to stay together to raise the child.

It was made no secret that Equius Zahhak was the last of his line, and his opinions and views on the hemo-spectrum in a village run by the Lalonde clan were looked down upon. Rose had been the only one to tolerate his bigotry, stating that she firmly believed he would one day grow out of it entirely.

Equius Zahhak, named for the Steadfast Heir, was marched at seventeen, without bringing an heir of his own into the world.

Rose Lalonde the sixteenth was ten years old, headstrong, intelligent, and felt a great swell of pity for him. She was determined to break him of his views of the world, and find him a suitable mate, if only for a night, and if only to bring a single heir into the world to carry his name.

She followed the march, and was pleased to find that his charge had chosen to settle close to the human settlements, it made her plans so much easier.

He was reluctant, at first, when she presented herself for self defence training. He didn't want to hurt 'such an important child'(she'd scoffed, batted a hand, and insisted it was for the best that he train her).

In six years, she managed to change his thinking toward the rebellious thoughts of the resistance of the Heroes, though, remarkably, she hadn't managed to make his awkward, submissive self any more appealing to the women of the village, or any passing tribe.

It came down to the night before her own March, and she sat before him, a tea service between them, milk on his side, a small tea pot on hers.

 _I do hope you realize, my sister has decided to break the rules, and it will perhaps result in the continuance of the line falling to me?_ Rose began, frowning at him, the sunglasses all human Lusi wore to cover their eye colour resting, folded, in her lap.

Equius frowned, and nodded.

_I am e%tremely curious as to where you are going with this Rose_

_We are friends, are we not?_

_I should like to think so, after all these years_

_I propose we solve our families mutual problem. I suggest we bring a mutual heir into the world. One, or more than one, depending on whether or not my sister decides to get her act together._

Equius appeared taken aback, but after some discussion, the two came to an agreement.

Ten frustrating months afterward, Aradia Medigo was born into the world, with ancient rusty eyes, so easily confused with the Strider's line markers, that bewildered both parents.

Aradia was raised in concert with the youngest of the Strider sons.

They sat together in the tree, plotting, when they weren't being trained. The ground around them was covered in clocks and tick marks.

Dirk and Equius never could tell what they were plotting, because they always seemed to just be in the yard, goofing off like kids.

They didn't see the berry bushes in the forest the two of them used remnant powers to strip, or the piles of treats recovered in the evening, tucked into handkerchiefs hidden and in knotholes after drying on rocks in the sun.

When the two of them were given their survival challenge at seven, they exchanged mischievous glances and darted into the forest to gather their treats, pocket knives tucked into the fronts of their shirts as they climbed trees and ran over the ground, working together to get their own little hide away built in the depths of the forest.

_dave_

_yeah??_

_are y0u afraid 0f the march_

_striders dont get afraid dont worry maid we cant get played-_

her hand laid on his and he sighed, frowning as he gave her a small nod.

_i am t00_

-

They were standing in the forest, light from the pinkened moon filtering through the leaves. Aradia was teasing him. 

"When are you going to 'tie the knot', 'make him an honest troll', turn him into 'mister eridan strider'?"

_do you ever know when to not ask weird questions medigo??_

"aww, is that a blush?"

_actually i wanted to ask bout that since youre the only other person who knows what forever's like i figured youd best do the honors_

"Well of co--"

the dream cut out in a burst of violent pain and Dave shot up, pulling Aradia to his chest protectively, remembering the shades of rust and crimson as they fell to the ground...

it was a dream, wasn't it?

Eridan came in the cool end of the sweep, and Dave followed him around like a little duck, earning no small bit of teasing from Aradia, and when he left, it was her shoulder he hid in.

They marched the same year, and Dave was surprised to find her at his charge's hive once they got it set up. He was happy when John and Sollux realized they'd been moirails, and fell back into old habits, but...

_i have a pr0p0siti0n f0r y0u dave_

Sometimes Aradia threw him for loops.

A cup had been placed in his hand and the door had been closed behind him. On one hand, Dave was glad he was glad he was being allowed to be alone for this. On the other...

He sat on the bed, looking at the cup, sighing.

'It's not that different from buckets, is it?' he closed his eyes imagining sitting beside Eridan, the sensation of cool, damp flesh on his warm skin sent chills down his spine. 'Just keep thinking about that and everything will be fine...everything will be ok.'

He crafted an image of Eridan in his mind. His eyes would be violet by now, almond shaped, with long lashes...

He always loved Eridan's eyes. They were so expressive. How they darkened when they leaned in for a kiss, wrinkled at the corners when he smiled, tilted down when he was sad. He had a long, regal nose, and full, kissable lips.

He could almost feel those lips on his as he let out a small sigh, imagining them ghosting down his jaw, leaving love bites on his neck.

His hand slid into his pants, and he drew himself out, imagining their hands twined together, stroking him to completion as they exchanged sweet kisses.

The lack of Eridan's weight against him as he climaxed left him feeling empty while the white genetic material splashed thick and sloppy in the plastic cup, and he sighed.

'To the continuance of the Strider and Lalonde lines, and the existence of the human race... Fuck my life.' At least he'd stayed true to his matesprit.

Were they still matesprits?

Did he remember?

Or...

The thought of getting off to the image of someone who thought of him as a moirail made him cringe, and he set the cup aside, flopping backward on his bed.

'i'm not a sick fuck,am i?'

On the first day of the tenth dark perigree, Terezi Pyrope Strider-Lalonde was born. By the time she was six, she was a tattle tale. Rules lawyering the other kids to the point where Vriska would pick her up and actively carry her away from the group to have talks with her about being an annoying little shit.

Dave couldn't be more proud.

_y0u d0n't seem t0 be regretting it as much as y0u seem t0 have th0ught y0u w0uld_

_didnt have to do the nasty with my besty_

i think were good here

_i think we have a helli0n 0n 0ur hands._

_we got her killed by letting her run off and do what she wanted last time_

we owe her a little parenting now

Dave regarded Tavros whispering something to Karkat, who lifted a brow at him, and crossed his arms, scowling while Terezi crawled in the troll's lap with a captive tinkerbull, which was liberated by the mowhawk-adorned human.

_he'll return, y0u kn0w._

_i hope so_

im getting antsy

 _striders d0n't get antsy._ Aradia teased, watching the collection of wrigglers and children, both from the group of Heroes, and simply from the local human settlement, interact as friends.

Far above them, a small mechanical drone hovered, watching the group, waiting for the right moment to alert it's senders to their presence.

The time for the peace to end drew ever nearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for making you wait so long. I'm offering you stories out of the past while I work on exposition. The pacing on these chapters is slightly off because I didn't do much editing to them. Thank you for all the hits, the kudos and the comments. They really make my day.


	17. Mandatory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm throwing up a second chapter that actually advances plot for once. I have a birthday in five days, so I might throw up another chapter then. Might. I don't know. As always, thank you for everything. [This blog](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com) has other information and art for my various fics.

In retrospect, the blow-up was inevitable, and John should have realized it was coming long before it did. Anger and sorrow coursed through the wriggler as he remembered the barbs cast by the sea dwelling mutant. Tears ran down his face and he rubbed his eyes on a sleeve, letting himself be tugged along by Sollux, treking out into the forest for some alone time. The pair needed to talk and it needed to not be near their hives.

"You can't let him get to you, JN. He's just doing it because he's scared." Sollux tried, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"OF WHAT? Of me? I'm just John! I'm not any different in my pan. I mean so what I use different words. It's not anythi--John whined, looking at his moirail with a pathetic, broken expression, sparks dancing around his horns even as Sollux put a finger over his mouth.

Neither noticed the small monitor drone hovering above them, attracted to the sparks thrown by the upset psionic.

"Of the future. You didn't know him before the game. He didn't think he could have a matesprit. He tried to keep his quadrants empty. He wouldn't talk to people with anything other than a defensive snarl." Sollux explained, hugging john close, patting his shoulder as they walked. "Then the game gave us new possibilities and let us make quadrants outside the caste, with no prejudice, hell, even outside the species. Now the world is run by the Condesce and it's pretty much the same thing we grew up with. He's a mutant, he's just as much in danger as he was before, if not more, and so is everyone he loves." John nodded, leaning on Sollux, twisting awkwardly to press his forehead into his neck.

"I noticed."

Sollux sighed, rubbing John's shoulder, leading him to a boulder to sit him down. 

"It'll be ok. He'll realize what an ass he is, and calm down. He'll apologize and it'll be alright again." Sollux knelt in front of his moirail, squeezing his fingers ever so gently.

The drone that watched them set off a signal that went unnoticed by the duo. The feed ran between the drone and it's headquarters. Neither boy had any idea of what was to come.

"What if he does it again?" John whined.

"You have to trust that he'll keep apologizing. He's a moron. It's built into KK's dna. He can't stop being a moron. It's who he is. You learn to accept his apologies and knuckle him in the head every time in revenge." Sollux papped his cheek, laughing softly. "Sometimes I forget, you got Kk as he was coming out of his 'I hate myself, go away while I wallow' phase."

A shadow slid over the moon light, and they both ignored it. It wasn't unusual for a cloud or two to darken the sky.

"And entering into his 'Ok I don't give a shit. wait ok I do let me take care of you-No I changed my mind, I don't give a shit' phase." John giggled, wiping his face on Sollux's sleeve, much to his displeasure.

"Oh gross. JN. Gross. Ew. You have a whole bunch of fabric you could use."

"Both of my sleeves are wet." the shorter of the pair retorted, rubbing his face on the other gold blood's shoulder like an affectionate cat.

"Don't be an asshole." Sollux shoved at him, making John giggle, throwing himself forward to flop over the other psionic. "God damn it JN I said DON'T be an asshole."

John grinned at him.

"Oops. Sorry. Thought I heard 'do'." the boy giggled, rolling on his moirail.

All of a sudden there was the strange hum of electricity that made the hair on the back of their six sweep old necks stand, and they turned their attention toward the source in the sky, clinging close.

"The fuck..." John whispered, fingers digging into the Gemini's shirt, feeling his moirail mimicking the action. Both of them looked around, eyes wide.

"Imperial craft." The other whispered back as his attention fell on a something far above their heads. A light flashed on, blinding them both, and the ground pulled out from beneath them, the two of them locked together, forced still, clinging to each other in terror. The belly of the ship opened, and two adults, several castes above the quadranted pair's gold, grinned maliciously, grabbing them by their shirts, hauling them through to the other side, tossing them unceremoniously to the metal floor of the ship.

"They seem to be healthy." One adult said, while John tried to growl. 

"Good. Danyes will be pleased to have them in the academy." the other answered.

Both adults were teal blooded, their signs complex, from the boy's positions on the floor. 

The second leaned down with syringes in hand, passing one to the first.

They moved as a unit, pressing them into a vein at each boy's neck, and before they could protest, both young trolls were out.

\--

They woke mostly submerged in green slime, interlocked as they had been when they’d been taken. Their limbs and fingers were stiff from their death grips on each other. Bruises on their skin gave enough of a sign that someone had tried to prise them apart between passing out and waking. Whatever had happened, though, they were still together, still entwined, unbreakable. They gave each other looks of relief as they released one-another and moved to sit up, helping each other out of the unfamiliar coon, into the a room that was just as unfamiliar.

The space was darkened, the only light in the space coming from a single, slim, rectangular port, horizontally positioned-almost higher than their eyes. Sollux gave John a look and the two reached out for the powers that were so much an instinct for the both of them that it was as easy and unthinking as breathing; except nothing happened. No spark came to their fingers. Panic rose in the moirails as numbness spread through their limbs.

“Fuck.” Sollux hissed. They'd been dosed before. They both knew what this was. His bony fingers gripped John’s tightly, claws digging into the palms as John papped his cheek with a shaking hand.

“It’s alright." The four eyed troll smiled weakly, the expression narrowing the lower pair of eyes. "W-Whatever's happening, we'll be alright. I'm... I'm sure by now our lusi know we're missing? Maybe... we can figure out where we are and send a message somehow?"

Sollux nodded, lips pursing over too-many teeth.

"I bet I can pick you up?" the taller boy tried, licking his lips nervously as his moirail nodded. Slim arms wrapped around his middle and the red-and-blue eyed diamond pulled him up, hefting the four eyed boy's backend to his chest level. The boy leaned forward and peered through the port, forehead pressed to the top frame.

“I think we’re looking at Alternia.” John said shakily, glancing at his friend, gripping his hand. Their eyes met and returned to the azures, amethysts and emeralds of Alternia’s surface, and stared down in horror. “I don’t think Karkat’ll be apologizing to me any time soon, Soll.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t be counting on that either.” Sollux whispered, attempting a laugh as his quadrantmate looked out the window, fingers tingling as they gripped his partner's waist. 

“... Its got a suppressor field on it..." John reported, looking down at the other, pressing back from the window, nose tingling as he wiggled to attempt to get free. “and, there’s suppresser in the coon. Someone is determined to keep us from blasting things”

The door behind them slid open, and they gripped each other’s hands, John throwing himself in front of Sollux protectively. The light from the hall outside was blocked out by a lanky troll with broken horns.

“Dunno who you are but you’d better make damned sure you really wanna be in here because I might not have my psionics but I can still kick your fuckin ass.” John shouted. Sollux was sure it wasn’t a bluff, and he watched as John kept himself between the intruder and the red and blue psionic.

“C’mon boys. We’re going to get you set up for school.” A gruff voice said, the speaker not bothering to enter.

A tentative look was exchanged and Sollux and John left the room hand in hand, clinging to each other for dear life as they watched groups of mutants--young psionics like them--march through the halls in groups of six, after adults with dead eyes and purposeful steps. The groups were lead by hulking guards, not psionics, by any means, sharp eyed and furious looking. Green bloods who'd been given dominion over lower bloods--the same greens that had stolen them from Alternia. One was leering at them as he passed, fully filled green eyes narrowed in disgust. They didn't LIKE working with psionics, but the power was a rare thing for a low blood to have.

The trainers and other psionics seemed to all be wearing the same kinds of uniforms. Long tunics that zipped up the front, with hoods, and long sleeves that were decorated with their personal symbols. On their left shoulders they wore pale pink diamonds-some of them even had other symbols super-imposed on them. The hoods seemed to vary person to person, long, short, dual pointed--there was one that had three points. It seemed to be a form of self expression. Blood colours were expressed in hoods and straps, and the symbols on shirts.

They didn't notice when the trolls they were following stopped in front of a door, and wound up bumping into their backs.

"Pay attention to where you're going, you dumb fucks." their escort hissed. Theirs was a gold blood, eyes hidden by goggles.

"Pay attention to who you're snapping at, fuck-ass. You think you can just snap kids up from their homes when their lusus isn't looking?" John snarled, anger burning in his eyes. "You'd better be taking us to ships to take us back to the human colonies so we can go back to Dave and Aradia or you're going to be sorry!"

"You're going to find you're not getting your way here." the troll glared, reaching forward to grab John's shirt, flat-filed teeth bared.

John jammed his foot into the crotch of the adult, shoving himself toward his moirail, aiming his hands for the floor. Sollux stepped back a few feet, not keen on being smacked in the eyes with his brother-friend's feet as he flipped backward. His feet planted neatly and he righted himself, sinking into a comfortable, battle ready form.

The stance the boy took was clear-he wished he had one of his hammers handy. His fingers itched for the familiar weight of the shaft of one of his weapons. Instead he balled up his fists and sank into a fighting stance.

"COME AT ME. I was raised to fight with feet and fists. I'm not afraid of you." he challenged, until the adult reached forward again, and grabbed him properly.

"You're tiny. You'll be tiny for a long time. You're one of their little play things now, so you'll learn to behave or you and your fucking quadrant will learn to behave or you'll get your tiny, scrawny little asses kicked, now SHAPE UP AND FOLLOW ORDERS. Go through that door!"

John was thrown ass over head in a blast of electric sparks, into the door of a nearby room, and Sollux scowled at the adult, following after the shorter, scrawny boy, flipping them off as he passed.

"We won't be here for long. This is a temporary stay. Heroes don't tend to make homes in loyalists locations." he grabbed John's arm, hauling him up. "You don't know what you grabbed."

Sollux worked together with John to straighten him out and brush him off, checking him for bruises and other injuries.

"You'll get your ass kicked until they take us off the inhibitors." Sollux hissed. "You'll wind up like Terezi did. Shot just for being different. Remember that?"

Captor pressed the door open and nudged his moirail in, finally leaning against the door behind them. His eyes traveled over the space, finding they were in another long hall.

"We need to get home and if ruffling feathers gets someone's attention--"

"We're not in the game anymore, John. They're not imps. We're not going to get out of here if we start trying to fight against Loyalists in the middle of their nest." He whispered, brows pulled together as he peeked out into the hall. Their escort had left, not bothering to follow them in. 

"If we don't fight in the middle of the nest, where do we fight?" John whined, and Sollux pulled him to a stop, shaking his shoulders.

"We're two wrigglers. We're just two kids in the middle of a base that we have to assume is filled with enemies. We have memories of a lifetime of fighting and battle but we are two very small people and this isn't the game. They're not imps. They're not going to explode into grist when we destroy them, and they're not going to make it easy on us. We can posture and snarl and puff our chests, but we're not going to get anywhere." Sollux started forward once more, fingers laced with his diamond's.

"Then what. do. we. do." John hissed at him, eyes narrowing, much less impressive with a round face and four eyes than it would have been on anyone else(not that it would have been on his human face. John simply wasn't that intimidating)

"This looks like a school." Captor observed as they moved through the hall, peeking into windows in doors.

"Yeah, AND?"

"I say we schoolfeed. We learn what ever they have to offer us, soak it up like fucking think-sponges--"

"And wring it out when our time comes later on?" John whispered, eyes wide.

"Exactly. You're a fuckload quicker than Kk would be."

"That's my matesprit you're talking about." he flicked at his moirail.

"Shush...I think we should move on." Sollux tugged, starting back down the hall.

The end came finally and they came to a rail and a grate-floor that stood several hundred feet over thousands of vats manned by carapaces. Black and white pieces from the game they'd left behind, who's moons should have orbited in the skies of Alternia.

Passing among them were pale...

HUMANS.

The young trolls exchanged looks, eyes wide.

They were different from the humans they knew from home.

John's eyes turned back to the workers and passed over the facial expression of a vaguely familiar figure.

"Dad..." he breathed, starting toward the rail.

"JN. You don't have a dad. You're a troll now. You have a lusus, or did you forget Strider already?" Sollux hissed, grabbing him by a horn, tugging hard. "Behave."

"But that's my DAD, Sollux. He taught me to play piano, he sang me to sleep, he filled the house with gross harlequins and made disgusting Betty Crocker cakes, and told me he was proud of every single thing I did. That's my dad."

"And he was a human, and he IS a human, and he wasn't a game construct or a player, so he's not going to remember you anyway, so wipe it from your mind and let's keep going." he jerked on the boy's horn, tugging him away.

"Just let me...Sollux...Sollux let me talk to him."

"HUMANS ARE MUTE JN. MUTE. They can't speak, and if he's here I doubt he knows Alternian sign." Sollux missed the days when it was John thinking clearly, and he was the one in need of reassurance.

John turned to look at him, giving him a sort of kicked puppy look.

"I just...I want to talk to him. Just go see him. Just for a minute. Please. I haven't seen him since I saw his body in the game. Sollux...Sollux this means a lot to me."

It was the tears that got him. Sollux sighed, nodding. "Let's find some stairs. You OWE me, JN. I'm not letting you forget about this." It seemed like they needed to go down there anyway.

John lead the way, half stumbling half running down the metal steps, canvas and rubber shoes smacking noisily, making loud clangs that seemed to distract the workers. He drew close to the man he identified as his human father and launched himself at him, latching on to the bewildered individual with a tight hug.

"I found you. I found you I found you. I looked for you and you were dead and now you're here and I found you oh fuck you're alive fuck."

Sollux could tell the yellow tears were going to stain the white cloth that the humans here wore, and sighed, crossing his arms as he watched his moirail make a fool of himself. The human looked vaguely confused, almost as though he knew what was going on, but didn't quite understand.

"You're alive. You're here and you don't even have a mark and you're all one piece." he whined, burying his face in the cloth.

"JN. Stop that. I don't think he'll appreciate his clothes being dyed by a wayward troll's upset tears. You're embarrassing us both." Sollux hissed, grabbing at one of John's horns, only to find that the human his friend was hanging on to was hugging him back, his cheek pressed against his head, arms around his shoulders, making soft gasping sounds, clear human tears invading the thick mess that was his friend's hair.

Humans remembered.

Humans who weren't Heroes remembered.

\- It took a while for the two of them to calm down, in the end, the human's cotton shirt being used to scrub the yellow mess from John's cheeks, his hand firm on his shoulder, a smile on his face to communicate 'I'm proud of you, now and always'.

His other hand took Sollux's shoulder, and the human guided them both through the ground level of the area, pausing to gesture to the vats, showing them what they were for.

He showed them strips and bolts of fabric and ribbon that were draped into the vats, and showed the colours contained within, gesturing to their limbs and areas where their veins were most obvious. He guided them toward the back where humans seemed to work in large clusters, passing among wrigglers their own age, strapped into chairs. They seemed to be giving blood, in varying states of 'willing', passing it into bags.

Dad-bert released them to step toward the nearest wriggler and pointed toward the bag, then the closest of the small vats.

"So the blood... The blood goes into the vat..." Sollux whispered.

"And dyes the fabric." John finished, the both of them exchanging looks, pale and nervous.

The adult human nodded, an apologetic look on his face as he returned to them, kneeling down and squeezing their wrists gently.

"And we can't leave, can we?" John asked, receiving a shake of the head from the adult.

"What happens to the dyed fabric?" Sollux asked, grabbing John's hand, squeezing it tight.

The human tugged them gently, guiding them toward a door, opening it for them. He held a hand to tell them to pause, and gestured to a passing group of students.

"Blood dyed fabric." They whispered together, stumbling backward from the door.

To survive, they had to blend in.

To survive they had to use their own fluids to dye their clothes.

-

It took several weeks to get enough blood to go into a vat, returning once a week, the sopor of their coon gave them it's regenerative work, to donate.

Each student wore a black jacket with streaks of varying shades and tones of yellow, and hoods to match the colours, and hoods of different shapes, pantomimes of individuality in the rigid society of the school. Everyone was allowed to design their own, it seemed. It was easy enough to decide the form of their hoods, matching the forms to their god tiers. It was their silent form of implying that the empire had made a mistake in taking them, and would soon regret it. It was sewing the hoods together that was frustrating for the pair.

Breakfast every morning found them getting to know the other stolen wrigglers that would become their class. Six stolen wrigglers...

Atriev was shy, nervous even. They learned that when he was free of the suppressants he sparked at the slightest sign of conflict. Markes was confrontational, and more than once John intervened, stepping into their ashen quadrant to make sure there was no explosion of spark-some people could fight past the suppressant and cause violent explosions, as they'd learned the first day in the cafeteria. A young troll had sent himself to the infirmary when he was informed that he'd be sent to classes the next day.

Deinai was a boisterous, even annoying person that reminded them of Feferi, almost. She was all smiles, and promised them they'd be free, and there was nothing the Moirails could agree with more.

There was a troll named Lateva, who denied having any gender at all, and spent much of Zheir time glaring at John like he was the scum of the universe, which confused the boy no end. Sollux and John finally reached the conclusion, after a week, that Lateva was entertaining a one sided black crush. It was going to make their work there very difficult, certainly.

Perched next to Lateva was a girl named Rasest, who liked to organize her food into pictures rather than speak to the group at large. It was agreed that she was out of touch with reality and wasn't going to be much of an asset to any attempted escape. Their six person team was going to be a difficult group to work with, and neither John, nor Sollux was really looking forward to it.

\- The day their class was released to actual classes they were permitted to wear their jackets('Permitted, like it's a fucking privilege.' John had snarled as he tugged the long jacket on over his black slacks, zipping it to his throat, then pulled his hood on over his hood, buttoning it over his horns. 'More like proof that they want to own us.') and walked into their group at the center of their hallway, their six person group lined up in twos. "I wanna go home." Atriev whispered, gripping at Rasest's hand, eyes clenched.

"We will, just learn everything you can until we go, ok?" John whispered back, glancing over his shoulder, turning forward to make sure to kick Markes in the back of the calf. This was going to be a long, LONG stay.

They were already hating it.

There was an unspoken promise to sneak into the vat room and visit the humans. It was the only way they were going to get through it.


	18. Secret Messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter remains unedited from it's original posting. I should probably stop doing that. I've saved it for color coding which might go live... eventually? I have to admit I'm shit at coding and just trying to get it to work on my own made me panic. I'm so sorry this is probably really bad...

\--Alternia--  
It was nearing dinner time, Karkat and Terezi had been wrangled into setting the table(six plates, two for the moirails, two for Kar and Terezi, and two for the Lusi) and Dave was finishing up the cooking.

The sound of the pestering program on the ancient computer in the other room was grating on everyone as they worked furiously in the meal blocks, and eventually Dave acted upon it, directing Karkat to handle the food as he made his way into the other room.

\--maidSeconds[MS] began pestering timeSignature[TS]--  
MS: if the b0ys were headed my way they have yet t0 arrive  
MS: i th0ught i sh0uld let y0u kn0w theyre pr0bably dicking ar0und in the w00ds  
MS: s0llux was supp0sed t0 bring j0hn by t0 pick up the pieces m0m and mum made f0r him and karkat  
MS: s0 if they c0me back y0ur way  
MS: kick them back t0 me  
MS: im handling the wash  
MS: ill bring them 0ver f0r dinner as pr0mised  
MS: i saw a ship in the sky just n0w  
MS: dave we have a pr0blem  
MS: 0h f0r fucks sake dave  
MS: i kn0w y0ure l0ving being a d0mesticated animal and all  
MS: but c0uld y0u please pay attenti0n t0 the single shred 0f techn0l0gy y0u entertain  
MS: dave  
MS: dave  
MS: fuck it im c0ming 0ver  
\--maidSeconds[MS] changed their status to idle--

The door flew open and Aradia huffed, whip hanging at her hip, hands flying in frustration.

when i send y0u messages i expect them answered she snarled, gnashing her teeth. In the kitchen, something clattered to the stove, and a nub-horned head poked out of the meal-prep block.

i was cooking sue me he responded, rolling his eyes, gesturing to the kitchen. whats this about a ship??

i suspect it has taken 0ur b0ys as they arent in the w00ds where we left them

"JOHN." The scrawny sea troll darted around them and out into the yard, only to be caught by Aradia's whip and hauled back in the house.

karkles look at me dave's glasses went to his head and he looked the boy in the eye. that ship isnt there anymore if it took them we have to get them back yes but we cant do that if we dont know where it went and frankly we dont

"WE HAVE TO."

im not saying we wont vantas im saying not right now because we dont have enough information im saying john and sollux can fight for themselves chill out and well do some research he nudged the boy in the shoulder. well find them chill

\--Training Facility, Alternian Moon--

Breakfast the first day as a class was an event. They were placed in their own room, unnecessarily large, at a small table. John had had to sit between Atriev and Markes, which meant Sollux was sitting across from him between Deinai and Lateva trying to hold a conversation with the first while intercepting the second's black solicitations against his moirail.

"All I'm saying is they could add a little more flavor to these things." Markes grumbled, waving a spoonfull of poached eggs around, splashing milk on the others, earning glares from the others and a chuckle from John.

"Hey, while I appreciate jokes, I think you should try to keep your food in your bowl or mouth or on the spoon. You're making a mess." he wiped a bit off his face, cleaning his thumb off-he'd yet to start in on his own breakfast, and a certain lack surprised him. "Holy shit. Sollux... CAPTOR." He twisted around, turning from one of his ashen friends to his moirail.

"What?" Sollux blinked, looking at him from his conversation, tilting his head to the side.

"There's no suppressant in the food. They're actually going to let us have our powers today."

The other psionics tested their food, all of them coming back free of the numbness that came with the suppressant that'd been forced into their veins and mouths.

"But it's the first day of classes Egdumb, of COURSE they'd cut the suppressant. Its an act of good faith."

"First, Lateva." He hissed, surging to his feet. "DON'T call me Egdumb, Egderp, or any variation of the sort. My name is Jontan Egbert, and just like I'm going to respect your name being the key smashed violation against nature and everything good in the universe, Lateva Raikes, I expect you to respect Me." he seethed, climbing over the table to grab her by the collar.

Sollux pushed Deinai back, quirking a brow, half smirking.

"And another thing, I don't know about you, but my lusus was a human and taught me to use weapons, and while my specialty is Hammerkind, I'm pretty adept at 'wail on the sonovabitch until they can't get up', and I'm quickly losing patience with your antics. I am a hero of legend and I'm not going to be disrespected by a snot like you. All I want is to get through this so I can get home to my lusus and my matesprit and if you're going to make this difficult you will be eliminated faster than an imp on LOWAS, got it, bitch?" he snarled, baring his teeth, sparks starting to snap around his eyes and horns.

"Aren't you going to stop him?" Atriev whispered to Sollux, who leaned back against the table, crossing his legs.

"Fuck no. You know what it takes to push JN to a point where he asserts authority over someone trying to black flirt with him?" the lanky troll chuckled, leaning his head back to grin at the other boy. "We've been moirails for a long time, and let me tell you this. His matesprit wasn't always his matesprit. He REALLY wanted him black."

Lateva was trying to wriggle out of John's hold, orange sparks pathetic in comparison to the sparks that were lifting his hood.

"You think you can intimidate me?" zhe snarled, glaring up at John like zhe wanted to commit murder. It only made John snicker.

"My lusus was a Strider. I KNOW I can intimidate you." he leered, shoving zhim away. "COME AT ME." Sollux pinned Deinai back to the table when it looked like she wanted to intervene.

"You've got to let them do this. JN and LV have to figure out the pecking order."

Lateva lifted a chair away from the table and chucked it at John, who caught it and split it down the middle with a streak of light that could have passed for one of Dave or Dirk's katana blades, then danced to the side, laughing, pulling zher hood over zher head, leaning in close.

"You have to get up pretty early to prank a prankster, Raikes. I've been at this for a very long time. Longer than you've been alive. More than twice as long. Almost four times." he cooed, hands on zher shoulders, blue sparks holding the fabric down and forward off the other trolls four twisted horns.

"Let go of me Egfuck."

"Gladly." he snarled, stepping away, air spiralling around Lateva, his eyes glowing dangerously, hands held out in front of him as he shaped the funnel.

"Now?" Deinai whispered, tugging on Sollux's jacket, and the troll nodded, sighing as he stepped away from the table, going over to John, grabbing his arm, tugging roughly to get his attention, patting his cheek.

"Shoooooooosh" he said softly. "I know you're homesick and angry, but we can't go home if you kill Lateva, and what would RS say if she found out?"

John's hands fell as his cheeks were patted, and he leaned against Sollux, forehead pressed against his shoulder.

"I wanna go home, Sollux. I just wanna go home and see Kar and Dave and all of them. I wanna see our family."

"So he's just a crybaby with a hairpin trigger?" Lateva smirked, only to be slammed into a wall by a buffet of blue streaked 'air' and pinned there.

"I'm a kid who was a god who misses his friends and family. You're just some snotty brat who probably VOLUNTEERED for this place." John hissed over Sollux's shoulder, hugging his moirail for dear life. Sollux raked his claws down John's back, whispering shooshes in his ear, chin hooked firmly over his friend's shoulder until he'd calmed enough to be let go--at which point he promptly stormed over to Lateva. "I want to go home. I want to take Sollux and Dad and I want to go home, and it's fucks like you that are standing in my way, so you either conform to my plans, or I'll off you like you're nothing more than an imp in the Game two thousand sweeps ago, and I won't even blink when you don't give me any Grist, got it??" he snarled, then turned to the rest of the group. "And that goes for EVERYONE here. If you stand in the way of Sollux and I going home, or even getting out of this place and going from there, I'll make sure you pay dearly for it."

People always assumed John couldn't hate, that he was a ball of laughter and sunshine and would brush off anger or pain.

Sollux knew better, and right here was a prime example. John could rage as strongly as Karkat, he just managed it a different way.

Vriska always suggested John was more like a troll than he was like the other humans. She'd told them about his reaction to having been informed of Tavros's death, and how he hadn't been upset with her or angry, and simply accepted. Jade told them about the suggestion of friendship stairs and pushing Karkat down them, which amused everyone when their first reaction had been to run off into a corner and whisper like little kids, hidden away behind hands. And they were all well aware that Gamzee and John had gotten into large prank wars that seemed to substitute for black flirting for the two of them--neither enjoyed loosing.

They'd all watched John through their screens and seen that he was capable of violence AND peace, so Sollux wasn't at all surprised by the four narrowed eyes or bared teeth, or the slant of his brow.

"You heard the troll. We're headed home. Long or short, we're getting back to Alternia, and whether you're for or against it, it's happening, choke on a bulge. Everyone get back to your meal, we've got a teacher who'll be looking in on us. John, find me a computer jack. I've got to find out if they were listening in."

The four eyed troll nodded, glaring at the orange eyed psionic, flicking his fingers at Lateva before running his hand over the wall while Sollux fed them both.

"Why am I looking. You're going to be using it."

"Punishment for putting breakfast off for your fight." He held a spoonful up, giving him a shit-eating grin.

"...Some mornings, Sollux."

"Pale for you too. Eat."

A computer was located next to the slight depression that turned out to be a door, and Sollux spent the next ten minutes hacking the system, checking the place for sound feed.

"Seems like they don't give a shit about what we have to say, just so long as they get to see what we're capable of." Sollux said, John now returning the favour of feeding them both. "Damn. You look pretty impressive from this angle."

"You implying the Heir of Breath isn't ALWAYS impressive?"

"Get your head out of your ass, moron. You're not THAT impressive." he huffed, eyeing the fold out screen, pointing at it. "I'm going to send this to a remote server and see if I can't drop Dirk a line though. A little taunting hint for him to grab on to let him know we're alright."

"Because Dave sucks at computers." John rolled his eyes, still an impressive feat with four of them to move.

"And so do you, so shut up." In a few short minutes he had a new splicing program downloaded and had chopped the video enough to upload it.

'HERO of his class sees RED and leaves classmate BREATHless and BLUE as a prevention for CANCER among their group and BECOMES THE LEADER. Their LUSUS would be proud he's turned out so takiing such STRIDES iin hiigh 2tre22 2iituatiion2.'

"Like the quirk wouldn't be a dead give away?" "They're not looking for my quirk." Sollux rolled his eyes, hitting the upload button with an exasperated sigh. "They're looking for US"

-Alternia-

Messages scrawled themselves across the chat field on his shades, AR running on a separate program in the background by unspoken agreement.

TS: i just dont know what to do bro  
TS: hes pacing around in their room like a caged animal but if i let him leave the hive hell just try to look for them and wind up getting hurt or worse  
TK: I know. Karkat is a hot headed young troll with an eye for danger and an itchy trigger finger, but they were clearly abducted by the empire, and we have to face the facts, there's nothing you, nor I can do to get them back. We have to trust that our contacts within the empire will do what they can to help us out when they find them. John and Sollux are smart kids, Dave. They're not going to kill themselves.  
TS: im just worried because john runs head long straight into things without the ball  
TS: you cant make a home run if you have nothing to dribble  
TK: While I find your failure at sports charming, little brother, I also find that you're overly worried. He's with his Moirail. If there's one thing you can be sure of with Trolls, it's that if their Moirail is with them, the likely hood of them killing themselves by doing something stupid drops quite a bit. Let's look at this objectively. Vriska is a raging spider-bitch, but one word from Jade and that bitch sits just like a hound.  
TK: I'll bet you it's about the same with John and Sollux.

A second program-a search that he had AR monitoring went off

TT: Dirk, I'd like to draw your attention over here.  
TK: Did we turn up something?  
TT: Have a look.

The screen slid up in front of his eyes and he watched the video, grinning

TK: Thanks AR. I appreciate it. So does Dave, even if he's an ungrateful little shit.  
TT: Happy to help. What else am I going to do?

TK: Little bro. I know it's not the fifth day of the twelfth perigree, but I got you something.  
TS: what the fuck man  
TS: my kids are missing and youre talking birthdays and presents??  
TS: thats the epitome of not fucking cool go take a dive into a vat of boiling lava  
TK: http://altertube.com/ajdfha124  
TS: are you sending me porn??  
TS: IS THIS PORN??  
TK: Just click the link you ungrateful little shit.  
TS: oh my fuck  
TS: oh my fucking god  
TS: is this  
TS: this is john  
TS: this is john and sollux  
TS: and john being badass  
TS: where is this??  
TK: If I knew I'd tell you and we'd be staging a rescue. All I know is that one of them uploaded it.  
TS: fuck  
TS: fuck fuck fuck fuck  
TK: You may now sleep easily knowing your little Heir and Aradia's Mage are nice and comfy cozy and alive, wreaking havoc somewhere in the empire. Congratulations, Dave, it's a shithead. You've raised a shithead.  
TS: fuck you  
TS: this is the best news ive ever gotten  
TS: im going to show this to karkat

\--Training Facility, Alternian moon--

Class was boring. That was the only opinion John had. It was the exact same lessons he'd been getting from Dave since he was a grub. Their trainer, an older psionic, had appeared briefly to give them their assignment and give an example, and then he was out again.

Lift the stone, pile the stone, make sure the pile of stones doesn't fall. Easy.

John and Sollux had it in the bag, they'd been practicing for years--but it didn't seem like the other four in their group had any talent for it, and it made the both cringe.

"Atriev, let me help." John stepped over, taking his hands. "Equalize to me. I had the same trouble when I was first starting at this, but I found out it was because I was trying to give it too much, then too LITTLE power." Their training felt like it was going on into the night and through to the next day, leaving them all short of patience and testy, the moirailigned pair barking orders by the time the doors hissed open and their trainer FINALLY returned.

John and Soll turned to glare up at him, their combined six pair of eyes narrowed on the man who'd abandoned them to train their team mates.

"Wanna explain why a full grown trainer leaves a pair of inexperienced wrigglers to train other inexperienced wrigglers while he goes to do fuck knows what? Were you picking your ass or something?" John growled.

"Kk's really rubbing off on you JN." Sollux chuckled, then glanced up at the adult for a sign that he'd been heard.

"He'll be happy to hear it." John hissed in return, his eyes never leaving the man, advancing on him, blue energy crackling around him.

"I left you alone to foster leadership and teamwork." the man smirked. "One day you'll join the army as a unit, and you'll be expected to work under a leader. I guess that's you and you, fire cracker and ice cube."

"It alternates." Sollux shrugged. "I'd count him as an ice cube when the circumstance calls for it." his thumbs hooked into his pockets.

"You will be expected to work together from here on out, these two, Gemini-minor and...whatever this kid is," the adult jerked his thumb at John, "are your leaders. They'll get your lesson plans. You'll follow them on drills and lessons, and you'll keep your mouths shut. Dissention in the ranks will get all six of your golden asses kicked."

The gulps from the other four psionics could be heard in the room, and the pair of Heroes exchanged looks.

"Does this count for black or ashen quadrants?" Sollux asked, a brow arching in a delicate way that would make Eridan jealous.

"Black quadrants within units are strictly forbidden, ashen intervention is encouraged, and even required. I hate to say it, but having black and flushed quadrants as psionics isn't a thing that happens anymore." Sollux could almost hear the whines rising in the group, especially from his moirail. "They distract you from your job and prevent you from working correctly."

"Sir?" Deinai asked from the back. "Sir, I heard a rumor... Are we really wiped after three sweeps of training? Like...when they plug you into the rig for the first time...do you really stop being you?"

All eyes went to the adult. He was silent for a long moment, indecision on his face as he looked them over.

This was something John and Sollux needed to know. Sollux had never been in a rig before, and the Psiioniic had been dead by the time the war started in earnest...but then so had John, Sollux and Karkat.

"Only if your captain wishes you to forget, and makes you into someone else." he said softly. "If you're lucky, your captain is compassionate and lets you stay you. I saw a lot of good psionics wiped by their captains and turned into agreeable dolls after they were appropriated by ships. You'll probably be given to a captain as a set, the six of you, set into core places in compliment to each other, doing for that captain, what the Psionic did for the Empress..."

"And it'll hurt." Sollux said, frowning. "You lose bits and pieces of yourself, it feels like your body is on fire, but it feels like the most rewarding thing in the world."

The man seemed taken aback, and John grabbed his Moirail's hand, remembering how he came to him-blind and weak, and oh-so-tired.

"You've been there?" the man asked.

"I had... I had a dream. I just wanted to know if it was true." Sollux covered for them, tugging John close, hugging him. "I miss AA." he whispered, and John nodded, patting his head between his horns.

They were being primed to be placed in ship rigs. The more they heard the more they knew they had to get out of there.

Later that night a comment was found on the first video.

'holy shit What a badass  
and pEople tHink psionics arE weAk  
this Right here proves theY tOtally arent  
my bro owes me five boonbUcks  
Tell thAt kid he fucking wins'

It didn't take long for a new video hit the net, splices from the days training.

'2ometiime2 wriiGler2 makE betTer teacher2 than adUltS. whO'd have thoUghT iit, huh? iit only took all Damned day. wound up doiing a Very good job After All. never FuckIiNg thought we'D have two work thii2 hard. ii hope we're doing oUr luSii Proud. LEts hope iit keep2 being thii2 eASy. yEah riight. just goiing two keep doiing the2e uploAd2 two trAck our progre22. there ii2n't very much else two do up here.'


	19. Of parents, training, and frustrations.

It took some getting used to, being team 'mom' to John's team of fussy psionic trolls.

The human watched the youths with a concerned eye. None were so concerning to him as the pair of trolls who stole glances at John and Sollux over their plate.

He set the meal before them, watching the troll as he stepped away again. He didn't know what the troll was doing, if or why he was spying, if he was a plant of some kind or if he was meant to be there, but he knew he was an aberation, and he was going to find out what his deal was. Who was going to expect a human who brought in snacks and drinks of spying? Who was going to accuse a human who'd been raised by the empire of being able to communicate with trolls?

All he knew was that he had to protect his child.

And he had to get access to his child's Lusus. John was a troll now. No longer the child he remembered teaching the piano, but somehow, still very much that young man he was preparing to teach to shave.

Getting access to a computer was easier than he thought it would be. Lateva was forever leaving their tablet around the meeting room. Trollian popped open easily and a new screen name was crafted. His old one could be being watched, and he was fairly certain it was.

The next step was figuring out which screen names to contact. On earth John's friends were predictable, often times crass, Alternia had driven them to be a bit more clever. It took him significantly longer to figure out a viable candidate for the human who was raising his child. 

ectoDaedelus[ED] began pestering timeSignature[TS]  
ED: HELLO, MISTER STRIDER.

He didn't have time for second guessing, it was time to take a leap of faith.

TS: shit i dont have time for this, i just got in to get supplies and my pester starts chiming

The empirebound human hadn't been expecting a particularly warm greeting but he didn't have time for that, either. 

ED: I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE CHILDREN ARE IN MY CARE, AND PERFECTLY FINE, ASIDE FROM BEING HUNTED BY WHAT I EXPECT IS A MORONIC, HALFWITTED PLANT. THAT WON'T LAST LONG IF I HAVE MY WAY. YOU NEEDN'T WORRY. I WAS A FATHER FOR A LONG TIME, I KNOW HOW TO TEND TO CHILDREN.  
TS: you have breath and gem minor?  
TS: are they ok? are they eating?  
TS: theyre kids they can always lie and im not there to double check their tall tales  
ED: CALM DOWN DAVE. THEY'RE PERFECTLY FINE.  
ED: THEY'RE RETURNING WITH A TUTOR SHORTLY. I HAVE TO GO. HUMANS AREN'T MEANT TO HAVE ACCESS TO COMPUTERS HERE.  
TS: tell breath i love him  
ED: I'LL TELL HIM YOU'RE PROUD OF HIM.  
TS: tell. him. i. love. him.  
TS: hes as good as my son  
TS: i love the little shit bird  
TS: and dont give me that bullshit about trolls not understanding love  
TS: you wouldnt have access to him if he didnt understand love  
ED: OK  
ED: I REALLY DO HAVE TO GO.  
ectoDad912[ED] ceased pestering timeSignature[TS]

Egbert was out of the program and had it back to the way it had been when he picked it up, with his chatlog deleted within two minutes. Food was removed from the service tray and he set plates out, moving in to a corner as the trolls started to file in with Sollux and John at the back with their coach.

"Not bad today. Though I could have done without the accident, AGAIN Lateva. You'll be removed from the t--"

"That's not necessary coach." John laughed, holding his hands up. "They'll get it soon enough. Relax relax." John laughed, turning to look at Lateva. "You'll just have to try harder next time, right?"

"I'm bleeding and you're saying 'try harder next time.'" she mumbled as the coach gave a derisive snort, stepping out and snapping the door shut behind him.

"I'm saying it's mighty interesting that your run is the one we have the most fuck ups on."

Things were breaking down between the wrigglers, their constant failures were starting to wear thin on the entirety of the team.

"Why do you always think it's my fault?" they huffed, hips canted to the side, narrowing their eyes defiantly at John.

It was all it took for John's patience to snap.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S NOT GETTING THE CONCEPT OF DODGE THE FUCKING ROCK AND FLING IT AT THE GODDAMNED TARGET. WHAT THE FUCK LATEVA? ARE YOU BROKEN? DID YOU DEVELOP WRONG? WHY DID THEY TAKE YOU? YOUR POWERS AREN'T EVEN THAT IMPRESSIVE. YOU'RE A SNOT NOSED BRAT WHO DOES NOTHING BUT BITCH ABOUT HOW THINGS DON'T GO YOUR WAY." he snapped, advancing on the other youth, only to be caught flesh in claw, at the back of the neck by Sollux.

"I think we need to sit down and eat before you lose what's left of your temper and kill one of our team mates. It's not worth trying to get last minute people in to fill the void." his moirail narrowed his eyes warningly at Lateva.

Atriev took Lateva's wrist and tugged them to the other side of the table while Sollux sat John at the head and flopped next to him with his legs over John's to pin him down.

"So we were talking about the reasons why we're having trouble with the obstacle course." Sollux started, prodding John in the shoulder. "You should start here. This is kind of the thing leaders do."

"Dude. I know." John sighed, rubbing the skin under his lower set of eyes. "Alright. Tell me what happened today Lateva, so we can figure out how to get your dumb ass past the bit that's fucking you over."

A knock came at the door, and their trainer entered once again, walking over to drop a new file in front of John as the human began passing out supper.

"Actually kids, it's new orders time. You're all going to be expected to be prepared for weaponized combat by the end of a perigree's time, in order to meet with your new unit and train for battle." The man said, with almost a hint of regret.

"Antares, Sir. We'll have a new unit? As in you're splitting us up?" John asked, gripping one of Sollux's legs hard enough to make the other boy hiss.

"No. We're giving you more to work with. A group of threshies, a chuckle-fuck and your very own legislacerator." John perked when the adult said 'threshies', then remembered it was more than likely that his own wannabe threshie had stayed planet side and wouldn't be part of this. After all, they probably didn't steal threshies from their homes when their lusi weren't there. No.

No if anything these were going to be hyper vigilant threshecutioners. The sort that were likely to kill him for being a rebel.

"Do we know who they are?"

"They've been hand picked by the Grand High Blood." he rolled his eyes. "So likely they'll be assholes with god complexes. Like you." the trainer seemed almost affectionate as he stationed himself at the door once again.

"Hah hah." wait what? John peered at Antares, narrowing his eyes. The man knew things. He'd have to corner him and get him to explain. "So we have to get weaponized in roughly sixty days...?"

"That is the idea here, Wobbly grub." The man always had the oddest nicknames for people. Everyone had a different nickname every day. John couldn't tell if he liked it or if it pissed him off.

"But one of us can't lift a rock to defend themselves. If I didn't know better I'd say someone was slipping a hint of dampener into his food and making us suffer the consequences of a weakened player in our training arena." He shot Lateva a concerned look. "Lateva isn't ready. Sollux, yeah, he's got eye-lasers. I've seen it. But Lateva? And half our crew is still a little questionable. You can't get him to push it back?"

"Apparently you're going to be one of nine crews sent to the planet to put down a rebellion, so the answer to that would be... No."

John's blood ran cold, four eyes widening as he turned to his moirail, claws digging in to the boy's calves.

\--

Training came again the next day in the form of moirailed pairs fighting against boulders being flung at them. It was easy for the most part, each group going against the attacks with varying results. John blowing them back in something like a windstorm that resembled the powers of days gone by, wrapped with sparks that exploded the larger rocks when necessary.

Lateva entered the ring, Atriev at his side.

“Good luck, fuck-nuts. Try not to mess this one up. We’re trying to get PAST this fucking trial.” That was about as encouraging as John felt he could be, just then. A sigh pushed it's way out of his lungs and the troll took his place at the panel, hands hovering over the starting keys.

At the wave, the sequence was punched in, and rest of the group stepped closer to the window. Twenty minutes in to the battle it was clear that the two of them had FINALLY hit their stride, and John breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I need to step out.” Alazen whispered, touching John’s shoulder, the twist-horned troll seeming to look uncomfortable in the space.

“Claustrophobic?” John questioned, a brow arching at the other troll.

“Just a little.” he smiled a little strained. 

“Yeah go ahead, buddy system though. Don't go alone.” the troll bowed his head slightly and made his way to the door, dragging his companion with him, while John faced the window, focused on trying to figure out what this pair's hangup was.

The boulder rate sped up suddenly, a few moments later. The group gasped in horror as the pair began to be buried in the rocks. Frantic hands smashed at the keys as they tried to force the thing to stop. When it didn't respond, John let out a snarl, wrenching the door open on psionics and sheer force of will, throwing himself into the room to save his team.

“DAMNIT WHO FUCKED WITH IT.” he heard Sollux snap from the booth, the tang of fried circuits filling the air as the machine finally powered down. John couldn't tell who he was shouting at, but he wasn't about to stop him. Whomever it was deserved what they were getting. “It’s not supposed to run that high FOR ANYONE other than the TRAINERS.”

The other wrigglers took tentative steps into the training area, helping power the rocks away from Atriev and Lateva.

This was going to be a long month.

\--

As predicted it wasn’t the first time it happened, and John was growing more and more frustrated with their predicament. 

As was a certain Indigo.

The trainer's door was slammed open as the hulking male stormed in.

“WHY?” He snarled, slamming the file down on the desk in front of the instructor. Lifetimes past, a troll who wore this very face had been his moirail. Now he was a rather large, chipped and scarred thorn in the Grand Highblood's side. Those pale feelings had ebbed to something seeping with regret and frustration.

“Why what? I can’t answer your questions if you don’t ask them properly.” he frowned, peering up at him from the paperwork he was filling out.

“Why are their reports reading like they could turn in to casualty notices any moment now? Who’s doing this?”

“If I tell you it’ll just get back to the home base and we can’t have that.”

“ANTARESS.”

“As the humans say, patience is a virtue. I do believe your own human friend would encourage you to practice it. All will be revealed in time.”

“I hate you.” he hissed, narrowing his eyes at the gold blooded trainer behind the desk, leaning in as close as he dared.

“Aw. Black for you too. ” He chattered flippantly, batting a hand. “Now, if you’re not going to give me that list, I ask that you kindly step out of my office and calm the fuck down until it’s time for you to actually get involved in this matter.”

“Fuck. You.” He hissed, turning on his heel, stomping out, slamming the door behind him.

“Thousands of sweeps old. Still a wriggler.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to answer everyone's questions as to whether or not this is still updating, the answer is: Yes. I'm just making my fics take back seat to my financial situation. If you like what you see here, and want to help me keep food in my belly while I write things like this, please consider going to my blog and checking out my commissions! I'm [trickstersgambit](http://trickstersgambit.co.vu) on tumblr. My fics have a blog, too. [reincarnationstuck](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com)


	20. Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the full chapter I wanted to give you, but it occurred to me that it should be on it's own rather than in a chapter with another bit of the story. There's not a lot here, but please take it as proof I haven't forgotten about you!

The videos and secretly coded comments were the only contact any of them had with Jontan and Sollux. To anyone else it would simply look like a wriggler developing an online personality, but the former players who'd grown up with him twice, raised him, known Jon since before the beginning of time, knew that to be false. They knew his temper in some of the videos to be checked. They knew the violent tendencies the human turned troll exhibited to be a show.  
Karkat sat with stills from the video uploads piled on the floor beside him, tacking them to the walls of his respite block. Images that gave him good shots of his Matesprit and best friend's faces, expressions fixed in various forms of frustration, exhaustion or conspiratorial smirks. He was watching his partner and best friend grow before his eyes, but it wasn't the way he wished it was. The planes of Jon's faces were pixilated, obscured with dust or sweat or plasma from discharging psionics. He could barely see his partner's second set of eyes, no matter if they were scrunched shut or fully open.

Thirteen films, so many new images to add to his wall in the sweep since they'd been taken. They had no idea where they were; Dirk was having no luck getting a lock on them, in spite of videos, and a description of the (frankly disturbing) view from the 'dorm' windows. However, he'd managed to code a special chat program for them, with the help of Sollux. It deleted itself from whatever computer it was installed on after it was closed out, removing all evidence of having been there. It wasn't much, but it was something. Far more than they'd have otherwise.

A bell rang through the hive and Karkat scrambled to his feet, scattering his beloved, hard won and yet to be hung pictures through the room as he stumbled out and down the stairs to the lower levels, throwing himself at Dave with the intent to either sit on him or drive him to move his butt.

"HE'S ON?? Is it the jackass or the moron... It doesn't matter. Move. I want them."

Red text appeared on the screen as Dave typed out his frustration in a word document, arms wrapped around Karkat's torso as his fingers flew on the keys

'knock it off karkat, have a little respect for your elders  
especially the elder who wiped your snotty nose and fed your ungrateful face  
its the scheduled time but do you see either of them online yet?'

"No! What's wrong? They're never late!!!"

Dave pulled up the browser and searched for their video upload feed, searching for clues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this pseudo chapter isn't very long. I just didn't want to reveal too much, and it didn't fit with the chapter in the file with it. I'm presenting it to you here, mostly as is, with the hope that you'll forgive me for not pushing it further and writing a multi-thousand-word chapter. There's no text editing on this chapter because I'm pathetically bad at it and really need to beg my favorite editor Webpixies to come back and help me survive the hell that is code editing (at least I acknowledge I'm nothing without her amazing talent. And she is amazing, folks. She did the text editing for the last version of this fic and put up with my horrible mistakes. She's a great editor all around and I appreciate her even if I don't talk to her as much as I maybe should.). There's another chapter being edited for you guys tonight. I just wanted to give you this right now. I'm going to try very hard to update this fic, but I AM working on my [comic](http://simonsimonecomic.tumblr.com) now, and struggling to keep my head above water, financially. If you're interested in the rest of my sob story please follow me on tumblr at [trickstersgambit](http://trickstersgambit.co.vu). Just please know that I haven't forgotten about WYBS and I'm still very much on board for getting things done with this. Character redesigns will still be going up on my fic related blog [resurrectionstuck](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com) and my art blog [bluewindyhood](http://bluewindyhood.tumblr.com) and if you're interested in commissions, the information is there too.  
> Like this fic? Like my art? Want to make sure my cat and I don't go hungry and actually see a vet and a doctor while working on my many projects? Please consider a donation, or taking out a commission. Every little bit helps. Details on my blogs listed above.  
> Thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos. I see and read them all, even if I don't take a breath and reply to them. You guys are the reason I still enjoy writing, and doing fanworks like this. You're a joy to write and draw for and I love every minute of it.


	21. pairs and changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was editing this on my old computer and I nearly cried when it crashed before I could send it to myself, but google drafts saved the day.

"So. Tell me about your group, Swoopy. Moirail pairs." His teacher said, goggles down over his eyes, head cocked to the side, swinging his feet onto the desk in his office, watching John like he was expecting him to perform magic. "Who's with it, who's not." One hand held to the desk

John gritted his teeth, hissing through them as he sank into his chair, looking at the touch pad he'd been handed. He hated this. It felt like he was being asked to be a secret informant on his team. His teeth gnashed together in frustration and irritation.

"This is the dumbest thing you could have done to me." In his hands was a program featuring the signs of the members of his crew. "You expect me to be able to tell you who's looking like they're anything but copasetic and pale. You expect me to make the determinations as to who gets to be who's moirail. You're asking me to deny my team the ability to form a relationship beyond a stabilizing one, and only the program approved one. To keep us from growth. I don't want this." he drummed his fingers on the pad, glaring at the man over it.

"Very inciteful for your age. That's what makes you good for this. That and the fact that you don't want the job. The purpose here isn't to shut down growth. It's to prevent a break down. Now. Answer the question."

"Why would a relationship cause a breakdown?" The younger psionic stared up at the adult with a furrowed brow, all four eyes trained tightly on the trainer.

The troll sighed, leaning back on the desk. "What do you think will happen when you graduate here?"

"I've heard horror stories. Teams shoved into rigs in a flight squadron. Close enough to talk, but not free to touch or move around or be with the one you're tied to..." John cringed. Sollux's voice echoed in his head in a life time past, telling him the horrors that had awaited psionics. "Being used for breeding, never getting to know anything beyond your ship and maybe the voice of your moirail, if you're lucky"

"So what do you think will happen if your little group forms more than the needed balancing relationship? What will happen if something along those lines occurrs?" The man asked, arching a brow over his goggles with a clear 'this is the end of that' sort of expression. "Lateva, the one with the horns with the large large arching, blocky set, and a pair of side horns that go forward around zheir face, long, and gross, slick hair looped in it, and really bright orange and yellow eyes and a second set of arms. Er... the sign is mirror image dual spikes, one set pointing to the head, the other set pointing down." he guestured. "All bluster than anything else, no power. Atriev- the one with short hair and tiny, backward horns and two-tone green eyes and broad lower legs-a second set of fibulai-something--suggesting that needs to be surgically removed, by the way-- His symbol was a pair of spirals running together toward the center. All power no real direction. I've seen them help each other out. You can give them each other's patches straight off the bat, no questions asked. Atriev does have a draw back. He's forever fighting with Markes, but it seems like the only real conflict in the team... ish"

Patches. A team member's sign stitched to a pale pink diamond that was then sewn to the left bicep. A sign or the entire compound to realize that if you needed help, there was someone to go to. If you needed controlling, there was someone to torture until you slipped back into your place. Due to Jontan and Sollux's having been brought in together and violently inseperable the two had been patched not long after they'd arrived. Now it was the team's turn.

The instructor arched a brow, waiting for the boy to continue. "Markes--slanted eyes, wild, short hair and horns that think they needed to twist together, with red and orange eyes with a symbol that looks like a pretzel and the second set of ears? He works with Deinai--the girl with hip length wavy hair with forward curling horns and violet and lavender eyes, and a symbol that looked like a an upward double arrow with a tail that drops into a spiral. Extra set of ribs. They're the last pair. Was that all you needed?"

"You need an ash patch for your Auspistice position. The one with Markes and Atriev." The man peered at him, frowning.

"Fine." John rolled his eyes, leaning on one of the arms of his chair.

"Is that all you needed, sir?"

"For now. You've things to do, but you're not off the hook on that 'ish'. When we meet this time during the next wakened cycle I want a full report on the pairing assignments and the 'ish'." he gave a dismissive wave of his hand as he looked at the tablet on his desk. "Take your tablet with you. Assignments will be uploaded to it, and it'll be your job to ensure that your team gets the shit done. Welcome to adulthood, Swoopy."

"My name is Jontan Egbert, sir. I'll thank you to use it, if you're going to treat me like an adult. You've removed me from my lusus before I was ready, you've given me responsibility beyond what I should be capable of. The least you can do is use my name." he puffed air up to move hair out of his eyes, then scrolled through the list of assignments on the page. "I take it the schedule is mine, too?"

"Like I said, welcome to adulthood...Egbert." he scowled, waving him off. "Go to your moirail. Get out of my horns." He hated that he was giving such a heavy task to someone who was only a handful of sweeps old, but if Jon didn't do it himself, someone with more power was going to have to. That someone would be unkind, violent, and they would lose good batteries. Better to let the youngling do it himself.

John nodded, letting himself out, muttering to himself as he passed through the halls, driving himself down the path at top speeds, giggling like mad as the long tail of his hood swished over verigated metal.

As he burst through the door to the dye center, he scrambled to a halt, making a loud clatter on the metal walk way, the sound continuing as he stumbled down the stairs to the dye floor. "DAD."

John spent as much time as he could working with the human who was once his father, teaching him sign language. The man learned slowly, and it frustrated John a little, so when the human turned and greeted him with a simple 'hello son' in sign, John let out a delighted squeak and threw his arms around the man.

"HI. I missed you."

The man managed a very clumsy 'you should be in your room', and John laughed, shaking his head.

"He didn't say at what pace I had to get there..." John leaned back on a bed, giggling. "The man doesn't know how far I can bend the rules. He's not Dave, or you."

Elder Egbert gave John a stern look, crossing his arms in a disapproving way.

"Oh come ON dad, I know I'm supposed to go back to Sollux, but how often do I get to wander around without supervision, with an undefined curfew? How often do I get to see you?"

'What about Dave and Karkat?' his words were all signed out in letters, and John had to count them out to actual words.

"Oh...OH. Oh my gosh. Dad you're right! I should be at the room!" he hugged him again, groaning. "I'm stupid. I'll be back. I'll come back to talk to you." he darted up the stairs, the tablet abandoned on the bed.

The elder man gave a little tut and scooped the thing up, using his foot to clang on a vat, hoping to catch John's attention.

The troll didn't even flinch, didn't glance back, didn't seem to think he was missing anything.

With a sigh, the human strode out the door with it in hand.

He'd have to brave the troll infested halls. A thought that made him shudder.

John scrambled into his room where Sollux was waiting, impatient, fingers drumming on the computer that he'd 'acquired'.

"Took your time did you?"

"You know how Parami is. He just goes on and on and ooonnnnnn. He was making me explain the moirail pairs. They get their patches in a few days. He put me in charge of assignments, and schedules too!" he whined, flopping over Sollux. "I have to monitor this ta--where's my tablet?" 

The speed at which Jontan was able to change gears was amazing. A skill that would make most speed demons jealous.

"I must have left it in the dye chamber. Oh shit. Parami is going to kill me! I'm going to be strung up by my fangs and sli-" 

Sollux caught him by the short horns and wrangled him around, giving him a slight shake.

"JN, You have to go retrace your steps and get that back before PI finds out. Just...take deep breaths and go back out there. Kk and DV can wait."

"but..."

"Go!" he sighed, standing and walking him to the door, shoving him out by the horns. "get that thing back."

John stumbled back out, looking over his shoulder at his moirail.

"What if--?" his question was cut short by sadistic laughter that sent chills down their backs, the two of them running down the halls, throwing people out of their way. 

"Whatcha doin with a leader tablet, slavie?" a troll with four, large, backward arching horns, sneered at it's prey, ringed in by the rest of his team. His voice carried high through the halls, a sort of nasal tone that could set the most calm troll on edge.

Beyond them, the human didn't seem willing to back down, glaring at them, holding the tablet protectively in one arm, the other held out in front of him. If he had both hands he'd have been able to protect himself better against the psionic sparks splashing around him, but he was ardent in his defense of the tool in his grasp, and the trolls were merciless.

The sight of it sent John into a rage, the human-turned-troll launching at the group, blue snaps and archs of energy swimming around him as he grabbed people away from the human, by hand and spark, swinging one backward over his head, dropping down to kick the feet out from under another. 

His hood was grabbed and it yanked on his throat and horns, and John growled, then stumbled forward, blue and red archs of energy dragging the other psionic off him. The minute he was able to get away he stumbled in front of the elder Egbert, snarling loudly, glaring a challenge at the other trolls.

Loud boot falls hit the floor as an adult made their way through the hall, eyes glowing behind goggles. "Cease this fighting!" a trainer snapped, grabbing the combatants up in his powers, John spinning around to drape himself over the human before he was snagged away, dragging the man with him. "GEMINI MINOR! You let your moirail get away with actions like this?"

Sollux scowled, looking at the trainer-their own Parami.

"He has his own version of justice, and I support the fuck out of it."

"And why would that be, Gemini Minor?"

"Because our Lusi were humans, brave, proud, strong. They're slaves here and we're not about to stand for seeing them attacked without purpose. " he huffed, glancing at John, communicating 'you owe me' with narrowed eyes.

"So you're protective because he reminds you of your lusus? Cute." Parami drawled, letting them down. John had to think fast and catch them in his own psionics before they dropped to the ground and someone got hurt. "So if I were to say, offer to throw the man out an airlock, that would bother you, wouldn't it?"

John gulped, clinging to the human in his arms, blue sparks sprouting around him. "Oooh touchy, touchy, Swoopy."

John growled, and Sollux stepped in front of Jontan and his father-reborn.

"Sir, he's been serving in our team meetings on and off since we got here. He's a reliable team lusus and a valuable asset to our team. We're requesting a reassigning of the blue eyed human to our team." Sollux was nothing if not a quick thinker, shoulders squared, ready to take on the adult. If there was anyone better suited to leading a team, it was probably him. "So the both of you would want to bring him back. Alright then." he tapped his chin. "Alright. How about this. In exchange for your human, you have to watch over another pair of psionics on your team."

John and Sollux exchanged a look, frowning.

"Oh don't worry. He'll get a room with a cot, in your corridor, and his job will be playing lusus, since you're going to be too busy to take care of your team's menu or sleep schedule."

The ruffled man looked up at them, frowning.

's-o-n? i-s h-e s-a-y-i-n-g w-h-a-t i t-h-i-n-k h-e-s s-a-y-i-n-g?'

"Yeah. You don't have to work in the dye chamber at all anymore." he laughed softly, hugging him.

'g-o-o-d. i-t s-t-i-n-k-s i-n t-h-e-r-e.' It smelled of blood and vinager, and unwashed bodies. There was a trace of relief on the human's face as he looked between the stern trainer and his son.

"His room will be made up by morning. Get out of my sight." he turned, throwing the pair a wink. He knew. Parami knew! How much, or what, neither could be sure, but he CERTAINLY knew something.

As they strode back to their room, John clung to Dad, peering around him to look Sollux.

"This had better be worth it."

"We'll see. You'd better hope they're better than Lateva."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see my art blog [bluewindyhood](http://bluewindyhood.tumblr.com/) for upcoming art. For up to date chapter statuses, my ficblog is [reincarnationstuck.](http://reincarnationstuck.tumblr.com) For my main blog please see [trickstersgambit](http://trickstersgambit.co.vu). Like my work? Like my writing and art so much you wanna read a comic I'm writing? Wanna help me survive the winter? Please consider a commission or donation. Details are on my main, art, and fiction blogs.


	22. New announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I have news for you and WYBS is getting a better rewrite but with some terms and conditions attached.

So I’ve finally moved, but not where I was expecting. Things are frustrating and overwhelming right now and I’m trying to survive but I have a little bit of time to work on comics and fanfics, so I’m working on WYBS today.

The new foundation chapter is currently 1k and I’m trying to sort and organize information to make it more coherent. I’ll be breaking WYBS into two stories that you can read in a series on AO3. I don’t know what the ‘first part’ will be called(Probably “Not the Prize World you’re looking for” because I’m a shitty Star Wars nerd and Obi Wan is my hero), but the part that follows the Strider Lusi will be ‘Will You Be Striders? Rise up.’, and will be gussied up to be posted on AO3 in a tidier format. The ‘original’ will remain because why the hell not?

Anyway. Moving has kind of wiped my accounts out and I have something like 50$ left and I owe one of my roommates something close to 600$. I need to be able to pay them back and it’s stressing me out but I’m trying very hard to make that happen, finish my comic, and all my commissions. I’m getting a tooth out on monday and then it’s nothing but drugged writing for me since I won’t be able to handle a pen or anything like that until I’m off pain meds

Now to the meat of it. If you want to help make my life not hell, if you’re interested in my art or you just want to help keep me from starving, please consider commissioning a chapter from me via paypal (lostlittleairhead@gmail.com), let’s say 5$ will buy you a chapter for WYBS?RU since it’s mostly rewriting, reorganizing and reposting, and 10$ will buy you a chapter for NTPWYLF, since it’s half old content and half new content. It’s lowballing but i’m desperate.

Basically if you see a chapter go up, I got a donation that qualified for a posting of the chapter. I’ll be writing the fic, but the chapters won’t be posted until or unless I get paid for a chapter.

I got a 15$ donation this morning, so let’s say the first chapters of WYBS:RU and NTPWYLF are covered. From there, it’s up to you guys.


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